Talking about me wet and naked enjoying myself wasn't the brightest idea, especially when I noticed how his eyes hooded and his grip on the arm of the couch tightened.
He made no secret of wanting me, but desire wasn't enough to build a lasting relationship.
We had so many lies and mistakes between us, but above all else, love.
I could feel that desperate love hanging over our heads like an axe, ready to fall and create another disaster any minute. We couldn't be reckless anymore.
We had a child.
“We need to talk,” he said quietly, and I nodded in agreement. If anything else, we owed each other honesty.
“Mama, you’re blocking the view,” Jake complained, grabbing a slice of pizza.
“Sorry, honey. Have fun, guys.” The hair on the back on my neck stood up as I physically felt the caress of Radmir’s eyes on me.
Radmir
Jake could barely keep his eyes open as the credits started to roll. The straw from the soda hung from his mouth, and his hockey shirt had several pizza sauce stains on them. For a five-year-old, he had quite an appetite; the large pizza was almost done, with only two slices left for Vi in case she got hungry. Jake put it in the fridge and came back to watch that cartoon of his.
Even I fucking shed a tear when that lion, Mufasa, died. Who shows kids such stuff?
Then Jake suggested we watch some sports channel, and with his luck, they had hockey reruns.
My heart almost burst with pride that he shared my love for the sport and already played it with a professional coach. I had to grit my teeth when he mentioned Alex and their Sunday trips to the ice rink. Although he didn't speak much about him, only that he was an okay guy, whatever the fuck that meant, no way in hell was this guy ever sharing any kind of experiences with my child.
He better stay away from what belonged to me.
Jake rested his cheek on my shoulder and a chuckle escaped my mouth at the sight, my little buddy. I could envision a future full of fishing trips, shooting ranges, and hockey games. A father-son relationship.
Vivian couldn't have given me a greater gift than this tiny, little person. I loved him from the first glance, just like his mother.
Sliding my hands under his back, I picked him up and walked to his room as he drowsily rasped, “Daddy, you’ll be here tomorrow?” It physically hurt me to hear fear in his voice, and I hugged him closer, kissing his head.
“Of course, buddy. I won’t go away anymore.” I put him on the bed, and changed him into pajamas while he was half-awake but complaining. Then his head hit the pillow, and he was out instantly, just like me in my old life.
Prison changed that habit quickly, because you never knew who dared to kill you or when. I had to be a light sleeper for that.
Covering him with a blanket, I watched him for a few minutes as his chest rose and fell peacefully, without a care in the world, and I vowed to myself that he’d always have this.
A peaceful life where the grime of my world wouldn't touch him.
Where he wouldn't have to go through the same hell I’d experienced.
And then I prayed to God for the first time in a long while, asking to be able to keep this vow.
I would kill for Vivian.
But for Jake, I’d destroy everyone and then some.
A slight shaking woke me up. When my eyes snapped open, I almost screamed in surprise as Dominic appeared in front of me, his hand on my arm, distaste clear on his face.
“We’ve landed.” His gruff voice was joyful as usual.
Not.
Blinking a few times in confusion, I straightened in my seat, the blanket along with the pillow falling to the floor as I ran my fingers through my hair, hoping it didn't look like a rat’s nest. “But… I was in the cockpit.”
Dominic gave me an odd look, and for a second amusement flashed in his eyes, but it was quickly replaced with indifference. “You don’t say?”
