“Oh, my God.”
“It was supposed to be a quick hit on their part, but Gin had a gun, and they weren’t expecting that. She got one of them. Right in the head. But the other took her down.” Ely pauses, dark memories flooding through his soul. I want to reach out and hold him, to draw him into me, but I’m not sure it’s appropriate. I put my hand on his back instead, feeling his skin jump and quiver under my touch. A man who on the outside appears normal, happy even, but it’s the small things that give him away. “To this day, I don’t know how they got such personal information, and I’ve been working on the case since. I want to nail whoever did this.”
“Ely, I’m so sorry.” There’s nothing I can say, nothing at all, that will help him get through the memories of this nightmare, but I have to try. “I really had no idea.”
“They found our son next,” Ely continues, and this time when he speaks, acidic vomit claws its way up my throat, threatening to spill over.
“Your son?”
“Jake,” Ely says. “He was five when he was killed. He’d be eleven this year.”
I don’t know what to say to this. At this point, there is nothing to say. Words alone won’t change the past, and they won’t make the present any better. In all my years of social work, Ely’s story is most definitely one of the worst I’ve heard.
“Hey,” I murmur, resting my lips near Ely’s ear. “I’m here for you, okay? And I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” he rasps, but he leans into me anyway, and I wrap my arms around his body, pulling him close, feeling the beat of his heart against my own.
“I am sorry,” I whisper. “I couldn’t even imagine what that’s like. What you have to live through every single day.”
For a moment, silence settles between us. I hold Ely against my body, and he lets me, skin still quivering as though randomly attacked by these nightmares that must consume him. I close my eyes and breathe in the scent of him, unwilling to let him go.
A few more minutes pass, and Ely finally speaks, his voice rough still and yet somehow still human. “I should be the one apologizing,” he says. “What happened in my past is not your burden to bear.”
“Your past is not a burden to me,” I whisper. “Nor should mine be to you. I asked, and you told me. So thank you. Thank you for telling me.” I release Ely as he leans forward to grab the bottle of beer from the coffee table, tilting it up to take another sip. Then, he climbs to his feet, clicks off the TV, and holds his hand out to me.
“Where are we going?”
“To the bedroom,” he says as I take his hand. “To lay together. Nothing has to happen if you’re not ready.”
I wouldn’t have believed anybody else, but I believe him. I believe Ely. So I allow him to lead me to the bedroom, where we climb on top of the comforter, still fully clothed and lay together for a while, his heartbeat pulsating against my hand, a steady rhythm that wants to put me asleep and get me fired up all at the same time.
“Tell me what it’s like being a cop,” I say, trailing the tips of my fingers down Ely’s chest and stomach. “I know I asked already, but I feel like I did most of the talking at the barbeque.”
“Well, like I said, it’s all I’ve ever wanted to do,” Ely says. “Since I was old enough to know what a police officer was. I wanted to get the bad guys, to bring them to justice.” He sighs and swallows, closing his eyes. “My dad was kind of an asshole, you know? Always yelling at my mother, taking the belt to me when he felt like I was sassing him. I hated that he could get away with that. Intimidating people. The only ones who ever had the power to slow him down, it seemed, were police officers.”
“We’re quite a pair with these horror stories, aren’t we?” I’m trying to lighten the mood, but I feel Ely tense beneath me, recalling similar horrible memories much like my own. I kiss his neck, resting my head on his chest.
“You’re a good man.”
Ely sighs like he’s not sure he really believes this. “There are better men out there,” he says, and I shake my head.
“There are also much, much worse. Believe me, I’ve known many of them. You do, too, probably.”
I know we’re both thinking about the same person, the very person that just so happened to bring us together under the worst circumstances. And compared to that man, Ely is a saint.
“We all have our demons,” I tell him. “No one is perfect. Most of us aren’t even good.”
Ely pulls me into him with one arm, resting his lips on top of my head. He smells good, like aftershave and Irish Spring soap, which just so happens to be one of my favorite scents on a man.
“I can’t imagine that you have a single bad bone in your body,” Ely whispers. “It’s just not possible.”
“You flatter me, Sergeant, but it’s just not true. I’m as wild as the rest of them.” I kiss Ely hard, slipping my tongue between his lips and exploring his mouth with my own. He tastes so good, so smooth, and my body reacts to him, pressing against him, desperately needing more … needing him. Ely’s leg slips between my thighs, and he caresses me there, thumb gently stroking my face as my body heats, a silent scream of desire shooting through me like a lit rocket.
“Oh, God,” I moan, and Ely’s fingers reach for the hem of my shorts, tugging them down until I’m lying there next to him in a pair of red undies and nothing more. He rests one hand on my mound, fingers slipping under the lace panties, and one finger enters me hard, drawing a scream from between my teeth. My hips move up automatically to fill myself with him, and one hand goes to the button on his jeans to loosen them.
“Do you have a condom?” Ely whispers, and I point to my nightstand drawer so he can grab one. My fingers grip the hem of his pants to help him pull them off. Ely rips the foil open with his teeth as I yank the boxers from his hips, and his erection stiffens with full force, arousal so large that adrenaline courses through my veins as Ely yanks off my panties and slips the condom on.
“Is this what you want?” he whispers, nestling between my legs. I grab the back of his head and nod, bringing his face down so I can kiss him, wrapping my calves around his ass to bring him as close to me as physically possible.
