“Alycia?”
Janine steps inside before I can answer, her expression tight with concern rather than reprimand. She closes the door gently behind her, and the simple care in that movement nearly undoes me all over again.
“I saw the livestream,” she says quietly, crossing the room with a pace that feels more like checking on a hurt friend than a subordinate. “And I wanted to make sure you— Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.” The lie barely has a voice, barely makes it past the strain in my throat.
Her gaze softens with a weight that makes it clear she sees through every layer of the façade I’m trying to hold. “That’s the one truthful answer I knew I would not get.”
I swallow hard, my voice fraying as I try to force steadiness into it. “It’s just fallout when a narrative twists in a direction you don’t want it to. I’ll handle it.”
Her brows pull together, a crease of worry cutting through her usual pragmatism. “Alycia, this isn’t just a narrative. Kyle didn’t just misspeak. He walked away on camera. That was genuine emotion there, and we both know it wasn’t one-sided.”
“I’ll clean it up,” I whisper, fear of everyonefinding out the truth recoiling in my stomach. “I know what needs to be done.”
“That’s not why I’m here.” Her voice is gentle but unyielding, like she’s trying to give me space without letting me fall off a ledge I don’t recognize I’m standing on. “What happened out there?”
For one impossible second, I almost tell her everything—the car ride, the way he asked me if it had been real, the lie I fed him to protect myself, the way his face collapsed right before he turned away. The truth sits in my throat like something hot and heavy, clawing upward, but all that comes out is a breath that shakes too visibly for me to pretend she didn’t see it.
“I lost control of something I should never have let get this personal.”
Janine listens quietly, the silence heavy with understanding. She nods once, not judgmental, not accusing, just sad for me in a way that scrapes against a part of me I’ve kept stonewalled for years.
“I don’t know what’s happening between you two, but I know what a breaking point looks like. And you’re right at the edge of one.”
“I’m handling it,” I manage, though the words wobble painfully. “I won’t let this affect my work.”
She gives me a look so gentle it almost hurts. “Alycia… you’re allowed to ask for help.”
The pressure behind my eyes surges again, sharp and hot, and I clench my fists beneath the desk, nails biting into my palms just to keep myself upright. “I made this mess, so I’ll fixit.”
“All right.” Janine’s shoulders lower with a soft exhale. “Just… promise me you won’t drown trying to save a ship that doesn’t need saving.”
I can’t promise her that, but I offer the only thing I can manage. “I’ll do my job.”
She studies me for another long moment before nodding and stepping back toward the door. “If anything changes, I want to hear it from you first.”
She reiterates it for the second time, causing my throat to tighten around a truth I still can’t say. “I understand.”
She hesitates, almost reaches for the door handle twice, then finally slips out, closing the door with a quiet click that lands like a hollow echo in my chest. The moment she’s gone, the silence folds around me again, and the tears I’d barely held back spill over in a single unstoppable rush.
I don’t get a moment of reprieve before my phone rings. The shrill tone slices through the room and me, and for a moment, I can’t move. My hand eventually closes around the phone, more from instinct than control.”
“Hey, babe.” Maria’s voice floods the line, gentle in a way that breaks me open even faster. “Are you okay? We saw the livestream…. What happened?”
I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.
“Alycia?” she tries again.
“I-I don’t…” I swallow hard, but the tightness in my throat doesn’t budge. “I don’t know how to fix this.”
“Start from the beginning,” she says softly. “Tell me what you’re holding on to.”
I curl forward in my chair, my free hand gripping my ribs, like maybe if I hold myself tightly enough, I’ll keep from falling apart completely. “I told him it wasn’t real. I told him nothing between us meant anything outside of work. I told him that putting distance between us was the smart choice.”
“And?” she asks gently.
“I lied to him, Maria. I lied straight to his face. I said I didn’t want him, and he believed me because I made him believe me.”
