Jami shrugged, probably for a quick escape. “This is something you need to be talking to her about,” she tells me. “It’s not my business, honestly.” She flashed me a quick smile and turned to leave but then stopped and looked back at me again. “And for God’s sake, break it off with Carly. I know you’re not a bad guy, so stop pretending to be.”
I was still thinking of Jami’s words through my next class, hardly able to focus on anything the professor was droning on about. Later, as I walked home after my last class, my cell phone buzzed in my pocket, alerting me of a new text message. I pulled it out of my pocket and glanced at it, hoping that somehow it was Renee, asking to hang out. It was not. It was my dad.
Your coach said you’re distracted in practice.
It was not a hello, or how are you, son? It was nothing. All he wanted from me was my undivided loyalty, a promise to be the best son he thought I could be. I was not a human, not to my dad. I was his star football player, fantasizing about what he wished he could always be.
Coach is full of shit,I typed back quickly.I was doing fine.
I didn’t feel like dealing with him if he tried to call, so I powered my cell phone down and shoved it into the bottom of my backpack, fuming. Count on my dad to fuck up a perfectly good day. It was his favorite pastime.
Turning the corner to walk up the stairs towards our apartment, I almost run into a second person sitting at the bottom of the outside stairwell, arms around her knees as she taps her foot, waiting for something. Or someone. This time, it is Renee.
“Oh, hi.” I stopped in front of her, completely caught off guard. I hadn’t expected to see Renee so soon, especially of her own free will. Honestly, for a few days, I wondered if she’d even ever wanted to see me again. “Is everything okay?”
Renee nodded, but she looked uncertain, nervous, even. She couldn't hold my gaze for too long, so I dropped my bag at my feet and sat next to her on the chilled cement stairs, careful not to come off as too physically overbearing. For a few moments, neither one of us speaks. I wanted to push it out of her, make her talk, but I couldn't. It was not my place. She would have to tell me what she came to say when she was ready.
“Did you have football practice today?” she asked, noticing the cleats sticking out of the top of my bag.
“Yeah.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“I love football,” I said. “But I felt kind of distracted today.”
“By what?”
I hesitate, but Renee turns to look at me, those stunning green eyes of hers looking right through me. If I didn’t know any better, I could swear she was reading the book of my soul.
“By you,” I told her honestly, and Renee’s eyes dropped immediately from mine. But even then, I spot the tiny, satisfied smile that plays on her lips.
“I’m sorry I was such a distraction,” she teases, and I shrugged good-naturedly.
“I guess it was fine. If anything is going to distract me, I could only hope it was as beautiful as you.”
“Wow,” Renee said with a giggle. “You are a charmer, aren’t you?”
“That’s what they said, anyway.” I nudged her with my arm teasingly, hoping I could put her at ease. “Listen, it’s cold out here. Do you want to go inside for a coffee or something?”
Renee hesitated for a second too long before I realized her concern.
“Aaron and Matt aren’t here,” I promised her. “They have another class in about twenty minutes and rarely make it back before then.”
She nodded a hesitant okay, and I took her hand to help her to her feet, gathering her bag from the bottom of the stairs to carry it up. I unlock the apartment door and show her in, laying her purse on a hook by the entrance. Renee hesitated at the entrance as if she was listening for any sign of my roommates. Finally, when she was content there was nobody else, she slowly entered the living room and sat down on the couch, crossing her legs and arms, a protective stance if I’ve ever seen one.
“I’ll offer you water or coffee first, as a gentleman should,” I said to her from the kitchen. “But I would also offer up something strong to ease your nerves. I highly suggest the latter.”
Renee laughed at this, and my entire body reacted to the beautiful sound that escaped from between her lips. I was already getting hard for her, so I forced myself to focus on anything else but that.
“How about whiskey and coke?” I asked, and she nodded her head. I make her drink, then one for myself, and walk back into the living room to hand it to her. Renee took it with a smile, her eyes scanning the living room. I was suddenly hyper-aware of what a damn mess it was in here; a proper bachelor pad. Dirty socks are strewn around the carpeted floor, and a used towel is draped over the recliner in the corner. An empty glass of vodka sits on the windowsill, and some of Aaron’s vape parts lie on the coffee table. I rolled my eyes and sat down next to Renee.
“You seem tense,” I told her, taking a drink of my own whiskey. Renee shrugged and took a sip, her eyes on everything but me.
“I felt like I needed to see you,” she said. “See you and also maybe talk about something.”
A tightness in my gut is suddenly painful as wariness grips me.
“Is it bad?” I asked, and when Renee hesitated, I felt sick. She sets her drink down on the coffee table, then turns her body in my direction.
