He lowers me down.
The chains come off, metal clattering against the floor below as he tosses them aside. Before I can move, his hands are already there, fastening a collar around my neck.
“If you try to say another word,” he says, “you will get electroshocked.” He chuckles softly. “Do you understand?”
“Yes,” I say, stupid and naive.
The collar answers for him.
Electricity rips through my neck, burning my skin and flooding my spine. My body jerks as the shock tears me apart from the inside. I slide down onto the mattress, muscles seizing, teeth chattering, my whole body shaking as the pain runs through my body.
He laughs.
He climbs on top of me, his weight pressing the air from my lungs.
“You are my pet now, Emily,” he says. “My whole life, I get whatever the fuck I want, and you are the only thing I want now.”
He lowers himself onto my chest. His hands move slowly, gliding over my skin, while his fingers trace down my torso, then close around my breasts, squeezing, claiming me as his.
He takes my hand and presses it into his hair.
“Touch it,” he chuckles. “Loveme.”
I want to cry. I want to shove him away. My arms feel useless, my body still humming with pain. The shock still stays locked beneath my skin like a warning that never leaves.
So I comply.
My fingers sink into his hair. I move them slowly, brushing through it, up and down, just enough until he growls.
His arms wrap around me, pinning me down, holding me so tightly I can’t move. My body goes rigid beneath him.
“I won’t let anyone touch you,” he whispers. “I will make sure you love onlyme.”
My heart slams against my ribs, panicked. Pain spreads through my chest. Silent tears slide from the corners of my eyes, soaking into the mattress beneath my head.
He is destroying me.
And I am still here, breathing, letting him take every piece of me.
I know this feeling. I talked about it so many times.
It’s the feeling of having no way out.
The moment when you are trapped between the need to love someone and the need to let them go, you are trapped. When he lets me touch him, when this big, nasty monster needs my love, needs me to fix him, it makes me feel wanted.
Feeling sinks into my bones.
Even though I know he takes every last piece of my will, the face he wears gives me something dangerous.Zayne’s face.Gives me a sense of safety in a way that hurts. It feels like a fragment of home, like maybe I can still have him. Not Zeke,Zayne.
Even though he is nothim.
I find Zayne inside Zeke. I cling to him. I want to love someone. I want to be loved by Zayne, even knowing he wants to kill me.
If I want the torture to stop, I have to let myself go.
I came to Eureka Springs for answers. This case is supposed to bring closure. Families wait for answers about the people whose lives they took. Instead, it gives them nothing but more questions. And now I am trapped, unable to answer any of them.
I hate myself for it.
