Does that make me a monster?
I sure hope not, but even if it did, I can’t help how I feel.
The only thing that really worries me is the fact that one of them will be a murderer. What if they get caught? What if theygo to jail and I never see them again? What if they take Addison away because of it?
I make it into my room and let the door fall closed. Pressing my back to the cool wood, I force myself to breathe.
Vince asked me to trust him to take care of us, to protect us, and I do. Oli said that they want me to learn to lean on them and trust them, and it might be stupid, but damn it, I do.
Whatever they want to do with him, I don’t care.
“Kat.” The voice on the other side of the door startles me out of my thoughts, and it takes me a moment to realize it’s Des.
I take a deep breath and try to force a calm I don’t really feel as I turn the knob and pull the door open, only to find it’s not just Des, but Oliver too.
“Hey, Kitten, are you okay?” Des’s voice is soft, and while they both look like they want to reach for me, they remain where they are, standing in the hall as if waiting for me to invite them in.
I want to.
I’d much rather have them here with me than be alone, but I can’t.
Am I okay?
His question rings in my ears, and the longer we stand here, the more I realize I’m not, but also, they care.
They care enough to follow me up here to check on me, to fight against their own wants to ensure my needs are met.
Not to mention the fact that they were ready to pay what I’m sure was a hefty fee to get their hands on Carter and every other thing they’ve done for me since the day I met Oliver during Addy’s pickup.
I could never repay them, but looking at them through my tear-blurred eyes, I know they’d never ask me to.
A sob catches in my throat as I shake my head, trying and failing to keep it together.
“It’s okay not to be okay, Sunshine.”
I’m not sure if it’s his words or the damn nickname, but that does it.
Tears roll down my face, and I’m moving before I can think too much about it and chicken out.
Oliver looks a little shocked from what I can see of him through my blurry eyes, but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap me up in his arms, holding me tight enough that it feels like he might be able to squeeze my broken parts back together.
Maybe he can.
He lifts me up into his arms, and for a moment I’m caught off guard; it’s so easy to forget that Oliver’s just as fit as Des because I hardly ever see him in anything less than dress pants and a sweater vest. There have been a few times, though, and now in his arms, those memories come back to the surface all too easily: him swimming, him early in the morning, shirtless in pajama pants, drinking coffee with a book, his glasses sliding down his nose.
Damn.
I’m pulled from my memories as he moves onto the bed, laying my head on his chest. He lies beside me, smoothing my hair out of my face.
I feel Des as he moves behind me, pulling the blanket over all of us before he snakes an arm around my waist and moves in behind me. I can feel every ridge of his body against mine with Oliver in front of me, and it only makes me cry harder.
“We’re here, Kat, and we’re never going anywhere.” Des breathes the words against my neck, and I believe him.
I don’t want to move; I want to lie here all day and pretend that whatever happened yesterday was just a weird meeting with no ulterior motives.
Well, that and if I’m not mistaken, Oliver is in my bed, which shouldn’t be a big deal considering how often I have someone in my bed, but it feels huge to me, and that’s not the only thing.
Wow, I’m terrible, but I’m going to blame it on the fact that I’m still half asleep and the fact that it’s literally poking me in the back.
