She signed a fucking contract just to try to make me feel better. From what Father said, she didn’t even bother reading it; she knew it took away any claim she had to our money or anything associated with our names and legacy.
It didn’t even faze her.
Any fear I had that she was using us or would tear us apart went up in smoke. Now if she tears us apart, it’s on me. I’m the problem. I’m very aware of that, but I don’t know how to stop.
I’d built a wall between us from the start; Kat, being the perfect woman, respected it even if she didn’t deserve it, and now I don’t know how to tear it down. I’ve been trying to do better, to be better with her. That’s why I invited her to come with us to the library, even if Father had to painfully spell it out for me.
I kick a pebble on the ground and huff in annoyance with myself.
“I can go back if you want. I didn’t mean to take up your time with her or interrupt.” I hadn’t even realized they'd stopped until I heard how close she was.
“Mommy.” It’s impossible to miss the pout in that one word, and sure enough, her little lip is out as she looks up at Kat with those big, sad eyes that always make me cave.
Not Kat, though, at least not as often as the rest of us.
Kat crouches so that she and Addy are face-to-face before reaching out to boop Addy's nose with a smile. “Don’t pout, princess. You and Oli can go pick out some books and bring them back to show Daddy and me. Then we can pick one out for Des or Uncle Alex to read to you tonight. But Oli wanted to spend time with you, and it’s not very nice that I’m stealing all of your attention.”
It blows me away how good she is with her. If I didn’t know she wasn’t Addy’s biological mother, I’d never guess it. I can see why she was a teacher; kids are clearly her calling.
“That’s not what it is, Kat. I was just thinking.”
She turns her attention to me, and I can see the question there.
Yeah, I’m sure I’m not making a lot of sense.
“It’s not something you need to worry about, girls, just my own thoughts getting away from me. Let’s not worry about thatright now.” Kat doesn’t look convinced, but she doesn’t fight me either.
She pushes back up to stand, and Addy looks from her to me, not understanding.
Same, kid.
I push past my panic and swallow down the lump in my throat the best I can as I move forward to stand between them. Addy’s little hand reaches for mine on instinct, used to walking with me, but Kat simply stands beside me, regarding me with concern.
Now or never.
I bite down on the inside of my cheek as I reach for her hand, quickly lacing my fingers through hers before I can chicken out or, worse, she can pull away.
Though if she wants to pull away, I wouldn’t blame her. Even believing I have the right to touch her is far-fetched, but…
She had Nathan draft that contract and signed it so fast she didn’t even read it, Dad said.
Everything points to her wanting this…
Wanting me.
My hands are probably sweaty, and I should have let her lead with this kind of thing.
Oh God, what was I thinking? What if she doesn’t want me, or I’m pushing her too fast?
I move to pull away, unclasping my fingers from hers as the air becomes thick and my thoughts continue to spiral out of control.
Her fingers tighten around mine, holding my hand to hers before she gives them a gentle squeeze.
I slowly peel my eyes open, not even having realized I closed them to begin with. I look down at her and find her smiling up at me. Something that had been wound tight loosens.
“Ready?” She nods down the street in the direction we had just been going a moment ago.
I breathe for what feels like the first time in far too long and nod, looking down at Addy, who is also smiling up at me.
