“No, Britt.” I snicker, her crazy always bursting through at just the right time to help recenter me and make me focus. “I know you’d like to think that in a pastlife, you were once one of the members of RUN DMC, but I assure you, you were not.”
She cocks her head to the side, thinking. “Maybe TLC? I’d definitely fit in with those chicks. Especially that crazy one that burned her boyfriend’s house down.”
“Yea I could see it.” CJ answers.
I drop my head, shaking it while I pick at the flowers in front of me. Britt comes from around the other side of the table and bumps my hip lightly.
“Take a breath, beauty, we’re going to get through this.”
I scoff. “Thanks for not saying ‘lighten up’ like Jackson told me. He almost wound up sleeping at your house that night.”
She laughs. “Nope. Not it. He’s your problem now, absolutely no backsies!”
I smile and my eyes get glassy, the table and the flowers losing focus. Britt dips down putting her face in my line of sight. “Hey, what’s going on? Talk to me.”
I sniff and wipe the lone tear that has escaped. Shaking my head, I say “Nothing. I’m just overwhelmed. I feel, well, I don’t know what I feel. Scared but excited. Happy but worried. I need this day to be perfect and so far, things aren’t what I thought they would be.”
She scrunches her face. “You’re putting too much pressure on the day, Francesca.” When I try to correct her, she continues. “No, I get it. You’ve imagined what this day looks like for years, and pictured Jackson standing next to you.” She grins. “You forget we’ve spent many nights dreaming of just this.” She brushes the hair off my shoulder, “but you have to let go of any expectations of the day and focus on your marriage. Yes, the day is wonderful, and you guys are on top of the world, but guess what? You wake up the next day, and nothing is different. You’ll still run LPR. He’s still going to go to practice. And then real life will throw things at you and how you handled the one day won’t matter, but how you handle the many days that follow, those arewhat matter.”
I nod, letting her words sink in. She’s right but I can’t relent just yet.
“But I should still be allowed one perfect day.”
“And you’ll get it. But the ones that follow, and what you do with them, will be the most important ones.”
She kisses my cheek just as we hear, “How’s this?” Aunt Shannon turns around with a beautiful bouquet of a giant sunflower with babies breath wrapped around the center flower, and white roses filing in the remaining sections.
“It’s gorgeous.” My eyes well with tears once again and the girls all come rushing to my side. “I’m fine, I’m fine! I’m happy! Really!” We hug for a moment and then dive in and begin trying out different ribbon.
“Girl, we are here for you! We’re going to make this wedding your bitch!”
I laugh at her nonsense, but I can’t help the lingering thoughts. I’m pretending I’m fine when I’m not, and I know it. My friends are too caught up to know the difference.
And I’m too caught up in trying to make perfection a reality, that I’m missing making the memories which will linger for the rest of our lives.
ten
JACKSON
Ipull into our driveway, noting a string of lights has gone out along the side of the garage. Surprised the others are still lit because whenone goes out, they all go out, I make a mental note to hang a new set tomorrow. I open the front door and walk into our house, dropping my football bag at the corner of the room. I did end up biting the bullet and sent a text to Adam asking to talk over coffee in the morning. He responded back with a raised eyebrow and then a threat of ‘hurt her? I kill you.’ I assured him it was nothing like that, and he agreed to meet up.
“Don’t leave that dirty equipment right there for me to smell and trip over when I leave the house!” she yells out. I look up and catch her at the stove. She hasn’t turned around, just yelled at me, keeping her back to me, stirring what smells like spaghetti sauce. She got the homemade sauce recipe from her mom and it’s to die for.
But she looks tense.
Time to go love on my girl.
I turn my hat backwards, come up behind her quietly and wrap my arms around her. “How was your day?” I speak into her ear.
“Fine.” She snaps out.
Uh oh, not fine at all.
I pull her flush against me and grind against her ass, holding her hips tight as I bite the spot behind her ear that always makes her forget her own name.
And nothing. She continues stirring the sauce in the pot like I’m not even touching her.
“Are you sure?” I ask, stepping away carefully. I’m in the danger zone right now.
