“If you can’t handle what I do with my life, Jeremy, then maybe we need to rethink this whole marriage thing,” I said steadily. A migraine was coming on, completing the full body ache I’d had since the accident. Although I couldn’t bring myself to curl up into a ball—not just yet.
“Yeah, P, maybe you’re right.” Jeremy set his beer down and went to the door for his jacket, shrugging it on. “Maybe we do.”
“Where are you going?”
“To work. I need some time to think.”
“To think about what?” I rushed to the door, slamming my hand out to stop him. He hesitated but didn’t look at me. “I’m tired of you running away whenever things get tough, Jeremy. We’re adults. Let’s talk about it like adults.”
I thought he would give in for a moment. Silence settled between us as we looked at each other. I wanted to reach out and pull him into me, to hold the man I was once so in love with, the man I’d soon marry. But I didn’t—call it pride or anger. I wanted him to be the first to reach out, just this time.
“I can’t do this right now, P. I’m sorry,” Jeremy said, and then he turned and walked out the door.
Chapter22
Hansen
I came home to an empty house that night after my shift, remembering as I went to the fridge for a beer that Julia was working the night shift. I felt lonely suddenly, craving comfort and attention after the shitty day at the station. Both of my people would be fine, but the image of their still and unconscious faces haunted me. Despite the dick he could sometimes be, Korbin was my best friend and an excellent firefighter. How I could continue this work without him by my side seemed like an impossibility, and he hadn’t even been the only one who almost died today.
Paisley. Paisley had almost died, too, rushing into that building to save the one man that hated her the most. From the moment I’d met Paisley Hill, I knew she was different. I knew she’d make it onto my team because I could see the passion in her eyes, the dedication to a job she knew she wanted. After everything, all the taunting and the teasing and now a near-death experience, she was still ready—ready to run to the aid of anyone who needed her, biases aside. And I knew over everything else, that’s the kind of person we needed on the team—the person who helped the people who had shunned her for so long.
I sat in front of the TV but didn’t have the energy to turn it on. Instead, I grabbed the throw from the back of the couch and draped it over my lap, knowing that I’d probably end up falling asleep instead of in the bedroom. Once upon a time, our bedroom had been my favorite place, but recently it was difficult to be in there, and I couldn’t pinpoint why. Things had been tense between Julia and me for months, even before I’d ever met Paisley, and it was only worse now.
With a sigh, I took another drink of beer, fatigue washing over me. Hopefully, by the end of the weekend, things would be back to normal. That is if Paisley’s fiancé Jeremy even let her come back to work.
I didn’t pin Paisley as the passive type. I was sure no matter what Jeremy did or didn’t say about it, she’d do what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. After all, she’d done just that today. I didn’t know her well, she’d only been with us a few weeks, but the girl was a fighter. It didn’t take a genius to see that.
I was still mildly surprised that Paisley even had a fiancé. I shouldn’t have been because it was none of my business, but he’d never been mentioned, not in passing during her training, interviews, or even the swearing-in ceremony. I felt their relationship wasn’t solid, but it wasn’t my business. After meeting Jeremy, I thought he wasn’t as keen on her job as she was.
I leaned forward for my phone, checking the cell for any texts or missed calls from Julia. Before leaving the hospital, after I’d silenced her call, I’d called her back on the drive home, but she’d hadn’t answered. We often worked jobs together if more than one medic and the bus was needed, but there was rarely time for chit-chat. Sometimes that was okay. Today was one of those days, and I didn’t necessarily want to talk to her about Paisley tonight—or ever, actually. Had she been home, we would have already been hashing it out, and I didn’t have the energy for that.
As I checked my messages, my finger hovered over Paisley’s name in my contacts. An overwhelming urge to dial her up and ask how she was feeling consumed me, but somewhere down in the pit of my stomach, it went beyond that. I merely wanted to hear her voice. Our brief collision in the hall had been unsatisfactory and abrupt. I hadn’t been able to speak to her to make sure she was okay, that she wasn’t too shaken up. She’d been pulled away by her brooding fiancé. There had been no time.
As I sat there with my finger over the call button, I tried to convince myself that I had the same worry for all my crew; they all meant so much to me, and it wasn’t just Paisley I wanted to talk to. While I had no doubt that was all true, it wasn’t Korbin’s phone number I was getting ready to dial.
Clenching my jaw, I set my phone aside, knowing damn well Paisley’s fiancé wouldn’t appreciate me calling her up this late at night to chat with her. Before I could pull my hand away, however, the text notification pinged, and I drew it back to me, expecting an update from Julia. But it wasn’t from Julia. It was from Paisley.
Sorry about earlier.Jeremy was kind of rude.
I smiled despite myself and stared at the words on the screen, pondering the ways I could respond that might keep the conversation going.
You don’t need to keep the conversation going, I thought.She’s your employee, dumbass. Just send something simple back and be done with it.
I didn’t even know you had a fiancé.I typed back and hit send before I could talk myself out of it.
Jesus. Her personal life was none of my business. What was I doing?
Sorry, it’s not my business.I sent the second text before she had time to respond, then rubbed a hand over my face, trying to get a hold of myself. If I was the reason she quit, I’d never forgive myself.
There was no response for a few minutes, and it was about that time I was sure I’d scared her off. Mentally kicking myself, I set my phone aside and chugged the rest of my beer. We were treading on dangerous territory here for more reasons than just one.
A few minutes later, she replied.
He’s not very supportive of what I do, so it’s difficult to talk about it at work.
I stared at the text, torn as to whether I should answer. I was Paisley’s boss, captain of the fire department, and a conversation like this was off-limits.
And yet—yet I couldn’t ignore it, and I found my fingers typing up a response before I could stop myself. We were friends, weren’t we? I could still be her friend.
