I chuckled while silently cursing this town and their eagerness to give. But her leaving was inevitable, sparkling trailer or not. At least this way she wasn’t couch-hopping or relying on some janky motel.
My hands slid in the front pockets of my jeans, fighting the urge to reach for her. I’d have to get used to not touching Parker whenever I wanted because, well, she simply wouldn’t be around.
“I’ve got Tex in the cross-ties if you’re ready for him. Picked his feet and gave him a bath.”
“You didn’t have to do that,” she said, and she almost sounded a little guilty.
I looked down at my boots. “I wanted to.”Because it was the last time I’d ever get to.
We walked side by side to the barn until we reached Tex. His ears instantly perked when Parker came around the corner, and I almost felt jealous. Of ahorse. He got to go with her, and I didn’t. How the fuck else was I supposed to feel?
“Hey, bud.” She ran a hand down his nose before unclipping his halter from the cross-ties.
Tex was a beautiful sorrel with three white socks. Heand Parker were inseparable. As rough of a past as he’d had, he never let that affect how he treated her. I could only imagine he’d be happy as ever bonding with her on this trip—however long it may be.
I walked a bit ahead of her so I could open the back of the trailer. She led him in with ease, and once he was secure, she triple-checked that everything looked good.
“Did you decide where you’re going first?” I asked as she closed the door.
“Montana, I think. I won’t really know until I get on the road, though. The whole point of this is no rules, you know? I’m just going to go where the wind takes me.” She latched the door, eyes scanning to be sure she hadn’t missed a lock.
I nodded, unsure what to say because it was hitting me. I’d known for months what her plan was, the same way she knew mine. Yet it hadn’t felt real until now, with her standing before me, minutes away from leaving my life for good.
She turned around, and it was like both our worlds stopped spinning. A curl flew across her forehead, caught in the breeze, but our eyes didn’t move from one another’s.
Was she feeling the pain I felt now? That achingly gutting feeling digging out the depths of my stomach and replacing it with lead? Could I even stomach a world without Parker Summerhill in it?
“So this is it,” I said, battling that urge to touch her again. If we were breaking things off, I couldn’t be doingall the things I used to do, like hug her whenever I wanted and lay claim to those pretty pink lips of hers.
“This is it.” Her shoulders fell with her released breath. Or maybe it was the weight of this goodbye that sat heavy on her.
I knew it did for me.
There wasn’t much else for us to say. We’d already discussed everything. How I’d be leaving to dive more seriously into rodeo. How she’d be in a lot of places without cell reception. How we could talk, but we shouldn’t. This was supposed to be a time where we both found ourselves. At least, that’s what she’d called it.
I’d already found my place, though. With her.
But this would be good for us. We’d figure out what we wanted in this life, and if fate worked the way we hoped, maybe we’d find each other again.
With her mom having just recently passed, I highly doubted Parker would be coming back to Bell Buckle anytime soon, if ever. There was nothing left for her here. Not without me.
I’d wanted to tell her to wait for me. To assure her that once I was back in Bell Buckle, away from rodeo, I still wanted her. But that wouldn’t have been fair for her. I wanted her to be happy and find herself. And, well, if that one day wasn’t with me, then I’d have to accept the fact that maybe it wasn’t justright person, wrong time. That maybe it was all wrong.
Except I refused to believe that was the case for us. Parker and I were endgame. Maybe not in the mostconventional way, but I had hope this wasn’t the end for us.
Yet that little voice in the back of my head told me this might be the last time.
“I should probably go,” Parker said hesitantly, looking almost pained as she spoke.
“Right. You could get a few hours underway before it’s dark if you leave now.”
“Yeah.” She inhaled like she was breathing in my presence for the last time.
“Drive safe, okay? For however long you stay in that thing.” I lifted my chin in the direction of the truck and trailer. “And close your curtains at night.”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “You’ve told me that at least a dozen times.”
“I’ll tell you a dozen more if you don’t get going.” What the fuck was I doing? I wanted more of her. To soak in this moment a little longer. Yet here I was, shoving her away like her being on this ranch was wasting my time.
