I betrayed Jake.
I betrayed Aaron.
I even fucking betrayed Jason.
And then, in an unexpected turn of events, Matt betrayed me.
“Hey, it’s going to be okay.” Jami leans across the couch and wipes a tear away with her thumb, smiling kindly. “These things happen, Ren. But you’ll get through it.”
“What am I even supposed to do?” Sniffling, I grabbed a Kleenex from the counter and wiped it across my eyes, shaking my head. “Carly is going to hate me forever. All of them will.”
“I don’t know, babe.” Jami sighed and wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I felt so grateful for her, especially now that I know she might be the only person I have left to turn to.
“Yeah, well, the worst part is ... I brought it all on myself, didn’t I?”
When Jami didn’t answer immediately, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, head fuzzy with emotion, just letting Jami hug me.
“You’ll get through this, okay?” she said, shaking her head. “Many people go through this kind of heartbreak, especially in college.”
I shook my head, fighting down the lump in my throat. “I fucked up, James. I really fucked up. I hurt a lot of people in the process. And I—” I sucked in a gulp of air, chest tight with nausea. “I hurt people who didn’t deserve to be hurt, okay? I am not this person.”
“I know you’re not,” Jami said. She straightens up and brushes a strand of tear-dampened hair out of my eyes. “Pull yourself together, Ren, and let’s figure this out. I won’t let you go down for this, at least not alone.”
Chapter 25
Matt
Iwas six beers inby the time ten o’clock rolled by, and it was still not enough to get Renee off my mind, even for a brief moment. The bar was slow tonight, but random stragglers came in and out of the cold, taking shots and even going for a quick game of pool or darts. I didn’t bother to turn around. Really, I couldn't. I didn’t care, not anymore. It was all I could do to find the physical effort to lift my head and order another beer.
After another moment, my phone buzzed, and I almost didn’t check it. It had been going off all night, ever since I confronted Carly and spilled everything to her. Aaron had repeatedly been calling; even Jake had texted me multiple times. They wanted to know what to do now, I know they did, but I didn’t really have an answer for them.
Because I’m not sure that what I did was right.
I pounded another beer in under ten seconds flat, slapping it down on the table, just as another small group of people came stumbling through the door. Jocks, they looked like, probably friends of Jake. They looked like they were drunk, but I didn’t give a shit. I wished I was that drunk.
“Hey, lady,” one of the loudmouths hollers across the room. “Could we get a round of shots?”
