“Paint the walls whatever color you want to, sweetheart. I really don’t think that a six-year-old girl is going to care as much as you seem to think she will.”
I playfully punch Ely in the shoulder, and he responds by grabbing me around the waist and kissing me, hard and passionately, lips lingering on mine as I rest my forehead against his, the brush still stained with pink paint hanging from my fingers.
“I just want her to love it here,” I tell him. “She deserves that.”
“I think we could put her in an empty box in the hallway, and she’ll be just as happy because she’ll be with you,” Ely says, brushing a strand of hair behind one ear. I inhale the familiar, comforting scent of him, melting into his body as he holds me.
“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” I ask, looking around the empty bedroom that once belonged to Ely’s own son, five-year-old Jacob. “I don’t want you to feel like Maddy and I are coming into your life like a bulldozer and changing everything. This is Jacob’s room, still, and it can continue to be if you’re uncomfortable with it.”
Ely smiles, and I can tell it’s genuine, but the mention of his dead son brings a small shadow to the forefront of his eyes.
“Jacob would have loved Maddy,” he says, playing with my hair as he holds me. “I always figured he’d make an amazing big brother. He would have wanted this, I promise.”
“And the unicorn bed set isn’t too much?” I ask with a giggle that wasn’t meant to sound hysterical but comes out that way anyway. Ely laughs a big-belly laugh that puts my mind at ease and makes me giggle again.
“Of course it’s too much, sweetheart, but probably not for Maddy. She’ll love it.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
40
ELY
It’s been two months. Two months since Madison came home with Jami and me. Two months since we decorated her room down the hallway, Jacob’s old room, with slews of stuffed animals, a real oak desk for her coloring, and a full-sized bed boasting a life-sized image of whatever My Little Pony Jami had helped her pick out. Two months since I dove headfirst into a new family. I shouldn’t say new, not really, because Gin and Jacob were my first family, and they always will be. But now, with Jami and Madison, I feel like even Gin would approve, if only for my happiness, because I’m happy, truly happy, and it’s been a long time since I’ve felt that kind of happiness.
The snow has piled up in front of the door when I arrive home that evening, and it takes me a few minutes to kick the drifts away from the door just enough to slip in, back into the warmth of home. I can hear Maddy and Jami in the kitchen, so I kick off my snow boots and cross the floor, poking my head around the corner. My eyes land on Jami and Madison, who are sitting around the dining room table, both of them hovering over something on the tabletop. Maddy is saying something to Jami, and Jami is laughing at whatever it was that Maddy said. The sound of her laughter, and then Maddy’s, is music to my ears.
“Hello, ladies,” I say, and Jami glances up to grin at me. So does Maddy, and my heart fills and expands when their gazes meet mine.
“Hi, Mr. Ely,” Maddy says, holding up the pink sheet of construction paper for me to see. “We’re making decorations for the Christmas tree.”
“You are?” I kiss Jami on top of the head and sit down in the empty chair around the table. The top of the table is dotted with glitter, glue, and more paper. Right off the bat, I spot a snowman and Santa Claus, and I wink at Maddy, who giggles.
“This tree is going to look pretty rad, yeah?” I say, and Jami laughs when Maddy frowns.
“What’s rad?” she says, and I smile at her.
“I should have said cool. Or awesome. The tree will look awesome with all these neat decorations.”
“Awesome,” Maddy repeats. “Yeah, it will be awesome.”
Jami gets up from the table and goes to the fridge for the milk. She turns the stovetop on and dumps some milk into a pot to warm it up for hot chocolate. Then she comes around the table and puts her arms around me, that sweet, sultry scent of Snowflakes and Cashmere intoxicating me.
“She’s been so excited to get a tree,” she murmurs in my ear. “Can we pick one up this evening?”
“Of course, we can.” I turn my head to kiss Jami back, and Maddy watches us, her eyes scoping out the situation in front of her. I wonder how long it’s been since she’s seen two adults be kind to and love each other instead of filling the house with screaming and fighting.
“Want some hot chocolate, Maddy?” Jami releases me and goes to the cupboard for three mugs. She whips some cocoa, sugar, and chocolate chips into the warm milk, pours it into individual cups for us, and then adds some whipped cream.
“Mommy used to make me coco,” Maddy says, taking a long drink. When she lowers her mug, a chocolate mustache tints her upper lip, and it’s all I can do to keep from spitting out my own drink with laughter. “But it was from the packet. It didn’t taste this good.”
“Oh man,” says Jami. “The powder is my favorite kind, actually, we just didn’t have any here. Your mama knows what she was doing, kiddo.”
I smile at Jami. So does Maddy. This woman, this person … I never thought it was possible for a human being to be so goddamn perfect, and yet here she is.
Mine.
