‘We’ll go to Portree,’ Giselle said firmly. Even if there was somewhere in the village that sold them, she wouldn’t buy one; not unless she wanted it spread all around Duncoorie by the end of the day. She’d had to swear Cook to secrecy as it was. Giselle also wanted to come to terms with it herself first before sharing the news. And Rocco should be told before anyone, including her parents.
The journey into the town was a sombre one. Giselle still couldn’t believe it, and Izzy seemed lost in her own thoughts.
‘Do you want me to get it?’ her sister offered as they pulled into a parking space outside the supermarket.
‘Do you mind?’ Giselle thought she might cry if she had to stand in front of a shelf of tests and pick one.
‘Of course I don’t. I won’t be long.’ Izzy rubbed her arm. ‘It’ll be OK, Zelle.’
Izzy could say it as often as she liked, but Giselle wasn’t convinced. She hated to admit it, but she was scared. Terrified, in fact. This latest shock was one too many, and she felt totally overwhelmed. In a few short weeks she’d gone from being completely in control of her life to riding a roller coaster of emotions, uncertainty and indecision. And when Izzy got back in the car, it all became too much, and Giselle started to cry.
‘I don’t know what to do,’ she wailed, sniffing into a tissue that Izzy had retrieved from her bag. ‘I love Rocco with all my heart, but I don’t want to bring up a child anywhere buthere.’
‘Let’s get you home and do the test first, shall we?’ Izzy soothed. ‘You might be worrying over nothing. Periods can be late for all kinds of reasons, like if you’re unwell, or stressed, or—’
‘Pregnant,’ Giselle broke in.
Izzy pressed her lips together and didn’t say anything further until they reached the bothy. Taking the test out of the bag, she passed it to Giselle, who took it from her grimly.
Her stomach was in knots and her hands shook as she retreated to the bathroom.
The instructions were clear. Pregnant or Not Pregnant. No faint lines to worry about, no room for misunderstanding. Simply two bald, no-nonsense statements.
Not wanting to hover in the bathroom waiting for the words to appear, Giselle left the test in there and went to sit on the sofa for the requisite length of time.
‘Will you go and look for me?’ Giselle asked, with two minutes left to go. She was brave, but not that brave.
Izzy bit her lip and nodded. She got to her feet.
‘It won’t be ready yet,’ Giselle pointed out.
‘I’ll go check anyway. You never know…’
Twisting her hands in her lap, Giselle waited.
And waited.
Izzy had been in there for ages. What was taking so long?
Finally, her sister emerged, a stunned expression on her face. She was holding the little plastic stick.
‘Pregnant?’ Giselle asked, her voice hitching.
Izzy nodded.
‘Bloody hell! Iknewit. Itoldyou I was pregnant, didn’t I?’
Izzy was staring at her, her eyes wide, her face pale. ‘Not you, Zelle. Me.I’mthe one who’s having a baby.’
Giselle had tears in her eyes as she waved her sister off. Izzy wasreturning to Milan and her plumber fiancé this afternoon, and she had aplane to catch. As well as a wedding to plan!
Adrift and alone, and not in the right frame of mind to do anything creative, Giselle walked down the hill to the loch, and when she reached the narrow crescent of beach, she removed her sandals and stepped onto the sand, wiggling her toes.
Turning her face to the sky, she closed her eyes. Pink and orange filled her vision, the sun’s rays bathing her skin, and she breathed deeply, drawing the clean salty air into her lungs, holding it there for a moment, then letting it out slowly.
She felt oddly calm, hollowed out, numb, almost. Her brain had seized up, closed down, and flat lined.Notthinking was good. For a while, at least. She’d come to the loch for a reboot, to switch off until she’d calmed enough to think clearly.
The grains of sand shifted as she walked across the beach, her feet sinking into them. Where the waves lapped the shore, wading birds paddled, poking their long thin bills into the sand, looking for food. A gull called overhead, answered by another, and in the distance, she could see a cormorant perched on a rock, black wings outstretched as it dried its feathers in the sun. Beyond the jetty, a seal bobbed in the water, grey and sleek, watching her with liquid puppy-dog eyes.
