“Jesus, Alycia…” I whisper, brushing my thumb under the strap on her shoulder. “You’re beautiful.”
Her breath shudders out of her as she reaches up, grabs a fistful of my hair, and pulls me down into another deep kiss. When her legs slide around my hips, drawing me flush against her, the soft moan she gives me is enough to make every part of me vow to never let her fear anything here again. Her fingers trace my jaw, my cheek, my mouth—touches like confessions, soft and shaking.
“I love you,” she whispers again onto my lips. “I love you.”
I kiss her like those words are the first ones I’ve ever understood.
Chapter Thirty-Five
Alycia
Kyle kisses me like he’s trying to teach my body a language I’ve spent years pretending I didn’t need to learn. Slow and steady, but unbearably sure, like he knows exactly how close I am to unraveling, and he’s asking me to fall apart anyway. His lips move with deliberate tenderness that makes my chest ache. Every brush of his mouth feels like a vow I never asked for but desperately want. His weight settles above me, not crushing, but just enough to let me know he’s real and here and not walking away this time.
I slide my hands up his torso, palms tracing the ridges of muscle beneath his shirt, feeling the steady tremor in him that mirrors my own. His breath catches when I trace the dip between his ribs, and the sound goes straight through me.
He lifts his forehead to mine, our breaths mingling, lips brushing my mouth between each word. “I know you’re scared. I’ve got you.”
His hands skim slowly up my sides, thumbsbrushing the edge of my bra where fabric meets skin. He moves with unbearable gentleness, giving me every second I need to pull away. I don’t. I arch into him instead, my breath stuttering as his fingers slide higher.
“Kyle…” His name escapes me like a plea.
He lifts his forehead to mine, breathing with me for a moment, steadying both of us. “Tell me if anything isn’t okay.”
“It is,” I whisper. “It’s more than okay.”
Something small and fragile loosens inside me enough to let my hands slip down to the waistband of his sweats, enough to let the truth pull me forward instead of back. His hand slides up my spine until his fingers find the clasp of my bra. It gives beneath his touch, and the straps fall away from my shoulders. Cool air skims over my skin, but his hands are warm when they slide forward to cup me, palms molding carefully around the soft weight of my breasts. His thumb brushes lightly over a sensitive peak, exploring the weight of me like he’s learning every inch for the first time. A small, involuntary sound breaks from my throat as his thumb makes another pass. A bolt of heat shoots through me so sharply that my back arches off the couch.
“God,” he breathes, his voice breaking as his thumbs circle again, firmer this time. “You’re incredible.”
He lowers his mouth to my neck, lips brushing the frantic pulse there. Then, lower, along the slope of my collarbone, his tongue sweeps in a slow circle aroundmy nipple before drawing it gently between his lips. The moan that tears out of me feels like it comes from somewhere I’ve never let anyone touch.
“Kyle—” My fingers tangle in his hair, holding him there without meaning to.
The soft pull makes him groan against my skin, the vibration sinking straight through me. He kisses down my stomach, his hands smoothing down my hips as he traces the lines of my body. When he reaches the button of my jeans, he presses a shaky kiss to my hipbone.
“Is this okay?” he murmurs, fingers brushing the denim.
“Please.” My breath leaves me in a gasp as he strokes his thumb again, slow circles that tighten every muscle in my stomach.
He unbuttons them slowly, sliding the zipper down with careful deliberation. When his knuckles brush the inside of my thigh, my breath catches so hard I hear it in the quiet room. He eases the jeans down my legs, kissing my knee, then the inside of my calf, his hands steady despite the tremor in his arms. I reach for him, pulling him up by the collar of his shirt until our mouths meet again.
“It’s not enough,” I whisper into the kiss, lips trembling.
A shudder runs visibly through him. His forehead drops to mine, eyes squeezed shut like he’s holding something back. He reaches toward the side table without looking, opening the drawer andfinding a condom. He holds the foil packet between his fingers as if it's something fragile.
“I got these a while ago,” he says softly. “Didn’t know if you’d ever… but I wanted to be ready.”
I cup his cheek, emotion swelling painfully in my chest. “Kyle, I want you.”
He strips out of his sweats and boxers, and even with his body bare, he hesitates, giving me a chance to look away. I take him in, hungry and unafraid, watching every breath he takes as he rolls the condom on. Then he settles over me again, skin to skin, warmth sinking deep.
“Are you sure?” he whispers, brushing his nose along mine.
“Yes.”
He sinks into me so slowly I feel every inch of him, his every trembling breath hot against my cheek as he sinks deeper. My nails bite into his shoulders, a sharp gasp breaking from my lips as my body adjusts around him.
“Jesus…” he breathes, forehead dropping to my shoulder. “Alycia…”
