“I couldn’t leave her,” I said. “She was terrified.”
“You could have died. Again.”
“So could she.” I pulled myself away from his embrace and rolled my shoulders back to ease the tension in my neck. An incoming headache tore at the fibers in my brain, and I squeezed my eyes shut. “It doesn’t matter. I didn’t save her life anyway.”
Hansen stuffed the trauma bag back into the bus compartment with more force than the task deserved and shook his head. His knuckles appeared white from where he’d been holding onto me.
“Paisley,” he said. “You did. You really did.”
Once mom, son, and daughter were on their way to the hospital for further evaluation, we returned to the station feeling pretty good about the outcome. Korbin barely and just once apologized about almost letting the SUV crush us both to death, but I took what I could get and told him it was okay, that he’d have to put up with me a bit longer. Jake Finn and Ty Morton were on duty when we returned, and they smiled brightly in my direction. Jake stood to meet me.
“Paisley!” he called and raised his hand to wave in my direction, halting me. I hesitated outside the door, kicking off the heavy work boots. Jake jogged over and walked with me to the kitchen, his freckled face grinning with anticipation. “How are you feeling? We listened to the whole thing on the radio. I thought you were a goner.”
“Me too.”
“You have bruises on your face,” he pointed out. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Never better, Finn.” I smiled and winked. “So, what’s up?”
“I saw your ad for a roommate,” Jake said. “Are you still looking for someone to move in?”
“Um. Yes.” For some reason, I’d never even considered Jake. I didn’t even know anything about his current living situation.
“My roommate is graduating,” Jake said breathlessly. “And our lease is up on the student housing when he moves. I still have another year of school. I’d love to talk to you about rooming at your place.”
“No talk necessary,” I said with a warm smile. Jake was a good friend, and I adored the kid. I knew my decision if I had to choose between him and a stranger. “Thanks for being my new roomie.”
Chapter34
Hansen
For the rest of the day, every time I saw Paisley, my throat tightened with a burning, painful need to protect her. The thought of losing her from my life was too much to handle. I wanted to scream at her, shout and shake her until some sense knocked loose in her brain and planted itself firmly in her frontal lobe. Her need for adrenaline, her drive to save everyone around her, to fix what was broken, was getting out of hand. After the breakup, it seemed to be getting worse. It enraged me and scared the shit out of me simultaneously. One of these times, Paisley was going to get killed. The worst part was that I don’t think she cared.
After dinner, I grabbed some headphones and headed downstairs to work out. Paisley, to my surprise, was already down there, finishing what looked like a brutal workout on the weights. Her skin flushed red, and tiny beads of sweat ran from her forehead and down into her eyes. Even now, dressed in work sweats and a tank top, flyaway hairs on her face, she was magnificent.
“Oh, sorry,” I said, feeling suddenly stupid. “I hope I’m not interrupting.” She chuckled and wiped the sweat from her neck with a towel, brown hair bobbing in a ponytail.
“It’s the whole station’s gym,” she said with a shrug. “The other guys refuse to workout with me because I make them watchKeeping Up with the Kardashiansreruns.”
“Well, lucky for you, Khloe K. and I are best friends.”
“I would have figured you more for a Kim girl,” Paisley teased. She tossed the dirty towel into the hamper and walked closer to me, leaning down to gather her water bottle and extra scrunchie. As she stood back up, I stepped forward until we were face-to-face, mere inches from each other. I couldn’t help myself. The fear and desire I’d been experiencing since the call out this morning brewed inside me like a latent volcano. For a moment, Paisley’s breath caught in her throat, her eyes searching my face as though looking for any emotion she could grab onto and run with it.
“Should you be working out so hard after all that?” I asked, fingers twitching to reach up and touch the pink hues on her cheeks.
“Hansen,” she said, and her fingers started to reach for my face. In a split second, she caught herself and started to turn away. I grabbed her and pulled her back, my hand almost grabbing her with a compulsion, pulling her chin to mine to rest my lips on hers.
She was hungry for me, her tongue slipping between my lips as I pulled her body close to mine. She moaned, one hand running up the side of my head, tangling her fingers in my hair. I pulled her even tighter against me, my hand exploring the slope of her dainty back down to the curve of her firm ass. She reached down, one hand inching towards my growing erection. At the very last minute, she pulled away, shoving me away from her, steadying herself on the counter behind her.
“Hansen—”
“I know what you’re going to say,” I reached for her and pulled her back into me, fingers interlacing with hers. “But don’t say it. I’m going to end it. I’m going to end it with Julia.”
“But when?” Paisley asked. She dropped her hands from mine and looked down on them in shame, looking mortified. “Oh, God, Hansen, what are we doing? You can’t leave Julia. She loves you.”
“I know.” I retook her hands in mine, squeezing them. “And I loved Julia, once upon a time. I’m a loyal man, P, and I’ve been loyal, even when she wasn’t.” I hesitated, a lump rising in my throat, recalling the real reason I could never give myself entirely to Julia. “I can’t keep my mind off you, okay? I know it was a mistake to kiss you and unfair to Julia. I know that. But—I can’t keep my mind off you.”
Paisley swallowed, brushing a strand of loose hair behind one ear. She chewed at her bottom lip, eyes wavering over my face for a long time before she spoke.
