Me? I believed that if you stood back and let them come, they would. Chasing them would only scare them away, and I was in no position to scare Renee away before she even knew me.
The real me. The grown-up me.
It was cold the following day, and as I walked through campus bundled under a thick jacket, my eyes surveyed the area, observing the activity around me. I loved school, and I always had. Not just the general atmosphere of the school, but I enjoy learning, soaking up every bit of information that someone else might have to offer. The universe, to me, has infinite learning possibilities. I question everything; our mere existence, why things are the way they are. There was so much more than meets the eye in this life, and I wanted to be the person that knew about it. Studied it. I wanted to know things on a whim- unique, beautiful things that people would never even think about on an average day.
People are weird. It comes with the territory, I guess. Humans generally have so many issues, some I may never understand. We’re supposed to be the most intelligent species, right, and yet we kill each other in war and vehement hatred and bias.
Religion.
Politics.
Power.
It was all a fucking mess.
Shaking my head, I reached into my pocket for my vape, the one filled with THC oil. Jake hated when I smoked. He wanted to say it was because he was going to be a cop soon, and it was still illegal. Still, he was always so paranoid that he’d have to take a random piss test sometime during football practice and come up dirty because of my secondhand smoke. He didn’t seem to give a fuck if his coach knows that he’s made an art form out of black-out boozing on the weekends and has also been known to snort heroin, at least in his wilder days.
Thank God he wasn’t like that anymore. He might be a douche, but he’d changed, too.
I finally made it to one of the three campus libraries and shoved the THC pen back into my pocket before I went in to find a quiet corner to work on some personal art. The library is quiet today, more peaceful than usual, and it only takes a few minutes for me to get into the vibe of my artwork. I was so consumed by the characters on the page that I almost didn’t even notice Renee Lyon waltzing in, flanked by her friend from the bar, the tall one with glasses who looked content in a place like a public library. Jami, I think I heard her name was. They didn’t notice me at first, staring up at them from the sheet of sketch paper I’d been hunched over. I watch them in silence, listening to their giggles, noticing how Renee brushed the hair off her face too often, as though she was not used to wearing it down. It didn’t matter, really. She could shave it off and be just as beautiful as she is now.
“Hey,” Jami whispered in hushed tones, and heat rises under my collar as she elbows Renee in the arm and tilts her head in my direction.
Damnit. Caught red-handed.
“Aaron Connor.” Renee turns her body in my direction, hands on her hips, head tilted slightly to the side, scoping me out. “I am surprised that a man so close to guys like Jake and Matt knows what a library is.”
“Don’t be fooled,” I said with a grin. “I’m just here to work on my art.”
Renee glanced over her shoulder at Jami, then nodded, and Jami—still grinning—nodded and hurried away to pretend to look busy. Renee’s arms folded over her chest as she approached my table, then sat down in the empty chair across from me.
“Still into art, are you?” Her eyes landed on the sketchpad under my elbows, and before I could stop her or even respond, she reached it and tugged it free, sliding it in her direction. Both of us were silent as Renee’s eyes studied the drawing, and for a moment, she seemed lost in the color, taken with the fine lines and marks.
“Aaron,” she said softly. “Is this me?”
“It was nothing fancy,” I said as she handed it back. “Sorry if it still looked sloppy.”
“How long have you been working on that?”
“Since the night we saw you in the bar.”
“Why?” She leans forward until her elbows are on the table, the palms of her hands supporting her chin. “Why did you draw me?”
“I don’t know, I just ...” I trail off, eyes cast down on the paper. “You’re magnificent, Renee. It was something I really didn’t have control over. I’m sorry if it offends you.”
For a moment, I thought she would freak out and leave, and honestly, I wouldn’t blame her. That’s what all the other girls do. But she didn’t. Instead, she smiled warmly.
“It’s nice,” she said. “Better than nice. You’ve always had raw talent. I remember it well. I’m kind of flattered, actually.”
I was just about to ask her how she knew that about me, but then it dawned on me, and I shut my mouth hard before I could say something stupid. Renee seemed to sense it, anyway, because she smiled a bit, but it was not as carefree as it was a moment ago.
“Just because I hated you guys didn’t mean I knew nothing about you,” she said softly, eyes cast now to the marks on the wooden tabletop. “Who didn’t know about you? Everyone knows your names.”
I dropped my gaze to the paper, feeling queasy as the memories flowed back.
“I was an asshole in high school,” I admitted. “All of us were. And I’m sorry.”
“You already apologized.” Renee smiled and leaned back in the chair, folding her arms over her plump, perky breasts. My dick hardened as I caught sight of the flawless, soft skin peeking out from under a thin, low shirt.
