As I’m power walking to my car, Honey Cat dashes in front of me. I’m thankful she stopped me from stepping in that fucking gopher hole that hasn’t been filled yet but I didn’t have the bandwidth to reach out to ask it to be addressed,again.
“Not now, baby girl. Go find the Intruder. He’ll take care of you.” I don’t think getting snuggles from my cat would help the storm brewing in my head. I know I won’t be able to forget about all the times I’ve seen her trailing after Patrick as he travels around the farm.
Or the adorable times he would come into the office with Honey Cat resting on his shoulders. Or how he had bought a cat tree to mark Honey Cat’s official place. Fuck, my Intruder hadeven stolen the comfort of my pet. This was not okay. How had I let someone integrate themselves into my life so thoroughly?
This was why I didn’t want to loan out office space in the first fucking place!
I can’t do this.
Once I’m home, I push my skirt off my hips, letting it pool on the floor in my entryway. I’m once again thankful for the shorts I wear constantly under my skirts. I unhook my bra and fling it over my shoulder, I’ll pick it up at some point.
I turn off the sound on my phone, place it on my bedside table and crawl into bed. I tuck myself in and try my best to close out my spiraling thoughts. I just need some time away from everyone to get my head on straight.
I don’t think I can continue with how things are going with Patrick. I can’t put my family or our farm in jeopardy. He would have so much power over the Farm when things ended and they would end. He might think he likes my gruff nature now but eventually, he would get tired of me. Or worse, start to resent me.
I don’t think I would survive it.
No. I should stop this before it gets any worse. This could only end badly.
My nose burns and my eyesight gets blurry, so I squeeze them shut, only letting a singular tear fall at the thought of pushing Patrick away.
Chapter Forty-Two
PATRICK
Elle wasn’t answering my calls and I was starting to get worried. She had originally said she was leaving work early and planned to be off the next day. That was yesterday but there had been no sign of Elle today. I had gotten worried so I reached out to Lola and Mabel.
They both tried to hide looks of concern from me before letting me know she was still fighting a bug. They were quick to tell me she had told everyone to stay away, though, she was pretty sure she was contagious and didn’t want anyone catching what she had, Mabel had stopped by her house but Elle had refused to open the door, texting Mabel to say her house was a petri dish and she couldn’t come in.
Like I cared about getting sick when I haven’t been able to see Elle in 3 days.
My brain was a mess. The high of thinking about getting to spend the night with Elle, being able to pull her body into mine while we slept, to the crash of being worried about her and her health then not being able to talk with her. Not being able to check in with her and take care of her was causing a tightness in my chest.
If I gave myself the chance to put my worry aside, I would probably be freaked out by how much I craved being in Elle’s presence. When I wasn’t spending my nights with her, I was venturing out and getting more comfortable in this new state.
I’d spent a few nights at the bunkhouse on property playing assorted games and smack talking the employees I’ve had meals with at the Big House. Paul had even invited me out to have dinner with him and his friend, Bennett. Apparently, Bennett worked with Henry’s mother and had been a friend to them both since high school.
Bennett also had a son, Luka, who Anika was watching now with Henry. Bennett and Paul laughed about how Anika was the only one who was brave enough to make slime with their boys.
I noticed, not for the first time, a different energy coming from Paul when he talked about Anika. Bennett made no comment about Luka’s mother and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask a question like that the first time I met the guy.
It was nice to be making real friends.
I wouldn’t acknowledge the hollow feeling in my stomach that started when Paul and Bennett talked about their sons and the different pre-schools they were each considering. As they went on, my mind wandered and I thought about Elle with a baby. Would it look like Henry? He was Paul’s miniature and Elle shared the same coloring outside of their eyes. Paul and Lola have blue eyes that I’ve been told came from their father.
Elle had told me one night that the reason a lot of the Farm employees called Lola LJ as a sort of an inside joke. Their father was Paul Senior, which of course, meant that Paul—her twin—went by PJ since childhood but it was Lola who really took after their father. Lola was the only one with blonde hair and the theory was it had lightened, like Senior, while she followed him around the Farm as soon as she learned how to walk.
From what Elle said, Paul never had any interest in running the Farm, Mabel was too crafty and she only cared about making sure all the paperwork was handled but Lola took the role with both hands and made it her bitch, Elle’s words.
Elle would make an amazing mother and it would be funny as all get out to hear our kid swear like their mother and have no idea what it meant. Mama D would be horrified but it would be hilarious.
That had been a fun dinner outside of my brief wandering thoughts. Bennett seemed like a cool guy and he had told Paul he should invite me along again next time. I would be happy to have dinner with these guys again, if it didn’t interfere with any plans I had with Elle.
If Elle ever returned my messages.
That was it. If she wouldn’t return my texts or call, if she wasn’t back in the office by Monday, I was going to beg Mama D for her spare key to Elle’s house so I could check on her. I needed to make sure she was okay. I was done accepting secondhand updates when it came to my girl.
My mind made up, I made myself comfortable on my couch and turned on my tv. I still had 3 seasons of Elle’s show and if I couldn’t be with her, at least I could take comfort in something I knew she enjoyed.
