Chapter Twenty-Two
By the time Tuesdayrolled around, I was already dreading the tutoring session.I had managed to avoid Paxon until then, but I still had more work that needed to be done, and I really didn’t want to talk with Principal Calgary again.
I was already at Seth’s, in his kitchen, staring at the clear electric kettle.The bottom was lit up blue while the water worked to boil.I let it pull me in and keep me distracted so I didn’t have to think so hard about being in the same space as Paxon for the rest of the evening.
The moment I heard the front door open and the sound of Bebe giving the new person his enthusiastic greeting, all of me went tight.Paxon came in, still looking down at Bebe, giving him a bunch of attention.He looked up briefly, managing a small nod before glancing back down at the dog.His hair was a little messy and there were dark circles under his eyes.
“Tea?”I asked softly.
For a moment, I didn’t think he heard me, but then he replied, “Yeah, that sounds good.Thank you.”
“Yeah.”I turned back to the counter.There were already two mugs there in case he had wanted one too.As soon as the water finished, I filled the mug and dropped tea bags in them.I wasn’t even sure which flavors they were.Seth had a cupboard full of them.I just hoped it was something with calming effects.
Once we were ready, we settled in the living room.Seth was still out, helping his aunt with something, so he was going to be back late.It was just the two of us as we sat across from each other and spread out our books.The silence that followed was heavy enough to drown the whole room.
We went through the motions, reviewing the formulas, diagrams, and examples.None of it landed with me though.My brain kept tripping over his voice, over how careful he was being with every word, like one wrong beat would set me off.
“Okay,” he said, flipping a page.“Let’s try this one.You just need to find the final velocity—”
“I know what I need to do,” I cut in, sharper than I meant to.
He blinked, startled.“Right.Sorry.I was just—”
“Helping,” I said, my voice brittle.“I know.”
The seconds dragged on.He looked like he wanted to say something else but thought better of it.I could feel the air shifting, thick and unsteady.
After another few minutes of pretending to study, I couldn’t take it anymore.
“This isn’t working,” I said, pushing the book away.“You aren’t actually helping me.”
Paxon’s eyebrows pulled together.“What are you talking about?We’ve barely started—”
“That’s not what I mean.”My hands were shaking, so I folded them together to hide it.“You don’t even want to be here.You’re just doing this because you were guilted into it.”
“That’s not true.”His voice was low, rough.
“Isn’t it?”
He flinched, like the words hit harder than I expected.“I do want to help,” he said.“I just...I don’t know how to be around you anymore.”
That cracked something open in me.“Then stop acting like I’m the one who changed everything.”
He froze.The silence between us stretched thin enough to snap.He opened his mouth, maybe to argue, maybe to apologize, but then his jaw clenched.
“Okay,” he said quietly.
