“An investigation?” I looked at my chief, who held my gaze steadily. “What in the hell are you guys going to investigate? Didn’t Amanda confess?”
“To the arson, yes,” Eli said. “But this is a new accusation, and we must take it seriously.”
“And what about the fact that she’s been working illegally as a home health nurse?” I asked. “You guys were in Susan’s hospital room. Amanda poisoned her too! Is all this not enough to convince you that she’s bad news?” I threw my hands in the air and sat back in the chair, utterly speechless. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and it kept coming.
“I have no choice but to suspend you pending the investigation results,” Chief Davis said with a sigh, rubbing one hand over his face.
“Suspend me?” I repeated. “For an accusation?”
“I have to.”
“Do you—do you believe I did this, Chief?” I asked, and suddenly I was afraid to hear the answer, frightened of the notion that my boss and friend might actually think this of me. Chief Davis leaned forward, his stern face only a few feet from mine.
“Not for a second,” he said steadily. “But the sooner we cooperate, the sooner this will be done with.”
“Christ.” I rubbed my hands over my face as emotional fatigue washed over me like someone had drowned my soul. “Fine. Fine.” I turned back to Detective Burton. “What happens now?”
“We’ll have to conduct interviews with your friends and family to determine your relationship with Amanda Briggs,” Eli said, unconsciously tapping the end of a pencil on the chief’s desk. “We’ll investigate the car, see if we can find DNA—”
“Youwillfind DNA,” I said. “Because at one point, I was in the car with Amanda. I just didn’tassaulther.”
“Then you won’t have to worry about anything, will you?” Officer Denny said, but it wasn’t unkind. He understood. We all knew what Amanda could do now, but it didn’t matter. I still felt absolutely miserable, and I knew whatever happened next would be miserable too.
“Okay,” I said with a shrug, glancing back at my chief. “I guess that’s it then.”
“Don’t think of this as a punishment,” Chief Davis said, leaning forward in his chair. “This is paid leave. Take time off and spend it with your fiancé. Help plan your wedding. Focus on something else—anything else—but this.”
I stood from my chair, and the others followed suit, each reaching out a hand to shake mine. I felt numb, exhausted. Whatever high I’d been riding since Amanda’s arrest and arson confession was gone, shattered, and all that was left was a mountain of self-doubt and writhing hatred for the woman who had set out to destroy this department. I hated her and myself for ever bothering to know her.
“What happened in there?” Hansen asked after the meeting ended. I’d gone upstairs to grab some of my things for home, and my friend found me sitting on the edge of my bed, shoving clothes and books into a backpack to take home. “And where are you going?”
“I’m suspended,” I said with a slight shrug, trying to play off my hurt and betrayal. “With pay, of course. We can’t forget that.”
“What in the hell are you talking about?”
“It’s Amanda.” I stopped packing briefly and looked up at Hansen, whose eyes were as wide as saucers. “She’s accused me of sexual assault.”
“Sexual assault?” he repeated. “Is that a joke?”
“Not according to the law.”
“Well, they know she’s crazy, right?”
“We all know that,” I said. “But it doesn’t make her accusation less real. The police were sure about that.”
“This is bullshit.”
“I know.”
“Chief doesn’t believe it, does he?”
“No,” I said, forcing a smile. “No one really does, but it’s humiliating.”
Shaking his head, Hansen sat down on the bed across from mine, resting his elbows on the top of his thighs. “Fuck her,” he said. “And fuck anyone who believes that shit. Have you told Peyton?”
“No.” I tore my gaze away from my friend to focus on the packing, wishing I didn’t have to think about what was about to happen with Peyton. “I didn’t tell her that Amanda came onto me in the car,” I said. “I didn’t tell anybody, really, because it was nothing to me but an extremely awkward moment that I wished I’d never been a part of. I guess I didn’t find it relevant.”
“Do you think Peyton will be angry?”
