“You’ve always referenced girls when talking about relationships and hookups,” he points out.
“I kissed my best friend and declared that I was in love with him,” I remind him. “Remember? Your brother was going to kill me. Literally.”
Voss nods. “Yes, but that was derived from something specific emotionally. No?”
I think about it and then shrug. “I don’t know. I suppose so.”
He studies me, and I can practically see his mind whirring.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
“I think maybe I had you pegged wrong.”
“No pegging has happened,” I say.
He snorts but doesn’t take the bait to lighten the mood. I’m not sure I want to know what he’s thinking, but then again, it’s so clear that he’s thinkingsomething.“Tell me.”
Voss shakes his head. “No. You like?—”
“Whatever you’re thinking isn’t even on my radar, so just tell me what you’re thinking. Something just occurred to you, and I want to know.”
“I was just thinking that maybe you’re not straight or bisexual. You’re incredibly aloof when it comes to gender. I think perhaps you align more closely with pansexuality.”
“All genders,” I note.
“Indifferent to gender,” Voss says. “Bisexual people tend to have a leaning. Often, it’s one way more than another, though they acknowledge and embrace being attracted to both. Pansexual is more or less indifferent to gender. It often encompasses genders outside male and female.”
“Like…”
“Like Uncle Noaz—nonbinary, for example.”
“Yeah, Uncle Noaz is stunning,” I agree. “Seriously, one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.”
He grins. “I know. But Uncle Noaz isn’t one gender. Not male or female. They don’t even call themselves nonbinary. They say they’re gender fluid.”
“Oh.”
“You’re indifferent to their gender, too, aren’t you?”
“Uh… yeah, I guess. I don’t know that it’d even occur to me to… I’m not sure what I’m trying to say.”
Voss chuckles. “Just so you know, I’m not labeling you. It kind of clicked when you recounted the events with Oakley. It wasn’t defensive. It wasn’t embarrassing. It wasn’t anything but a general note. That’s how you are with everyone. I don’t think your attraction is conditional on their gender at all.”
“You think it’s based on what? My libido that doesn’t know what it wants?”
He snorts. “No. I think it’s just who you are, and there doesn’t need to be an explanation as to why.”
“Good. I’m not sure I want to think of an explanation.”
“You don’t have to claim pansexuality, you know. It was really just something that snapped together in my mind.”
I shake my head. “I’m not concerned about it. You’re right, anyway. My past has been mostly women, but not because I sought them out. They sought me out. I don’t think I’d have reacted differently if men had sought me out more. Or gender fluid, nonbinary, transgender—whatever. You’re right. I’m pretty open to whatever. Not that it matters since I don’t getattractedin the expected definition of the word anyway.”
“You’re pretty amazing, Brek.”
“Right.” I snort, rolling my eyes.
“You are. I think you’ve lived too long without someone pointing it out.” He kisses me, and I close my eyes again. “I’m going to remind you daily. Be ready for compliments, sunshine.”
