“What is it?” Regina asks.
“It’s about Madison Hill.” I swallow the lump of fear in my throat, shoving it down until I can no longer feel it threatening to consume me. “She’s in foster care, and I would like to take her in.”
Silence settles over the room as Regina watches me. She’s quiet for so long that I actually have to look away from her stare to focus on something else, anything else, to keep the anxiety from overtaking me completely.
“What do you mean you want to take her in?” Regina asks finally, and the sharp tone in her voice makes me inwardly cringe.
“She’ll end up in foster care, and I want to foster her,” I say bravely, only hoping I look as brave as I sound. “I just know there are certain … rules that shouldn’t be broken in our profession.”
“Yes,” Regina agrees. “And this happens to be one of them.”
“I understand that.” I twist my fingers in my lap, defeated, ready to bail, and never look back, but Maddy’s sweet smile flashes in my mind and I hold my ground, refusing to cower. “There are very few people out there that are as qualified as any of us,” I remind Regina, and for a second she looks like she might just agree with that comment. “Maddy and I have a bond,” I continue before she can say anything more. “I’m very attached to that child, Regina, and I don’t know why or how, but I know that I am. And if fostering Madison Hill means I have to leave the company and stop being a social worker, I can do that. I will do that.”
More silence. This time it’s heavier than the last, and Regina stares at me, her expression mostly blank, but behind the facade, I see a tiny hint of understanding. Compassion. Finally, after what seems like far too long, she sighs and leans forward on the desk, resting on her elbows.
“I can’t guarantee that the higher-ups won’t catch on,” she tells me softly. “And I don’t know what they will say about it. Fortunately for you, I don’t really care what they have to say. If you believe you can provide that poor girl a safe and loving home, who am I to stop you?”
“Really?” I watch my boss’s face, waiting for some sort of sick joke to spill from her lips, but nothing comes. She nods, her eyes softening with what I can only assume is compassion.
“If you need time off to figure things out, I will give it to you. And if this is what you want to do for Madison Hill, I won’t be the one to stop it.”
I stand up then from Regina’s desk and hold out my hand to shake hers. Instead, my boss ignores my hand and crosses around the desk to embrace me for the very first time in the years I’ve known her.
“It’s the people like you, Jami Newman, who was put on this earth to change the world for the better,” she whispers in my ear. “So go do it, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”
“Thank you, Regina.”
“Now get out of here before I change my mind,” she says with a wink, and I’m basically floating on cloud nine as I leave the office and head back to my car to call Jenna and see how Maddy is.
“She misses you,” Jenna says over the phone. “She’s asking when you’re going to come to visit her again.”
“Tell her I’m on my way over now,” I say, heading in the direction of the group home Maddy is staying at. “I want to see her, too.”
It doesn’t take long for me to get to the group home downtown, and one of the staff members escorts me upstairs and down a dimly lit hallway to a spare bedroom, the one Maddy is temporarily staying in. There are children all around us, from the moment I walk through the front door until we find Maddy, but that’s nothing unusual. All of these poor children are just waiting to be placed with a foster family. Until then, they all live together, sharing their lives, their loves, their toys, their stories, and their fears.
We find Maddy sitting quietly on a small cot-like bed in the guest bedroom. It’s a simple room, set up with a bunk bed and two cots, and Madison is sitting cross-legged on one of the beds, holding that silly bear in her arms as she stares silently out the window, unmoving, barely breathing. The social worker who escorted me up nods politely at me with a smile, then backs out of the room, leaving Maddy and me to it.
“Jami,” breathes Maddy, turning as I cross the floor. “You’re here.” I’ve barely sat down on the edge of the bed when Madison throws herself into my arms, tiny body shaking with sobs as she clutches me for dear life. An icy shiver of pain pierces my heart, and I close my eyes and hold her, shushing her, letting her cry against me for as long as she needs to. When she finally settles down, pulling back slightly to wipe at her eyes, those beautiful blues look at my face as she sniffles.
“I don’t like it here,” she says quietly. “There are too many people. Some of the kids are mean to me. I just want them to leave me alone.”
“Oh, baby girl.” I hold Maddy against me, stroking her hair and resting my chin on the top of her head. I don’t know how I can leave her again, walk away until this is sorted out.
“Are you going to help me?” Maddy asks, and her voice cracks like she’s about to cry again. I close my eyes and take a shuddery breath.
“I’m working really hard to get this figured out, okay, baby? But you will have to stay here another night, maybe two, until I get things going. Can you be brave and do that for me?”
Maddy looks up at my face, and I wipe away a stray tear from her cheek. She nods, but I can tell she’s trying not to cry again.
“I won’t let anything happen to you ever again,” I whisper, hugging her close. “I promise. Just hang in there, okay? For me.”
37
ELY
I should have known something was up the moment I walked through my front door that night and was immediately assaulted by the savory smell of juicy beef roast and what smelled like homemade bread. I find Jami in the kitchen, flitting around like a fairy on speed as she cooks dinner, and then she turns to me with such a smile that I realize at that moment I haven’t seen that genuine smile since everything went down with Kasper Hill and his family.
“Hello, handsome,” she says and pulls me to her to plant a hot, wet kiss on my lips. I immediately grow hard for her under my slacks, something that hasn’t eased up even the slightest bit since this woman walked into my life.
