With a curt nod, Lethal pivoted and walked toward the door. “I’ll text you my address.”
Without another word, he walked out of the room. While holed up in her hotel room for the past few days, Khrome had managed to convince herself that maybe her child was better off without her. She had a father with his shit together that would love and spoil her. By telling herself over and over again that Lyric didn’t need her, the guilt wasn’t there. As soon as Lethal checked her, and she came back to reality, Khrome’s gut churned. She was ashamed. Her daughter had only been in the world for a week, and she’d already given up. It was pathetic.
In the shower, she scrubbed away days’ worth of neglect. She lathered herself and rinsed off three times before she felt better. After she washed her hair and brushed her teeth, Khrome felt like a new woman. She moisturized her skin, pulled her hair back into a sleek bun, and put gloss on her lips. Remembering she was going to the NICU, Khrome was mindful not to put on perfume or use any strong scents. After moving around the room and gathering the few things she had, Khrome walked out to the car feeling a sense of relief. She was happy to be going to see her baby. She was grateful that even after she drugged and stole from him, Lethal had been as nice as he had to her.
Khrome had survived too much to be ready to fold because her milk wouldn’t come in or she was scared that she wouldn’t be a good mother. Vick and Cam were both dead. They could no longer hurt her, and never again would she allow a man to do the things they did to her. She was finally free, physically, now she just had to free her mind. Lethal was placed in her life for a reason. She refused to look at him in a romantic way because after what she did to him, he probably wouldn’t have sex with her even if he could have used another man’s dick. She had accepted that.
Simply having him in her corner as her child’s father was the best thing she could ask for. Khrome’s face burned as she walked into the NICU. She wondered if the nurses had huddled aroundand talked about what a deadbeat she was. To her surprise, one of the nurses gave her a huge smile when she noticed her.
“Hey, Mama! How have you been? Lyric is doing so good today.”
Swallowing down a lump, Khrome prayed inwardly that she could speak without breaking down. “I’m sorry I haven’t been here. I wasn’t in a good place mentally, and I just couldn’t get out of bed. I’ve been trying to pump, but nothing worth anything comes out.” Her eyes watered, and she looked everywhere but at the nurse’s face.
“Oh, Honey, a little sadness is to be expected. I know it’s a lot. Trust me, staying home and taking care of yourself for a few days isn’t the worst thing in the world. Getting yourself together mentally before that little girl comes home, is the most important thing. She’s been in great hands while you took some time for you. I’m also going to see if I can get the lactation specialist to come down and talk to you.”
It seemed as if lately, all Khrome did was cry. Even so, she was still surprised when she erupted into tears. The nurse’s kindness wasn’t something she expected. All she’d expected was judgment. Instead, she was met with compassion, understanding, and words of encouragement. When the nurse hugged her, she cried harder. It was official. God hadn’t forgot about her. Now, she had to make sure she didn’t forget about herself either. Khrome had to show up and show out. Fuck being a victim, she was going to be a victor.
When Brazil looked up from his plate, Danyelle was staring at him. It dawned on him that she had been talking, and he hadn’t heard a word she said.
“My bad,” he apologized. He wasn’t sure if she was waiting on the answer to a question or if he was supposed to be responding to a comment.
“Something on your mind?”
“Just general stuff,” he lied. “The season is about to end. Gotta renegotiate contracts, put me and my daughter on a new schedule, that kind of thing,” he lied. Giavanna had been out of the hospital for two days, and he hadn’t checked on her since the day before. She told him that she’d been doing a lot of sleeping and didn’t have much of an appetite. He found himself wishing he could do more for her. Giavanna really was a sweet person, and he hated that she was going through these things.
He couldn’t even take Unique to visit her because they both had weak immune systems. Whatever kind of infection that Giavanna had, he prayed she hadn’t already given it to Unique. Brazil didn’t feel like there was anything wrong with him being concerned about Giavanna, but to be so consumed by thoughts of her that he was ignoring his date was crazy to him.
“I don’t personally know any men that have full custody of their children and are single fathers. I think that is amazing, and I wish there were more men out here like you.” Danyelle peered across the table at Brazil with stars in her eyes.
