I understood his pain through all the years. Years I either spent with my grandmother in Italy, or in boarding schools, where no one ever cared about me. I knew my dad loved me. It wasn't about that, and despite his profession, he was a good man with morals.
Well, as much as he could have, being the Cosa Nostra’s don. But his ignorance of my desires, hopes, and dreams? Right in that moment, it killed me, and the pain threatened to break my already shattered heart.
“Mom died ten years ago, Dad.” His breath hitched. “How long would you punish me for the mistake of another man?” Without waiting for his reply, I disconnected our phone call and let the tears slide down my cheeks.
I darted outside to the small forest inside the high walls, but I couldn't admire the beauty. My eyes were blurry from the tears as sobs overtook me.
I wanted to live freely and enjoy my life as a normal teenager, a young woman. Why was it wrong? Why were my dreams crushed because of the lifestyle my parents led? Why couldn't my dad understand all this without breaking my heart?
Why did I have to sacrifice my life in order to make him happy? What about me?
“Didn’t even have to sneak inside the building. The prey came out by herself.” The unfamiliar voice from behind me sounded odd. It was enough to stop my hysterics, but before I could turn to see who it was, out of nowhere, I was hit on the back of my head. The pain overwhelmed my senses as a cold cloth pressed against my mouth, and then everything went blank.
Present
Three months ago
Rosa
“Don't go too far, sweetie! ” Sapphire yelled to Kristina, who happily bounced around the big playground in the park, soaking up all the attention from the kids and “new adventures,” as she called them. To Sapphire’s and my surprise, the whole playground had aPirates of the Caribbeantheme with ships painted brown, golden hooks, ropes to swing on, and some treasures to play with. The sandbox had several makeshift sharks and stairs above to play on, so whoever fell inside would be ‘eaten’ alive. Truth be told, had I been a kid myself, I’d probably go nuts in there as well. Kristina blew Sapphire a kiss accompanied by a wink. The kid was as cocky as her dad. Although, with her black hair and sapphire eyes, she was a little angel who I couldn't help but want to hug and smother with kisses.
The playground was full of excited kids who attacked the ship as though it was real and could take them away from here.
I could relate, really.
The soft New York breeze touched my heated skin and I welcomed it, enjoying my stay in this city. It had been a long time since I’d been here, and it was as beautiful as I remembered.
Crowded streets, magnificent buildings, fashion shows, theaters, and cuisine. People who treasured creativity and intellectuality always drove forward, trying to accomplish things. It didn't mean other places in the world didn't have the same tempo and atmosphere, but no place ever felt like home, or like I belonged.
Except New York.
One of the reasons Frank Sinatra’s “New York, New York” played through my headphones as I enjoyed the delicious taste of a chocolate brownie filled with almonds. You could call me a sentimental sap.
"Mama, look!" Kristina shouted as she climbed up on the ship, waved her hands, and jumped on the rope as a gasp left Sapphire’s mouth. She stood up, clenching her hand to her chest, and walked to where Kristina bounced up and down, clearly having a blast after scaring her mama bear shitless.
"Baby girl, this is for older kids. Don't do it again." The kid rolled her eyes and whispered something to her mother.
I sat near Juanita, who was knitting some shit on the bench, and I couldn't hear how Kristina justified her actions. However, it allowed me more time to study Sapphire. She was a stunning woman with the bluest eyes I’d ever seen and long, wavy, mocha hair. Add to it an hourglass figure, and it explained why Damian went nuts for her.
Well that, and her loving him even though he was Sociopath. Not many women could claim that, I imagined.
Sapphire shook her head and slowly walked back. Her eyes noticed me as I popped another brownie into my mouth, and asked, "Didn't you plan to finish the series?"
During the five years she had been in witness protection, the girl became a romance writer and was the one whose books I loved to read. She was none other than S. Victoria Fray. When my eyes found the bookshelf with her latest novel in print copies, the one that was about to hit the bookstores in a couple of months, needless to say, I attacked it like a freaking crazy person. Reading was life for me, seriously. Well… that and food.
And dancing.
I loved to dance and couldn't wait for this nightmare to finally be over so I could enroll in some classes to learn it professionally.
I sounded like a lazy ass, but what else could a girl do when she was on the run from the mafia, had a sociopath for a honorary brother, and couldn't live a carefree life?
Shrugging, I answered, "I grew bored, decided to hunt you down. Nice playground." Yeah, me getting bored with the book wasn't the case. The truth was, after the whole incident that happened to me five years ago, I couldn't stay alone at the house or anywhere else. Immediately, nightmares would creep in with all the hands and voices from the past. I hated my weakness, hated not being over it. I always tried to reason with myself.
No one knew the full truth of what happened to me. They assumed, but if only they knew. Damian would have probably killed all those people straightaway. However, I had people around me who suffered way more, and they stayed strong.
The guilt sometimes ate me alive, not that I shared it with anyone, ever.
"Yeah, Kristina is excited." Her loud squeals of joy caused peals of laughter from all three of us.
