Loop: I can’t stop thinking about how this may have upset you.
LAST WEEK
Loop: You must be busy. I get it. I want to talk to you about something. Can I come over Ellie belly?
TODAY
Loop: Elle, I can’t get you out of my head. I want to take you out. I miss you.
A mix of confusion and anger swirls in my stomach. He misses me? Is he fucking kidding? It’s been years since there has been even a hint of anything more than a business relationship between the two of us. Any romantic feelings for Loop had died before we broke-up, it was the reason I decided I didn’t want to be with him anymore.
I’ve never thought of him in that way again and had made myself clear when he started working for my family that there would be nothing between us besides the working relationship required of us.
You’d think the total lack of response would speak volumes but apparently he’s not getting the hint and I have no fucking clue what to do.
I want to ask my siblings for advice but there are so many complications because he’s an employee. It could open us up to some legal problems.
Shit.
Was I being reckless with Patrick, too? He was an employee, the newest employee to our company. He hadn't even beenworking for the Farm for a month before I forced myself on him when we were stuck in our building overnight.
Did he feel like he had to spend time with me because of my last name? He’d always seem enthusiastic but wasn’t it because I was always initiating intimacy between us?
Fuck, shit, goddamnit.
I grab my phone and send off two messages, one to Patrick.
Me: Hey, I’m going to have to cancel tonight. I think I’m getting sick and don’t want you to catch anything.
Patrick: Oh no! I can bring you some medicine or soup?
Me: No. No, I’ll be okay. I just want to rest.
The second to my family group chat.
Me: I think I caught a bug. I’m going home for the day and will probably be out tomorrow too. Nothing pressing on my end so this won’t cause any delays.
Mama: My poor baby. Do you want to come to the Big House and let me take care of you?
Paul: That sucks, Grandma. Let me know if you need help with anything.
Mabel: I can come over once I finish getting this week’s market inventory ready.
Me: No need for anyone to make any changes in their schedules. I just want to rest.
Lola: If that changes, let us know.
Mama: I’ll check in with you later. Don’t forget medicine before you lay down. Love you kids.
Paul: Love you Mama.
Mabel:
Lola: Love you.
Me: Love you all.
I can only hope that my family, and Patrick, actually leave me alone. So much has been changing with all of my relationships and thinking about it is making my head spin. I waste no time gathering my things.
