Kissing his teeth, Lethal shook his head. “And how do you know that’s not his baby?”
The question garnered a frown from Khrome. “I haven’t had sex with him in almost a year. I felt hopeless as far as leaving because I don’t have a high credit score, didn’t have a job, or a car, but I wasn’t going to keep letting him have sex with me. Depression had me drinking almost every day. I had no problem getting drunk and fighting him. He got tired of having to wrestle with me for sex, so he just left me alone.”
“Bitch-ass nigga,” Lethal murmured. He wasn’t sure how to feel about Khrome.
It seemed like her back was against the wall, but he also felt he’d be a fool to believe her. Her words replayed in his head.She. He was having a daughter.
Silence loomed in the air for what seemed like an hour before he finally spoke. “Listen, this situation is crazy as hell. I don’t even want to believe that this could be my kid, but for a few months, I couldn’t stand the smell of anything. Raw meat, certain cologne, seafood. I thought I was tripping. As soon as the shit subsides, I see you, and you’re pregnant. I’m willing to take a paternity test and if I am the father, that fuck nigga better not touch you while you’re pregnant, but yo”—Lethal shook his head— “I don’t know how this will work if I don’t trust you.”
“I don’t blame you for not trusting me. I had no plans to ask you for anything, and I was prepared to do it alone. You don’t have to put money in my hand. You can just buy the baby whatever you want. I just needed to leave him and get myself together before the baby comes. I got me. And it doesn’t change things, but I’m sorry for what I did. I’m not making excusesbut since the age of sixteen, I’ve had nothing but vultures and abusers in my life.”
“What hotel are you staying at?” Lethal ignored the apology and put the gear in drive.
Khrome gave him the address, and they rode the entire fourteen-minute drive in silence. As she opened the door to exit the vehicle, he spoke. “I’m about to start training soon, and I don’t stay up past ten when I train but for tomorrow, I can come by your job when you get off and make sure that nigga doesn’t bother you.”
Lethal’s words shocked Khrome. “Oh okay, thank you. I work from four p.m. until eleven p.m.”
He didn’t give a verbal response, just a quick nod of his head. Khrome exited the vehicle and walked into the hotel lobby almost in a daze. It had been a pretty eventful night. The constant up and down of the events in her life had her mentally exhausted. The last person she expected to help her was Lethal but shit, Keyonna had done it, so why not him? The fact that he was even willing to take a paternity test made her happy as well. Lethal didn’t have to do anything for her, and she stood ten toes behind it. If he was willing to help her take care of the baby, however, that would be a total blessing, and she wouldn’t take it for granted.
CHAPTER 5
With her backagainst her headboard, Giavanna sat up Indian style in bed and stared at the wall in front of her. She had been staring at the stark white wall for the longest time. It started out with her waiting for her pain medication to kick in, so the throbbing in her head would subside. She sat quietly praying for relief with each passing second. Giavanna was so tired of having to deal with her emotions that soon, she became so lost in staring at the wall that it took her a while to even notice that her headache had finally tapered off. Giavanna’s lids fluttered, but she fought to keep her eyes open.
She was tired of sleeping, tired of crying, tired of being tired. Chemo zapped all of her energy. The nausea medicine that she took made her drowsy. Her illness and the side effects of chemo made her sleep enough, she didn’t need any added drowsiness, but the nausea medication stopped her from throwing up every hour on the hour. Each day, Giavanna tried her best to be grateful for another day, but it was so hard to be happy and smile through the tragedy that had become her life.
A knock at the door made a dejected sigh push from her throat. One thing she would always be grateful for was her support system. There were people who really cared about her,but they also had lives and other obligations. The company and check-ins were great, but Giavanna was slowly learning to cherish her time alone. In no way did she ever want to come across like a bitch or as being ungrateful, but of course, everyone around her was always so optimistic and bubbling rays of sunshine. They made her feel guilty about something as natural as being afraid. In her opinion, people wanted her to put on a cape and become super confident that her story would play out the way she wanted it to, and Giavanna found that pretending to be something she wasn’t was exhausting and annoying.
