I still do my best to drop a flower in her office once or twice a week and Elle has been going easy on me when we decide to watch a movie.
That decision may or may not have been influenced by an accidental gagging incident when Elle was trying todistractme during a particularly loud jumpscare. I learned a lot of new varieties for curse words that night.
I’ve had two more nightmares involving my parents and Elle but I’ve been able to calm myself semi-quickly once I wake up. I still have the urge to get to Elle as fast as possible and hold her in my arms until they fall off. I would never say no to holding Elle, just for the record. I just know I can’t scare her like I did that morning.
I’m pretty sure I love Elle and I don’t ever want to cause any negatives in her life. I’d rather give myself a thousand papercuts and take a lemon bath before being the cause of worry for her ever again.
Chapter Fifty-Seven
ELLE
This week fucking blows.
I’m on the tail end of my period, which means I’m in the awful will they won’t they stage where I’mprettysure my uterus is finished with it’s ‘everything must go’ sale but it might find some extra stock hidden in the back and push it out for the low low price of a pair of panties. Patrick has been amazing throughout the first time I’ve felt comfortable enough to share with him that Aunt Flo was here for a visit but there have been a few nights where the mix of cramps and overall icky feeling that made it impossible to have date nights.
On top of that, Patrick has been so busy with tours we’ve hardly had a chance to see each other. We do have our weekly meeting scheduled for later today but we weren’t able to make it work so we can have lunch together.
No, I have to miss the extra time with my wonderful boyfriend because my jerk ass fuck head of an ex requested a meeting. There is literally nothing I can think of that would call for our accountant to request a meeting.
The combination is causing a clusterfuck of irritation to boil my insides. I haven’t been able to get any work done and I was tempted to call Mabel or my mother to my office as a bufferbetween my anger and whatever bullshit Loop is planning on dropping on my desk.
To keep myself from having a stroke, I’ve been flipping through my flower notebook. I’ve been able to keep almost every flower Patrick has left at my desk and I frequently find myself going through the pages. I don’t know why I initially decided to collect all the flowers—maybe my subconscious knew how important my Intruder was actually going to be to me—but whenever I feel myself slipping into self-loathing or I’ve gone too long without a hit of my guy, just seeing this physical reminder that he thinks about me, that he has been thinking about me for so long, calms something in me that I didn’t know was going wild all these years.
“Grandma!”
My little brother’s voice scares the shit out of me as it bounces around the four walls of my office. “Damnit, Paul. What the hell was that for?” I do my best to subtly close my notebook and move it so it’s not in his line of sight but my brother is nothing if not a shit stirrer. His gaze immediately zeros in on my hands and a smirk tugs on the left side of his mouth. “I had to stop by the Big House to fix something for LJ, figured I’d come and visit my buddy’s girlfriend and offer to take her to lunch because buddy boy’s busy killing it at his tours.”
Pride swells in my chest at the reminder that Patrick is doing so well here but as decreed millennia ago, I cannot simply stand-by while my younger sibling calls my boyfriend his buddy. “Your buddy’s girlfriend? Seriously?” I push back from my desk and walk over to Paul, punching him in the arm. “Is that all I am to you?” Paul, always the drama king, lets out a dramatic yowl and clutches his arm with his opposite hand. I can’t stop my eyes from rolling but internally I let myself crack a smile.
It’s not lost on me that my relationships with my siblings have greatly improved since Patrick crashed into my life. I’vebeen putting in the work to be better around them but if Patrick hadn’t been so determined to break down my walls, I don’t think I would have been able to realize how far apart we had actually drifted.
“No,” Paul draws out the O, “You’re not only my buddy’s girl. My son seems to like you too.” I can’t stop the laugh that jumps out of me at his statement. “So, let me get this right, I’m only valuable in your eyes because Henry and Patrick like me?”
“Pretty much.” He shrugs so nonchalantly, I’d also believe him. “So, lunch? Your treat?”
I have no doubt that having lunch with Paul would turn my whole day around but Loop should be arriving soon, the thought brings a scowl to my face. “Woah, alright, we’ll go dutch. Your boyfriend actually bought dinner for me and Bennett last guy’s night. I’m flush with cash.”
“I’d really love to but I have a meeting that I can’t miss. Use that cash my boyfriend saved you and see if Anika and Henry want to go to lunch.” I see a flicker of emotion in Paul’s eyes and I wonder if it’s because I’m turning down his invitation or because of who I offered up as an alternative.
“Trust me, I’d lov?—”
“Since when have you had a boyfriend?” I was so focused on Paul, I hadn’t noticed Loop walking in. His face is red and his arms are crossed against his chest. I feel Paul’s body tense next to me. “That’s not really an appropriate question for an accountant.” All traces of my fun-loving brother have disappeared, his tone brittle.
“Oh come off it, Paul. This has nothing to do with you.” Loop’s arms drop to his sides but his hands are fisted and his eyebrows are almost kissing with how deeply he has them furrowed.
“As I’ve said before, it’s none of your business. Our relationship is only professional. You have no right to mypersonal life anymore.” My voice comes out stronger than I actually feel. I’m glad Paul is here, Loop’s reaction to simply a mention of me having a romantic partner is unexpected. I’ve never seen him this angry before and I can’t stop a drop of fear from running through my blood. “Elle, you don’t mean that. I know you didn’t mean those texts either.” He’s trying to seem more relaxed but his face is still red and his fists are still clenched.
“Good thing you didn’t go into acting, you donut.” Paul takes a step toward him, it’s subtle but I think he also moves his body to the side so he’s blocking part of me from Loop. “I think this meeting is cancelled. I’m taking Elle to lunch. Please let your boss know Warren Farms will be requesting a new contact as soon as possible.” I’m speechless at Paul’s words.
“Shut up, Paul! You don’t even work for the Farm. You need to leave so I can talk to Elle.” This situation is escalating and all I want is to get Loop out of my office. Off of my family farm and out of my fucking life. “Don’t you dare talk to my brother like that,Hyrum.”I shoulder my way past Paul and jab my finger into Loop’s chest. “You have no right to speak about my family or our business. Paul’s right, we’ll be requesting a new accountant effective immediately. Get out of my office and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”
Loop’s hand encircles the finger I jabbed him with, his grip isn’t hurting me but it’s tight enough I can’t pull it back. “Ellie belly, you don’t mean that. Come on.” He tugs his arm back, pulling me into his body.
Is it possible for time to slow down and speed up at the same time? I hear Paul shout to let me go but Loop ignores him, mumbling that he’s going to remind me how good we are together. His mouth is on me and before I can rear back and slap the shit out of him, the door opens again and my eyes connect with Patrick.
He was smiling but once he takes in Loop’s arms around me—his disgusting fish lips pressed against mine—it’s like all the joy drains from his body. As quick as he appeared, he’s gone.
And I feel my heart crack in half.
