“Am I supposed to believe that? Now that you’re out, you can have anyone you want.”
He licked his lips, his gaze dropping to my mouth. “But I only want you. I’ve never wanted anyone else.”
I laughed in disbelief, shoving him away, but he snapped back like a yo-yo, pressing his hips into mine and caging me against the kitchen island. The feel of his hard cock against my hip bone sent a deep rumble of need through me, and I grabbed the edge of the counter, groaning.
“Fuck off, Aiani.” My voice came out as a breathless moan, and I hated myself for it. Where was the anger, conviction, and determination from five minutes ago?
He brushed his lips against mine, sending sparks everywhere. “Make me.”
I shoved him hard, and before I knew it, we were scrapping, half-fighting, half-groping at each other’s bodies, both of us trying to dominate. Suddenly, he spun me around, my face slammed against the cold surface of the island and my body bent at the waist like a pretzel under his strength. He had my arms twisted across my back. Fuck, he was so much stronger than he used to be. It took me by surprise, and the feel of his chest heaving against my back, his breath at the shell of my ear, and his cock pressed against my ass had me panting and shaking with need.
“I remember everything you taught me, Finn,” he groaned into my ear, thrusting his hips against my ass. I moaned, closing my eyes because, fuck, he felt amazing. “Except now… I’m bigger and stronger than you.”
“You fucking wish,” I growled, aware that if I hadn’t been so startled by the difference in his body, I would have used different moves. “I could still knock you out with one punch.”
“Probably.” His lips curved against my ear. “But you like this, don’t you? Me dominating you.”
Fuck, I did. I really did. I was a switch, but I mainly topped him during our relationship until I trusted him enough to fuck me. But this Enzo… he knew what he wanted, and it was so hot.
“What do you want, Finn? Shall I get on my knees for you? Suck your cock and eat your ass until you’re so relaxed I can fuck you like a rag doll over this kitchen counter?”
My mind swam in a hazy fog of lust. I closed my eyes, my cock throbbing against the restriction of my jeans. Could I do it? Could I let him fuck me and have that be it? One night of hot sex with an ex before he goes out into the world of men who will all be vying for his attention? Could it be just sex without breaking me?
Enzo released me and stepped back, leaving me panting on the counter as I tried to unscramble my thoughts. What did I want? I wanted him. But I hated him for it. I didn’t want to be weak. I didn’t want him to think this was me giving in to him. This was me… so fucking turned on and needing a fix. It had been too long—months since I’d been with a man. And no man had ever compared to him. The sex with him… it was nuclear. Devastating. Destructive. But in the best way. It always had been.Would it still be?
Slowly, I straightened my body and turned around. He was staring at me, those blue eyes pinning me in place, full of longing. There was no challenge there, only desperation. Andthat made it even hotter. I could see how much he wanted me. How much he wanted this.
“What do you want, Finn? Tell me what you want, and I’ll do it.”
“Get on your knees.”
He dropped to his knees on the hard floor without missing a beat. A flare of desire surged straight to my cock, strangling it painfully against my jeans. He looked up, his chest heaving, but all his attention was locked on me, waiting in anticipation.
I reached for the top button of my jeans, popping it open, but not going any further. “Is this what you came here for? My cock?”
“I came here for you. I want you.”
“I’m not an option.” His eyes flared with pain, and he swallowed. “But if you want my cock, you’ll need to beg for it.”
He exhaled a deep breath. “And then what? What happens after?”
“You’ll leave.”
The weight of the world seemed to settle on his shoulders as soon as those words left my lips. But what did he expect? That, just because he’d come out, we’d pick up where we’d left off and run away into the sunset together?
He lowered his chin to his chest and sighed. Then he got back to his feet, closed in on me, took my face in his hands, and pressed his forehead to mine. The gesture was so dominant yet tender that I struggled to breathe.
“Don’t think for one second this is me not wanting your cock, Finn. I fucking want it. But I want you more. All of you,” he said, looking into my soul. “I know I broke your heart and hurt you beyond measure. I hate myself for ruining us. I was a coward who knew I didn’t deserve your love. I was right. I didn’t back then. But I’m trying. I’ve been trying to become a man worthy of you. You’re the only man I’ve ever loved and the only manI’ve ever fucked. Everything I know and everything I want is wrapped up in you. It always has been. It’s only you, Finn. And I’ll wait until you believe it too.”
He released me and stepped back. My mouth opened and closed, choked by speechlessness, and then he was gone. The front door closed softly behind him.
I stared at the kitchen cupboards, trying to form a coherent thought. But his words and actions kept swirling in my head.You’re the only man I’ve ever loved and the only man I’ve ever fucked.Had he not been with a man since me? It’s only you, Finn. I want your cock, but I want you more. All of you.What was that? Some kind of power play? Dangling his sexual influence over me, then taking it away until I begged him? Or had he really changed?
The old Enzo would have sucked my cock tonight. He wouldn’t have thought about the consequences or what it meant until afterwards. But tonight, he fell to his knees, ready to give himself to me, only to walk away when I offered him no-strings sex.
He was different. And this version of him, this self-assured man who knew what he wanted and wasn’t afraid to go after it, hit me like a new drug. The kind that slips into your veins before you realise it’s there, ready to mess you up. All you can do is pray you make it out the other side in one piece. Enzo had always been my drug. But I’d managed to break free from the addiction. I’d gone cold turkey for so long, but the temptation was greater than ever. I’d been starved of him. And he’d been growing stronger, more potent, more dangerous. More addictive. If I relapsed, if I caved and had just one little taste, I’d be finished. I wouldn’t make it out alive. Not this time.
Chapter nine
