“You didn't miss me,” I said, avoiding his gaze. “You miss the thought of having a woman by your side. You miss our relationship. You’re lonely but not lonely enough to change anything. You broke up with me, remember?”
“I remember,” said Korbin. “I think about that moment every day.”
“Do you regret it then?” I asked, and the tension in the air seemed to thicken. “Do you regret breaking up with me?”
Korbin sighed, looking out the window as he cupped his hands against the back of his neck with a sigh, rubbing it just like he used to when he was annoyed or stressed out.
“I know you want me to regret it,” he said. “And most of it I regret, Peyton, but I still stand by what I said. I work a dangerous job and won't be the one to break a woman's heart someday if I am killed on duty. Especially not yours. You deserve so much more than that. You deserve what I cannot give you.”
“You do realize that many men work dangerous occupations, right?” I asked, trying not to sound too bitter. “You’re not the first man to go to work and wonder if he’ll come home.”
“I wasn’t the first, and I won’t be the last,” he mumbled. “I know I’m not,” he murmured, and at once I thought of Oscar Butler, Korbin’s father. That’s probably who he was thinking of, too.
Korbin Butler was nothing if not a man who stuck to his morals and beliefs, but sometimes the way he approached things seemed worse than if he hadn’t brought it up. I waited for him to go on, to defend his actions or at least try to, but he did nothing of the sort, which only irked me more. But for once, I kept silent, seething in my own self-pity.
As I pulled up to Korbin’s family home, parking in the driveway, the rain finally stopped, coating the town in a beautiful but still sad glowing dew. Not wanting to help him but knowing I had to, I crossed to the other side of the car to help Korbin stand, and he turned to face me, forcing a weak smile. It was pitiful, which only made it that much more endearing.
“Do you want to come in?”
“No,” I said, clearing my throat. “I need to get home to my mom, make sure she’s still doing okay.”
Korbin nodded understandingly, but he didn’t move towards the door. Instead, he lingered there near me, his eyes searching my face for something I wasn’t sure he would find. One hand reached up to touch my face, fingers caressing my skin. I closed my eyes for a split second, melting for him, but then pulled away, just a mere inch or two.
“Get inside and rest up,” I said, but before I could turn away, Korbin leaned in towards me, holding me captive with his gaze, and he kissed me, gently at first, then with more passion, more heat, moredesire.
I almost pulled away, almost pulled back and slapped him, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Because I wanted this just as much, if not more than he did.
Korbin’s tongue slipped between my lips, searching my mouth with his, and I moaned as one of his hands reached up to hold my face there, demanding me, entrancing me.
“You taste so fucking good,” he whispered, the gravelly tone I had missed so much taking control. I felt my body melt into him, desperate for his familiar kiss, his familiar touch. For a moment, we were somewhere else, in another life or another time, with no one around to judge us or bother us.
“No,” I said, thinking suddenly of Jake’s text. I pushed away from Korbin, covering my mouth with my fingers, horrified. “No,” I said again. “I’m not doing this with you, Korbin. Get out, please.”
“Peyton—”
“Just go.”
Sadly, Korbin reached a hand out and touched my face, his rough and calloused—yet somehow still gentle—fingers brushing my lips. I pulled back and slapped his hand away. My tongue flicked out to taste him, and Korbin smiled, clearly pleased with himself.
“Goodnight,” he said as fire raced through my veins. “I’ll see you soon.”
Before I could respond to this or even think of how to react to it, Korbin turned and hobbled away to the porch and then into the door, where he stopped and turned back to look at me with a wink. He closed the door behind him, leaving me standing in the light, misty rain, hand on my mouth, wondering what in the hell had just happened.
I took the long route home to my mother’s, and on the way, I called up Jake, anxious to hear his voice. I hoped that talking to him would take my mind off of Korbin, but it did no such thing. Just the opposite, in fact.
“I’d like to come to Denver soon to check out one of your clubs,” I said boldly, flicking off the car’s headlights before pulling into my mother’s driveway. I shut off the engine and sat in the dark for a moment, my cell phone still pressed against my ear as Jake spoke on the other end of the line. My blood still pumped like fire through my veins, and I hated it. I hated myself for liking it so damn much.
“I would like that, too,” Jake said. I closed my eyes, focusing on Jake’s face, forcing myself to imagine him instead of Korbin Butler. I wished he was here suddenly, Jake, wooing me just as he had the other night. I needed the distraction.
“Soon,” I promised. “I’ll let you know, okay?”
“Sleep well, beautiful,” he said, and we bid our goodbyes as I got out of the car to go inside. Maybe, at some point, I’d stop thinking about the one person in the world I should not have been thinking about.
Chapter11
Korbin
“Hi, son, how was your date with Peyton?” my mother called cheerily from somewhere in the kitchen. I groaned and rolled my eyes, limping towards the bedroom for some privacy.
