Sweet baby Jesus.
“Coming!” I can hear my sisters chatting about what they wanted to order. “I’m going to need french fries if you two are going to make me do this.” I grumble out as I splay out across the couch, scowling at my sisters but there was no fire behind my expression.
It was a weird feeling, wanting to actually share things with my sisters and them seeming like they were actually invested in what I had to share. “Of course! French fries, pizza, brownies.” Lola picked up the phone to place our order.
“My vote is you bone him.” Mabel offers a quick nod with her statement, like she actually put some thought into it. “Of-fucking-course that’s your vote. You’re almost as bad as Paul.” Lola’s eyes widen at my words and she starts to scramble around the floor. “Oh my god! We need to call Paul. I need to know what you two looked like all snuggled up on the couch.” Mabel cackles and I groan. “I have to pee and I definitely don’t want to hear this.” I disentangled myself from my sisters, we somehow had tangled our legs together while eating.
It was nice to be connected to them like that but they were not making my escape easy. Lola had put her phone on speaker and the ringing was like an electric shock to my chest. I really really did not want to hear Paul’s recounting of this morning.
“LJ! How is my favorite twin?” Paul answers with his regular greeting to our sister but I shut the door and turn on the faucet before I can hear anymore.
I take a look at myself in the mirror, focusing on my pink cheeks and messy hair. My heart’s racing but there’s a warmth that is starting to spread as well.
I could hear my siblings talking through the door but thankfully, I can’t make out any words. It feels like a weight has lifted off my shoulders, a weight that’s been on my shoulders for as long as I could remember. Is this what I had been missing out on? I’d never been as close to my siblings as they had been with each other but our recent hike and this trip has opened my eyes. My siblings wanted to be close to me but I had closed myself off from connecting with them.
A soft knock on the bathroom door pulls me out of my thoughts, “Bubs, Paul has Henry on the phone, They want to tell you goodnight.” My heart clenches and my nose starts to burn but I turn off the water and open the door. Lola has a soft smile on her face as she hands the phone to me.
“How’s my favorite guy?” I can hear Henry’s tinkling laugh.
“Nuh-night Aunt EEEE.”
“Good night sweet boy.”
“Henry, go give your mama a kiss before bed.” I hear Henry agree and then it’s just me and my brother. “Hey Grandma. Don’t freak out too much. I didn’t see anything.” I can hear the smirk in his voice but it’s also filled with sincerity. “Thanks PJ. Is…did you…” I can’t force the question out, it feels like my throat is closing up but he gets what I’m trying to ask. “He seemed fine when Jude and I confronted him.”
“You what?! Paul, what the hell did you do?”
“Slow your roll Grandma, he was a gentleman. Told Jude and I whatever did or didn’t happen was none of our business and if you wanted to share, we would know then and only then.”
It’s not often I’m stunned silent but I am. The familiar burning in my stomach that I’ve come to associate with thinking of Patrick is back. “He’s a good guy, you know.” I nod before I realize it’s not a video call. “Yeah, I’m starting to accept that he might be.”
Paul leaves us in silence for a pause before breaking my heart, just a little bit. “Don’t know if he’s good enough for you, though. You’re one of a kind, big sister.” I don’t know how to respond to that, my voice is a croak when I tell him goodnight for real.
The rest of the night is not as heavy. Lola turned on an old movie we used to watch as kids and we just relaxed. I’m nodding off when Mabel taps me on the shoulder. “Time for bed Bubs, lots to do tomorrow. I nod and scoop up a blanket and some pillows from the floor before shuffling into the room I had claimed when we first arrived. I fall into bed and fall asleep as soon as I pull the blankets up to my chin.
Chapter Thirty-Three
PATRICK
This show was so good. I had spent the rest of the day binge watching it, the only reason I stopped was because I had started to fall asleep on my couch. I wasn’t that old but I couldn’t sleep in not a bed for a second night and expect to not be in crazy pain when tomorrow comes.
I check my phone as I make my way to my bedroom.
Mabel W: Dang Patrick, didn’t know you had it in you. Elle totally has a crush on you. Keep up the effort!
She told her sisters? She told her sisters and Mabel was encouraging me to keep trying? This was good… Right?
I wish I wouldn’t have looked, I should have just gone to bed.
Me: Thanks…Is she okay?
Mabel W: She’s nervous but she liiiiikes you.
Me: I like her too.
Mabel W: Yeah you do!
Did I really just text that?? I shouldn’t have texted that. What if Mabel tells Elle? That’s not the way I wanted Elle to find out. God, I hoped she at least had some idea after our night together.