Slowly, she eased out of bed because one side effect that she hadn’t anticipated from either the cancer or the chemo was aching joints, especially her legs. She’d been wearing a bonnet for two days, afraid to see any shedding of the thick, beautiful hair that she was so in love with. Looking in the mirror actually made Giavanna sad. The dark circles underneath her eyes. The dull appearance of her skin. She didn’t recognize herself nor did she feel like herself. And people wanted her to be in good spirits? Giavanna wanted a shirt that said fuck off because that was her permanent mood.
After peeking through the peephole in the door, Giavanna observed her best friend, Sheena, standing on the other side of the door. Simultaneously, she slowly pulled the door opened and put on a small smile. One that didn’t reach her eyes, but she also knew that despite how she felt, no one wanted to be around a Debbie Downer all the time.
“Hey, Boo,” she greeted her friend of twenty years.
“I come bearing gifts.” Sheena raised two black gift bags. “How are you feeling today, Sis?”
“I just had a terrible headache. Like pounding. I took something, and it eased off. It also helped a little with the aching in my legs, so that was a two-for-one deal. Other than that, just the usual fatigue, but I guess it could be worse.” Giavanna satdown on the couch, choosing not to run down the other ailments she had like dry mouth and a metallic taste in her mouth that made everything she ate and drank taste awful. She was sure Sheena got the gist of her answer.
Sheena placed the gift bags on the floor at her feet and began pulling items out. “First, I have this oil diffuser because I know you love a good smelling house, but candles are not good for us, so I got you this and a bunch of oils.”
Giavanna wanted to say why should she stop burning candles if she already had cancer, but she bit her tongue and continued watching her friend remove items from the bag.
“I got you these cute little fuzzy socks, a journal and a pen, some ginger chews to eat on, and this book by Sarah Jakes-Roberts.” When she was done presenting the items, Sheena sat there smiling proudly, and her genuine simper made Giavanna smile as well.
“Thank you, Friend. I love everything. I’ve told y’all to stop spoiling me.”
“Never.” Sheena looked around the room. “Need me to do anything for you? It looks pretty clean in here.”
“Yeah, last night my mom did the dishes and cleaned up in the bathroom before she left. And before that headache started kicking my ass earlier, I had a little energy, so I vacuumed and did some light dusting. Nothing major.”
“Got any errands you need me to run for you?”
“No, but if you’re not busy tomorrow, and I feel up to it, I would like to go get pedicures. These feet are atrocious, honey. I thought about taking this gel off my nails, but the doctor said the chemo could turn my nails black, and that’s going to be so ugly.” Giavanna swallowed down a lump.
“You know I’m always down for some pampering and self-care. I never want to make you feel like your feelings aren’t valid, so I won’t say who cares if your nails are black. You obviouslycare, and I never want to dismiss your feelings, so whatever you want to do, I have your back. Take the gel off. Leave it on. Whatever your heart tells you to do.”
With a smile on her face, Giavanna stood up and advanced toward her friend. Leaning down, she wrapped her arms around Sheena and gave her a tight hug. There were people who went through the hardest obstacles in their life alone, and Giavanna was so grateful that wasn’t her story. Her prayer was that she continued to live, so she could return the favor any time people in her life needed support.
The doorbell rang, and Giavanna released her friend. People rarely called or texted anymore before stopping by, and it was a process for her to not be annoyed by the constant impromptu visits. Not even bothering to check and see who it was, Giavanna unlocked the door and pulled it open. The sight of Brazil standing there in all his tall, muscular glory with a fresh haircut and beard smelling like shea butter, made her breath catch in her throat. He stood before her dressed in Nike shorts that did nothing to hide his third leg. With a flushed face, Giavanna quickly tore her gaze away from his package.
