She’s amused, but honestly, I question how she dates. Maybe that’s why she and Myro didn’t come clean for so long. Dating means something different to her.
“So you’re together. That’s what you’re saying.” There’s no question in her statement.
“Yes,” I confirm.
“I’m guessing that this isn’t casual… boyfriends.”
“Casual boyfriends. Man, I can’t keep up with you. Do you have your own definitions for labels or what?”
She huffs. “Are you aiming for marriage? Family? A forever commitment?”
“Isn’t that the reason to date someone?”
“No. It can be casual.”
“I think you’re using words to describe what I call hooking up, which, by definition, is emotionless and stringless. It’s transactional pleasure.”
“Yes, we’re using different terms. Now that we’re on the same page… answer my question.”
“I already did. The only reason to commit to someone at all, even in the first step of boyfriends, is with the intent to make a life together.”
“Is Brek on the same page?”
I’m about to say yes when I think that perhaps he uses words much like hers. Maybe his idea of boyfriends isn’t with the intention of reaching forever together.
“You haven’t had that conversation,” Jessica guesses.
“I haven’t, but I suppose only because it didn’t occur to me that he doesn’t think about these things in the same way I do.”
“I think he might,” Jessica says. “I’ve observed that guys love to pretend they’re all about being a player, but in reality, it’s women who prefer to keep it casual. My besties, for example. With the exception of Haze, maybe, none of them has ever wanted casual. Briar and Levis have been planning a family since they were six. Briar more than Levis, but still. Oakley has always wanted to be the center of someone’s world.”
“He certainly got that.”
She snorts. “Haze… I think he spent so longnotwanting anything because anything he wanted might cause his family to turn their bullying onto him that he didn’t actually know what he wanted. Thus, the misunderstanding and whatever with Imry at first.”
“And Brek?”
Jessica shakes her head. “Has he told you about his parents?”
“I’ve gleaned some things over the last couple of years, but he doesn’t seem interested in talking about them, and I’m not about to force it.”
She inclines her head. “Good. Don’t. Suffice it to say, he’s not had a great home life. No matter what he did, he was never good enough. The Hollerans pride themselves on being the best at everything, and Brek rarely comes out first. He does reallyfucking well at everything he puts his mind to, but there’s usually someone who manages to outdo him, which means he’s never good enough for his parents.”
I frown. “That’s shit. They should be fed to the pig.”
Jessica smirks. She doesn’t realize I’m serious. Bruno will eat anything, except shoes. He doesn’t like shoes. “What has he told you about… himself?”
“Do you think we sit in silence?” I ask.
She rolls her eyes. “So he told you he’s aroace?”
“Demiromantic and graysexual. Yes.”
I’m relieved when she smiles. “Then I think you know why Brek never truly thought about a future outside of the six of us. Being aromantic, for him, meant he didn’t need or want a partner. He wanted his best friends.”
“I’m pretty confident that he wants to be with me.”
“He does,” she agrees. Her eyes meet mine, and she smiles. “I think being with you woke something up inside him. It’s made him rethink how he sees his future.”
