My brain was swimming as I left my mother’s house, hugging her goodbye before going back to my truck. I only knew of one other person to go to now, and it didn’t take me long at all to drive there, parking next to Susan’s little car in the driveway. And while I had expected it wouldn’t be there, my heart still hurt when I pulled up and found no sign of Peyton’s little red car, let alone any sign of her recent existence at all.
“Korbin,” Susan said as she opened the door for me. “What are you doing here?”
“Can I come in?” I asked, and she nodded, stepping back to let me through. She closed the door behind us and turned to face me, hands on her hips in an intimidating, motherly way. “You don’t have to tell me I’m a selfish jerk or anything,” I said quickly as Susan opened her mouth to speak. “My mom already did that.”
“Actually, I was thinking selfish asshole,” Susan said, turning away from me to go to the kitchen where she was heating up a can of soup on the stove top. She pointed to the empty chairs around the table and I sat, unable to meet her gaze for too long. Instead, I focused on my hands in front of me, wringing them anxiously as Susan puttered around the kitchen. Every time I saw the woman she looked better, much better than she had during treatment, and it made my heart very happy.
“Susan, I want to fix this,” I said softly. “I—I never wanted her to leave. I was only trying to protect her. Do you know where she is?”
“Yes, I know where she is,” said Susan, going to the cupboard for a bowl. She turned the heat off on the stove and poured the contents into a bowl, grabbing a spoon from one of the drawers before she joined me at the table. The soup smelled good, but the thought of eating anything made me nauseous. “I know where she is,” Susan said again. “But I’m not going to help you hurt her again, Korbin.”
I nodded, because despite everything, I knew she was right. I’d really fucked things up. And not just once, but twice. Why should anyone help me, especially Susan Blake?
“I’m not going to hurt her again,” I said adamantly. “I—I want to heal her. I want to healus.”
Susan was silent as she pondered this, swirling the spoon around in her bowl of soup. After a long, tense moment, she looked at me again, furrowing her brows.
“Tell me, Korbin,” she said softly. “Is this about you or her?”
“It’s about me,” I said. “I’m selfish, remember?”
Susan cracked a smile. It was a small one, but it was there, nonetheless.
“It’s about the both of us,” I said before she could respond. “And I will fix this, Susan, if it’s the last thing I do. I can’t live without her. I realized that the first time and still know it the second time. So please—please tell me where she is so I can fix this.”
“I can’t,” Susan said finally. “I’m sorry, Korbin, but I can’t help you. If she doesn’t want to talk to you, she doesn’t want to talk. I would be betraying her trust by giving out her address, and you know I can’t do that.”
“I get it.” I dropped my gaze onto the table, realizing just then that Susan was moving slower than she had before. She looked like she’d been losing weight again, too. “Hey, are you alright?” I asked as Susan went to the cupboard to dish me up a bowl of soup. She set it down in front of me and then sat back down, her fingers trembling.
“I’m fine,” she said, waving me off. “Why do you ask?”
“You seem tired,” I told her, hope I wouldn’t offend her and get kicked to the curb. But despite what happened with Peyton and me, Susan was still my family. Something was wrong.
“I’m fine, Korbin.”
“Does Amanda still come help you out?” I asked, taking a sip of the soup from the bowl in front of me. It was delicious, of course.
“Yes, she does,” Susan said with a smile. “What a sweetheart, that darling girl.”
“And you’re remembering to take your medications?”
“Of course I am,” she said fondly, reaching across the table to pat my hand. “Amanda gets them for me every day.”
“That’s good.” I dropped my spoon and stared at Susan, hoping she really was as okay as she was pretending to be. “I’m sorry to drop by and bother you,” I said, getting up from the table. “I didn’t mean to impose.”
“You’re never imposing, Korbin, and I’m sorry I can’t help you more. If I thought that Peyton wouldn’t hate me for it, I would tell you where to find her.”
“I guess I’ll just have to wait until she contacts me, then. When she’s ready.” I washed my bowl in the sink and set it out to dry, turning to face Susan once more. “You’ll call me if you need me, right?”
“Of course I will.”
“Talk soon, Susan.”
“Goodbye, Korbin.”
I walked back to the truck and got in, starting the engine to warm it up in there, wondering if it was a good idea to just leave her alone. She insisted she was fine, and that she still had Amanda around, but still, I worried. Something seemed off. Something seemed wrong. But then again, wasn’t that par for the course?
Chapter20
