“Four generations,” I correct. “And why?”
“I’ve always anticipated that they’d come around once I had kids, but that apparently didn’t entice them as much as great-grandkids.”
“They didn’t come back for Emerson,” I say, frowning.
“You know, in a way, I think they consider Emmy their great-grandkid, too. Just as you consider him your nephew. We’ve always worked in age brackets over actual generations.”
“Huh. You think they’re going to stay?”
Dad shakes his head. He pulls the empty bottle away and sets it aside. I watch as he adjusts Axl in his hold so he can pat his back to get any air bubbles out.
“To be honest, I don’t know. I think it’s weird that they’re talking about moving home. They didn’t come home when I rebuilt this entire estate. They didn’t come home when I left your mother and brought my six kids here to raise. They didn’t come home when Noaz moved home, when they got married, or when they brought Emerson home. But they’re coming home now.” He shakes his head. “I don’t know if it’s a coincidence with Axl’s birth or something else.”
“You sound… annoyed.”
He meets my eye. “My parents are only marginally better than your mother. They weren’t… abusive. But they were neglectful of my brothers almost as soon as Arath was born. Once Myro was born and they saw how close my brothers were to my kids in age, how much my brothers wanted to be around me and you kids, they stopped parenting. It’s like they handed my brothers to me and relieved themselves of their parenting duties.”
“You’re resentful,” I correct.
“A little. Not because I didn’t want my brothers around, but they deserved better than that. They deserved their actual parents.”
“I think they had a better parent in you than they would have with your parents. You wanted them around. They probably already felt your parentsnotwanting them around.”
Dad scowls. I rarely see Dad scowl, so I know he’sreallyannoyed.
“Whatever they come home for, we all know they’re not our immediate family, Dad. My brothers know that. Your brothers know that. They don’t get to move home and suddenly become the ones everyone loves. That’s always going to be you.”
Dad meets my eye, and I think I hit on what was bothering him.
“You’re Granddad. No one can take that from you. Not for Axl and not for Emerson.”
A smile touches his lips, and he lowers his eyes. Timing is everything, and Axl lets out a loud belch. Apparently, we’re finished with the sentimental shit.
16
BREK
My room facesthe back of the property. I have a beautiful view of the lake in the distance, surrounded by grass and the glass monstrosity that is the office structure. I say it’s a monstrosity, but really, it’s elegant, modern, and kind of unique. Even though it’s very obviously from this generation, it still somehow blends in with the environment.
Perhaps it’s the windows. They reflect like mirrors, which means the building can serve as a continuation of the gardens to the right, the lake to the left, and the grassy yard between them and the big house.
I’m on the third floor in one of the empty, unused rooms facing the front of the house. At least I believe it’s unused. The door was open, and it appeared too neat to be used regularly.
I chose this room because there’s no chance someone is going to stumble upon me watching. I’m not on the first floor, where I can be seen if someone looks at the window. No one is going to pay attention to the third floor because it’s largely vacant.
Lorissa is leaving today. Everyone is gathered outside to say goodbye. I primarily watch Voss with Axl in his hold. He always has Axl close. I don’t understand why, but seeing him so attentive to his kid makes me feel all warm and… yeah.
Probably because I never felt that warmth or sense of importance from my family.
I’m a little surprised to find Honey Bee hugging Lorissa several times. She even wipes her eyes. Is she actually sad? I didn’t expect that. Then again, as I’m staring at everyone outside, I realize Lorissa is the only other girl. Honey Bee is surrounded by guys. All of Jalon’s sons. His brothers. Her best friends. Even the two kids—everyone is a guy.
Huh. I wonder if that bothers her. Is that why she and Lorissa were friends? Does she miss having girlfriends? Wait. Did she have girlfriends in college? In school? At work?
How oblivious am I?
I suppose my reason for avoiding Lorissa is apparent and expected. I was threatened by her presence. My brain has always been slightly convinced that Voss is going to decide that Axl needs both his parents to have a happy home.
It’s not that I don’t understand what he says about parenting. Coming from a home where I was never good enough to earn my parents’ approval or praise—which led to a lonely, isolated, and bitter childhood home—I agree that it doesn’t truly matter how many parents someone has. Biological parents, single parents, multiple parents, relatives acting as parents, foster parents—relation to the kid doesn’t matter. Literally everything else does far more than genetics.
