I laugh again. “I enjoy finding everyone’s secrets and exposing them.”
Brek rolls his eyes. “You like to ruin people.”
“Think about it. If you’ve truly lived a good life like so many people insist they have, then there’s nothing to find, right?”
He tilts his head as he considers this. “I guess not.”
“Which means when I find something on these so-calledgoodcitizens, I’m proving they’re not as holy as they loudly claim to be. In which case, they deserve to be exposed.”
“Because they’ve hurt people,” he interprets.
“That’s usually what it comes down to. For me, anyway. To be honest, I don’t give a shit about tax evasion or whether you’ve changed your name. Whatever. Most people have a skeleton in their closet they’re trying to hide. Like all these radically conservative politicians who frequent Thrustr for hookups. Get bent, buddy.”
Brek snorts.
“What would I find if I looked into you, Albrecht?” I tease.
He gives me an amused look. “A very boring life.”
I wouldn’t call it boring. I also don’t tell him I’ve already done a thorough investigation of him. And not just him, but all his friends too. If we were letting them into our lives and this close to all our secrets, we needed to be prepared.
Needless to say, I didn’t find anything worth noting. Oakley, Jessica, and Levis came from really great families who worked hard and loved their kids. Briar’s family was… interesting, but I wouldn’t classify anything I found as overly concerning. Hismom needs a lesson on kindness, but she acts out of emotion, and it’s not inherentlybad,even if morally wrong.
Haze’s family? Well… let’s just say that daddy needed a lesson in control. When no one’s looking, Frankie is going to get the same lesson. Dane? I’m letting him live his scandalous life in peace for now. One toe out of line, though, and he’s also going to get taught a fucking lesson.
Brek’s family, though. It’s a matter of not being great parents. Which arguably means they’re not great people. However, if I take the personal connection to Brek away, it’s a gray area. They weren’t good parents, but does that mean they’re shit people? They’re not breaking the law. They’re not beating or neglecting their kid. They haven’t killed anyone, not even a goldfish.
They simply should have taken some parenting classes or counseling or something and learned how not to make their son feel like he’s never good enough. That the quantity of their love is based on his success as defined by them.
They’re shitty parents. They’re not evil. If I didn’t have a personal connection to Brek and we received a contract to kill one or both of them, I’d wave it off. It’s far too gray.
Though with Brek sitting across from me, with all his emotions and childhood trauma shut away, I feel very differently. At the absolute fucking least, I’d like to run them both over with a golf cart.
2
BREK
Lorissa is exactlythe kind of woman I imagine the Van Doren sons with. I think she has some Caribbean blood in her. While she’s not pale white like I am, she’s also not beautifully bronzed like Honey Bee. There’s certainly something island-y in her heritage.
She’s beautiful. Her smile is very model-like. Especially when she’s wearing makeup. The way she frames her lips in red lipstick is sensual. The dark framing of her eyes with black liner makes me think of a glamorous showgirl.
Her hair is short now. I heard her say that long hair is too difficult to keep up with when she’s fat with a baby since she’s always sweaty and her long hair was only adding to it.
Speaking of being fat with a baby, she’s such a stunning pregnant woman. I could see her on magazine covers. In commercials. She’s just so… elegant.
Her smile makes me blink from my thoughts. Jalon is handing her a teacup with a saucer. Voss is sitting beside her, his hand on her round stomach.
My gut twists. I feel so stupid that my stomach feels sick at seeing this domestic moment between them. I mean, of course, Voss is excited about his baby. Of course, Jalon is excited about his grandson. It’s his first.
Well, it’s his first in actual biology. Emerson might be his nephew, but I’ve heard Uncle Noaz and Briar refer to him as Grandpa Jalon to their son since Emmy’s birth. Relationships are what you make them. There aren’t any mandatory rules that need to be followed.
Even if there were, the Van Dorens make their own rules.
Lorissa looks at Voss. He might have said something, he’s sitting at such an angle that I can’t see his face, but the smile she gives him makes my chest hurt. The ache tightens when he takes her hand in his and kisses her forehead.
I turn and walk away. I’m ridiculous. I have no reason to be upset about their being together. She’s having Voss’ baby, for fuck’s sake. Why am I feeling so weird about it?
Taking a breath, I let my feet absently lead me where they want to go. Not for the first time, I wonder if I should move out. I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere.
