I stare at her dumbly. Feeding time? It’s still fucking dark out and I’m not hungry.
She must take pity on me since she holds up Axl’s bottle. Oh. Right. My baby.
I groan, letting my head fall back. I thought I could do this without a nanny, but I don’t think I’m cut out for single dadding.
“Voss,” Isabel says again. “Would you like me to feed him?”
“No, it’s okay,” I say as I struggle to make myself move. She gives me a solid several minutes and doesn’t ask again until it’s clear I’m not moving.
“I promise I won’t leave this room with him,” she says. “I’ll feed him, burp him, change him, and make sure he’s fast asleep. Promise.”
Only because I’m feeling a little sleep drunk do I nod. “Thank you. You’re getting a raise.”
I catch her smile as I roll back over to curl back in Brek’s arms. He holds me close but doesn’t seem to have woken up. Maybe he’s exhausted too.
Once again, I wake up what feels like minutes after I fell asleep. The room is dim. I’m not sure what wakes me until I hear Axl begin to cry again. A sound that is very unfamiliar to Brek, since he jerks awake and sits up.
“Just Axl,” I assure him as I kick my feet from under the covers. “Go back to sleep.”
Brek doesn’t move. I’m not sure he’s entirely awake.
Axl is right where I left him. There’s a sticky note on the back of the bassinet that has a short report with times.
2:35 began feeding.
2:59 finished feeding. Drank all three ounces.
3:13 burped well. Little spit up. No mess.
3:18 changed diaper. Only wet.
3:25 back in bassinet fast asleep.
Mary Sue
I sigh as I rock Axl gently. She needs a fucking bonus at the very least. This is far out of her duties. I kiss the top of Axl’s head and glance at the clock. He finished his last bottle at three. He’s not due until six. The clock beside the bed says there’s still half an hour until feeding.
“Are you hungry now?” I ask quietly as I rub his back. He’s no longer crying. Not even fussing. Hell, I think he fell asleep again. “You just want Daddy, huh? Fine, but we’re going back to bed.”
I climb back into bed with Brek. He immediately curls against me until he feels Axl. Picking his head up, he looks at my newborn for a minute.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked.”
He sighs and tucks his face into my neck. His body curls around me again. Brek doesn’t respond to my words, but I nearly get sappy when he rests his hand on Axl’s back. Holy fuck. God, why do I feel like I can’t catch my breath?
I don’t fall back asleep. Maybe because I’m concerned that the way my heart races will bother Axl.
“Does Lorissa know you’re in here with Axl?” Brek asks. The question sounds familiar. Has he asked that before?
“I don’t know.” Well, that sounds familiar too. We’ve had this conversation already. Probably when I was barely awake. “Do you want me to send her a text?” As the question comes out of my mouth, I realize I didn’t bring my phone with me. I brought my baby and whatever he might need. My needs were not important.
This is parenthood, isn’t it?
“You don’t think she’s going to be upset?” Brek asks.
“Why would she?”
“He’s her baby, right? And you…”