She was super fresh out of a marriage, and Brazil was almost one hundred percent sure she was looking for a distraction. She was trying to replace the man she lost with something better. He had mentioned to her during a phone conversation that he felt she needed time to heal. Her response was that she left the marriage mentally long before it was finally over. Danyelle felt she was fine to move on, and Brazil wasn’t going to try and prove that he was right and she was wrong. He made it clear to her that he didn’t mind hanging out and having fun, but his daughter and career were his main priorities and everything else was on the back burner. She said she understood.
Brazil wasn’t even sure he wanted to sleep with her. If her judgement was already clouded, her getting dicked down wouldn’t have made the issue better. Having such a young child and to be the primary guardian wasn’t easy. Brazil just wanted to fall in line with parenting and be good at what he did. A woman wasn’t at the forefront of his mind, but if and when he decided to be with someone, his child would be considered. She would have to be a good fit for him and his child, and there would be no exceptions to the rule.
“I’ve heard that quite a bit, and I think that’s sad. We need better parents, period. Men and women. It wasn’t any hesitation with me getting my child when I heard that her mother passed.”
“Do you want more kids?”
“Eventually, yes. I have three brothers, and we’re thick as thieves. It’s impossible for all my kids to have the same mother, but I refuse to create a bunch of broken homes. I won’t get another woman pregnant unless we plan it. And if we ever go our separate ways it will only be after we genuinely tried to make things work.”
“I love that.” Danyelle’s lips formed a sad smile. “I wish more men thought like you.”
Brazil’s shoulder hiked into a passive shrug. “I can’t even say it’s because I was raised right. I knew men that came from good two-parent homes that are dead beat fathers. I also know men that didn’t have fathers that are great fathers. I just don’t see how adults can’t comprehend that not being there for your kids can really mess them up and affect the kind of life they have as an adult.”
“How long do you think it would take you dating a person before you realize that you’d want to marry her and have kids with her?”
There it was. The thing that he wanted to avoid. There was nothing wrong with dating with purpose. Being intentionalwas important and when dating a person, these kinds of conversations were necessary. Danyelle was on a mission. The ink was barely dry on her divorce papers, and she was already scouting for husband number two.
“I don’t think it takes a super long time to be able to tell if you could marry a person and have kids with them, but it would be at least a year of a happy, healthy relationship before I would even consider proposing. Once we’re married, we can start trying for kids right away.”
Danyelle nodded. Brazil could practically see the wheels turning in her head. He couldn’t fully count her out. It was too early to tell. But the fact that she was so desperate to be married again so soon after one marriage ended was a red flag. Another red flag was the fact that he was out with her, and he couldn’t stop thinking about Giavanna. When he saw her on the ground not moving, he thought she was dead. The way Brazil’s heart dropped, and his knees buckled in that moment was shocking even to him. The way his heart raced as he turned her over to see if she was breathing almost gave him a heart attack.
Brazil was terrified. Even after he realized that she was in fact breathing, the fear wouldn’t dissipate. He called 9-1-1 while staring down into her face and praying for God to spare her at the same time. The anguish that gripped him couldn’t be just because she was Unique’s cousin and helped him with her. Brazil didn’t wish death on anybody, and he wouldn’t want to stumble across anyone’s dead body. But if Danyelle collapsed in front of him in that moment, he was almost certain his body wouldn’t react the way that it did when he found Giavanna.
All he could think about was his daughter. She couldn’t leave Unique. She couldn’t leave him? Brazil really felt like he was bugging. They were cordial. She was nice, and she was Kera’s cousin. The relationship could never go past being platonic. He could not want a platonic friend to die, right?
Danyelle asked him more question about his career and family. They met at the restaurant, and he could tell she was disappointed when he declined going to her house. If it was what she really wanted, he would probably have sex with her eventually, but he wasn’t pressed. He could talk and tell her what it was until his tongue fell out of his mouth, but women responded to actions. Brazil knew if he was a pussy hound and sexed her every chance he got, not only would she fall faster, but she’d get it in her head that she could fuck him into falling for her, and that would never be the case. Brazil was the kind of man that could have the best pussy he’d ever had and still never talk to the woman again if he chose not to.
“Are you dating someone else?” Danyelle looked like she was on the verge of tears.
