She nodded, taking in a gulp of fresh air. “So, what now?”
“I don’t know,” I said with a slight shrug. “I guess now we part ways, and I try to make this right with Renee.”
“What if she doesn’t want you, Jake? What if she wants Aaron? Or, God forbid, Matt?”
“Then I’ll have to figure out a way around that, won't I?” I leaned over and kissed Carly on the forehead, and she forced a small smile for me. As we parted ways and she drove off, I felt better, and I was glad she came to see me tonight.
I only had to focus 110% on getting Renee back in my good graces.
Chapter 28
Renee
“Oh, my baby girl, itwas so good to see you.” Mom hugged me, pulling me close, and I let her hold me, inhaling the familiar scent of baking four and mixed spices. My mom kissed the top of my head and kept me at arm’s length to scope me out. “You’ve lost weight,” she said. “And you look so tired, honey. Why are you so tired?”
I opened my mouth to explain or to say anything and then closed it again because I’d come to the conclusion that I couldn't speak anymore without wanting to cry, too. Mom seemed to sense this because she pulled me back into her, shushing me.
“Let’s sit down,” she said. “And you can tell me all about it.”
The house was empty like it had been for a few days. Jami was in class, and Carly hadn’t come around. I’d basically been on my own, moping around the house, hiding from the humiliation waiting for me inside my college classes. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face them, especially couldn't face the flyers still being passed around campus ... mocking me.
“Okay, sweetie,” Mom said, taking my hands in hers as we sat on the living room couch. My mom looked good, like one of those Betty Crocker women who could single-handedly raise her family and conquer the world simultaneously. “Something is going on, so tell me what it is.”
I sighed, pushing out some air between my teeth. I didn’t want to tell her, I really didn’t, because I was humiliated enough without telling my parents that I whored around with two guys I barely knew and lost one of my friends in the process.
But I did tell her. I told my mom everything because that’s what she does best. She listens. And right now, I need someone to listen more than ever.
When I was finished, Mom handed me the box of tissues sitting on the coffee table and reached for me, pulling me into another much-needed bear hug.
“I remember these boys,” she said, and something in her voice had changed. She was tense and disappointed, even though she tried hiding it behind her motherly love. I blew my nose and shook my head.
“It was not their fault, Mom. This time, it was my fault.”
“What compelled you to have intimate relationships with two boys who made your life horrible?” Mom asked. She didn’t raise her voice, yell, or even get angry, which made me keep going.
“I guess ... I guess I found out how much I liked them,” I told her. “I mean, in the beginning, I wanted to do it for revenge, you know, to hurt them like they hurt me. But it didn’t work out that way because I enjoyed our time together. With both of them.”
