But nothing came. Not with Jason.
Not like it was with Aaron and Jake.
I forced a small laugh for him and allowed a quick kiss on the cheek before he departed, finally leaving me alone in serene silence. I watch him go, a tightness in my chest that won’t seem to ease off. I might have to break it off with Jason. I really might. Try as I have, I couldn't seem to find that same spark with him as I feel with the other two.
And it was not fair for either of us.
With a sigh, I took my pick of empty tables and slid into a chair, resting my forehead on the wooden tabletop. I felt like I could sleep here, and the exhaustion that overtook me was overwhelming. For the dozenth time tonight, I think of seeing Matt at dinner, Matt and his mother, anyway, a woman I didn’t know well but still respected. Something was wrong with her, that much was clear, and the exchange between Matt and his mom made me wonder what their relationship was like. Are they close? Does she know what a bully he used to be?
I rubbed the tiredness from my eyes and massaged my temples, trying to ward off an oncoming headache. I’d just about decided to head home alone when the library door opened again. It was almost ten, so I looked up, expecting it to be one of the late shift workers. But it was not.
It was Matthew Nelson.
He spotted me almost as soon as I spotted him, and for a brief moment, neither of us made a sound or a movement. Matt looked as tired as I felt, emotionally drained and tense. The fight from earlier is gone from his eyes. He’s not scowling. He just looked ... sad.
I’ve never seen him look sad before. Not in this lifetime.
For a moment, I think Matt is about to turn around and bail, but when he doesn't, I do the only thing I could think of. I pointed at the empty chair across from me and shrugged my shoulders. Matt hesitates, scoping me out, then, much to my surprise, he walks over and plops down in the chair across from me.
“Hi,” I said.
“Hi.”
Silence. I swallow, feeling tense suddenly, but force myself to face him. He’s just a man, a young man with intense emotions.
After all, I reminded myself.He’s only human.
I wanted to say anything to break the silence, but I didn’t know what to say, so finally, Matt spoke.
“Where’s your boyfriend?” he asked, pretending to look around.
I rolled my eyes. “He’s not my boyfriend.”
“What is he then?”
“A friend. I am allowed to have friends.”
“Friends that take you out to dinner?”
“Yes,” I insisted, heat rising under the collar of my jacket. “I wish more friends did that for each other.”
When Matt met my gaze again, I could see the teasing glint behind the darkness of his eyes.
“I was just fucking with you, Lyon. Relax.”
I folded my arms over my chest, pouting, but Matt was still grinning. It was a tired smile, but it was there, and honestly? It was one of the sexiest genuine smiles I’d ever seen.
“What is this?” I dropped my hands onto the table, keeping my steady gaze on his. “Why are you joking around now? Earlier today, you were shooting daggers through me with your attitude alone.”
Matt shook his head, and his eyes finally dropped from mine. He pretended to pick at a skin tag on his rough, calloused hands.
“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” he said.
“Try me.”
He sighed, aggravated now, but I no longer cared. I was done screwing around with this guy and his shitty attitude.
“Look, Renee,” Matt said with a slight shake of his head as if this whole exchange was the most annoying thing he’d ever had to face. “You bring something out in me, okay?” He paused and took a deep breath, and I stayed silent, waiting for him to go on. “You bring out so much in me that sometimes I can’t control my emotions. I felt jealous when I saw you in our apartment with Jake earlier this evening. So fucking jealous. I thought that was it, that my chance with you was gone, done, and ruined. And honestly?” he ran a hand through his shaggy black hair and shrugged his shoulders.
