I paced the living room, staring at the front door, waiting for Finn to walk through it. I knew he wouldn’t be off duty until Elle went to sleep, but it had been hours, and I started wondering ifhe’d even turn up at all. He’d never been so angry with me. Even when we’d argued before and he’d stormed out, he’d always come back, and we’d have the best fucking make-up sex.
He opened the door at one in the morning, and I jumped up from the sofa, turning to face him. He glared at me, nostrils flaring, then stepped inside and slammed the door shut behind him.
“Finn,” I breathed, honestly relieved that he was there at all. “I thought you might not come.”
“I nearly didn’t,” he snarled, ripping off his jacket and running a hand down his face. “But then I realised something.”
“What?” I felt like a lamb trapped in a cage with a furious lion. One wrong move, and he’d tear me to pieces.
“That the only person who could give me the answers to why the hell my heart is being ripped from my fucking chest right now, making me want to kill someone, is standing in this apartment.”
I licked my lips and walked into the kitchen. He looked like he could use a drink or ten to calm down. “Do you want a drink?”
“No. I don’t want a fucking drink! I want you to tell me what the hell is going on in your fucked-up head, Enzo. You’re trying to date my best fucking friend.”
I paused, bracing my hands against the kitchen island and softening my gaze. “She’s not your best friend, Finn. I know you care about her, but she’s your job. I’ve told you this before. You need to draw a professional line with her.”
That was the wrong thing to say. He stormed towards me, grabbed my shirt, and slammed me against the fridge. His fist reared back, ready to strike. I stared, unmoving. If he wanted to punch me in the face, I wasn’t going to stop him. If it made him feel better, fine. I was the reason he was so livid, and I probably deserved it, but it wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
His fist shook, and he bared his teeth at me before slamming me back into the fridge and letting me go. He stormed away, his fists clenched.
“Finn, I was going to explain this before tonight, but we kept missing each other. I didn’t want you to find out this way.”
“Find out what exactly? That you’re leaving me for my best friend because she has a fucking pussy, which makes your life more convenient?”
“No!” I yelled, moving towards him. He had it all wrong. “I’m not leaving you! I’d never leave you, Finn. That isn’t what this is.”
He stopped pacing, his eyebrows furrowing and his lips tightening.
“Max told Giovanni I was interested in her, and Gio gave me the green light. He said he approved of me marrying his sister. And… it makes sense, Finn. Elle is the best option for me. Gio trusts that I’ll look after her.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Every fucking word that comes out of your mouth makes it harder not to punch you, Enzo. Do you think Gio would trust you and let you marry her if he knew the truth?”
“Which is exactly why I need to marry her, Finn!” I snapped. Why didn’t he get it? “I’m a dead man walking without a powerful marriage alliance and an heir! Marrying Elenora Buccini is my fucking lifeline! And ours, too. You’re her bodyguard. You’d live with me! We could tell her about us after we’re married.”
“So you want to trick her? And you think she’d be okay with it? Are you listening to yourself, Enzo? These are people’s lives you’re messing with. Elenora’s and mine!”
“And mine!” I shouted, matching his hostility with mounting agitation. “What better choice do I have?”
“Uh, how about not marrying my best fucking friend and trapping her in a life of lies and secrets, where she will be miserable? Where we will all be miserable!”
I dropped my head back and tried to find some patience. How could I make him see that this would all work out?
“You’re too upset to see it now. I understand. But in a few days, you’ll realise this is actually a great situation for us. We’ll be together all the time, and Elenora will keep our secret because she loves you. I’ll let her have discreet affairs and give her the freedom she craves. Finn, it’s a win-win.”
He stared at me as if I were a stranger. I stilled. That look was more terrifying than his anger. In fact, there was no sign of anger in his expression at all. Just pain. He dropped onto the sofa and rested his head in his hands.
My gut twisted, and guilt spread through my veins because I knew I was to blame. This was because of me. Because of who I was and who I could never be. Because of what I could never give him. And I hated it. I hated being born with the name Aiani and what it meant. But I was too selfish to let him go.
I sat beside him and pressed my forehead to his temple. He exhaled a shaky breath, his hunched shoulders trembling.
“Finn, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t how we'd like it to be, but I’m trying. I’m trying to find a solution, a way for us to be together and stay safe. Just… trust me. This will work for us.”
He lifted his head and pressed his hands to his mouth. He looked… devastated.
“Finn…”
“I can’t—” He jumped up from the sofa, putting distance between us that suddenly felt more than physical. “I can’t believe I have to do this.”
