Much to my surprise, after a long moment of trying silence, Macey nodded just once, but it was all I needed. “That sounds nice,” she said. “Are you treating?”
“Well, that depends,” I said. “Can we call this a date?”
“No,” she said. “We can call this two friends having dinner because it’s late, and I don’t want to heat up ramen at home.”
“Deal,” I said, and Macey grinned. I didn’t care if she didn’t want to go on a date with me yet. She would know soon when the time was right. My primary focus was to get to know her. I wanted to be around her. I loved the company. She truly was...my friend, and I needed more of those.
“Okay then.” She strung her backpack over one shoulder and waited for me to pack up. I wanted to hold her hand as we walked, but it was too much, too soon, and I knew she wouldn’t fall for it. With how adamant Macey had been this far about not dating me, I wasn’t sure I wanted to get punched in the face tonight.
“It’s so nice out,” Macey mused as we walked shoulder to shoulder down the sidewalk towards the cute little campus restaurant. She was right, of course. It was beautiful out, the full moon basking us in the warm glow of the sky. Stars shone like fireflies in the all-consuming blackness above us. It was chilly, as it almost always was in Colorado at night, but neither of us seemed to mind.
“Here,” I said, shrugging off my school baseball jacket. “I can’t tell if you’re cold yet, but it’s getting chilly.”
Macey opened her mouth, probably to argue, but I already had the jacket draped over her shoulders before she could fight me. She seemed to succumb to her vulnerability then, and I saw the tension leave her shoulders as she relaxed.
“Thank you,” she said instead, and even under the inky blackness of the night, the red tint in her cheeks appeared.
“You’re welcome.”
The restaurant was close, and after requesting a table and being sat down in a small booth in the corner, Macey and I ordered our drinks and some nachos for the table. It was after ten, so the place was almost completely deserted, leaving the two of us to get to know each other under the best circumstances.
“This is nice,” Macey said, taking a sip from her soda. “It’s been a while since I’ve had something other than Ramen noodles and orange juice.”
“Together or apart?” I asked, and Macey chuckled, casting her eyes down to the tabletop.
“Either,” she said. “It’s easy to get creative when you live off microwave noodles.” She smiled playfully when she said this, and all I wanted to do was lean across the table and kiss her.
“Lucky for you, I’m a huge Ramen noodle fan,” I said with a shrug. “The biggest.”
“Lucky forme?” Macey repeated. “What do you think is going to happen, Gregory? Do you believe even for a second that I’m actually going to cook for you?”
“Well, yeah.” I reached for a chip off the plate of nachos the server delivered and popped one into my mouth. Macey did the same, but a small dribble of melted cheese clung to her chin, and my fingers itched to wipe it away. I resisted the urge because I didn’t want to scare her off so soon. But by her third, unknowing bite, I couldn’t ignore it anymore. I leaned across the table as Macey stared at me, and my thumb brushed her chin. The tiny speck of cheese fell, but I let my hand linger there for a moment longer as Macey and I stared at each other...lost, somehow, but also found.
“Jayce,” Macey said softly, and she pulled her head back just an inch, not even that, but it was far enough to break contact.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
“It’s...fine,” Macey said with a quick shake of her head. But it didn’t sound fine.
“What’s wrong, Macey? Tell me what you’re thinking right now.”
She shook her head again, but I didn’t have to push her because she continued to speak a moment later.
“I like you,” she said, subconsciously tracing the condensation on her ice water glass. “But I don’t think I’m in a place right now to be serious with anyone.”
It took a moment for her words to register, and I wasn’t sure if it was because I was caught off guard or if I was trying to make up for the fact that she had just shut down any future I’d ever considered having with her. Which, to be honest hadn’t been a huge thought of mine, but I would have liked to know that the opportunity was there.
So, like any super-intelligent but somehow still douchey college guy, I said the first thing I could think of to defend my surprise. “Serious?” I asked. “Who is asking you to be serious?”
I don’t know what provoked me to say it. Macey was cute, hell yes, and she was charming. And funny. And stupidly kind. And gorgeous, in her own nerdy, hippy way. But I wasn’t in the market for a girlfriend, either.
At least, that’s what I was telling myself.
“If you’re not hitting on me, then what in the hell are you doing?” Macey asked, zoning in on me. There was anger in her eyes, so intense that I had to look away for a moment to gather my bearings.
“We’re friends,” I said. “You’re fun to talk to, fun to hang out with. I’m sorry if I came off as flirty. I guess I’m just over-friendly.”
“Oh,” Macey said with a nod. “Yes, that you are.”
