“He’s losing her,” Bryan finally said with a rough voice.
I wished I could tell him that wasn’t the case, but I didn’t know anything anymore.It felt all too much like he was willing to throw away our friendship too.I knew this wasn’t going to be easy, that we’d have our challenges, but I didn’t think it’d be like this.I had never considered that maybe one of us really wasn’t interested in a poly relationship.I had never dreamed of a future where Paxon and the others weren’t in it and now Paxon was challenging that oversight.
Chapter Twelve
Iwoke up with thekind of emptiness that clung to me, heavy and slow.And for the first time in a long while, my back agreed with me.I’d been doing better for weeks with good news after good news from my doctor.Shorter pain flares, lighter mornings.But today, it was like my body had rewound time and brought me right back to the day I woke in the hospital, barely able to move without feeling like something inside of me was tearing apart.
I lay there for a few minutes, staring at the ceiling, waiting for the ache to dull.It didn’t.It throbbed, slow and deep, pulsing in time with my heartbeat.
My medication was downstairs.I’d forgotten to bring it up again, like I always promised I would.
Getting up hurt more than it should have.Every motion felt like I was dragging my body through water.I moved slowly down the stairs.The house was still and quiet.
The kitchen light was too bright when I flipped it on.I squinted against it, tugging open a cabinet and finding my medication.I shook out two Gabapentin capsules before grabbing a glass of water from the sink and swallowing them.
I cursed myself for being so dumb in putting my heating pad in a lower cabinet.I went over to the couch, plugged it in, and pressed the growing warmth against my lower back, breathing out slowly as it seeped through the ache.
When the pain finally dulled to something manageable, I made a simple breakfast, keeping it to toast and fruit.Something easy to eat.The food didn’t taste like anything.
The drive to school was grey and drizzly and made me feel even sleepier.
Parking was quiet, no one was hanging around outside.I went inside and found the guys at the lockers.Bryan was leaning against the lockers, cleaning his glasses.Justin scrolled on his phone.Toby was saying something fast and animated with another student.
Bryan noticed me first.“Morning.”
I managed a smile that felt like paper.“Morning.”
Toby grinned.“Candy.You good today?”
“Yeah,” I said.
Justin studied me quietly, his head tilting as he took in all the signs I was clearly broadcasting.He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t have to.He could probably see it all—the tightness in my smile, the way I was hunched like that’d release the stiff pain in my back.
“You sure you’re okay?”Bryan asked finally.
“My back’s acting up,” I said, adjusting my bag.“I took something.I’ll be fine.”
