Bryan snorted.“Could’ve fooled me.”
Paxon’s jaw tightened.“You think I don’t feel like shit already?You think I like this?”
“And what exactly is this?”Bryan challenged.“What the fuck is going on in your head that you’re willing to destroy Cadence over it?”
I exhaled, pinching the bridge of my nose.“Look.You’ve always been a protector in this group.You always want to take care of everyone.The one who jumps in when someone else needs help.But this silence?It’s doing the opposite.You’re not protecting anyone.You’re pushing her away because you’re scared of what happens if you don’t.”
That hit something.I saw it in the way his throat worked as he swallowed hard.
I pressed on.“She’d rather end things with all of us than risk breaking the group apart, Pax.That’s the direction she’s being pushed in.I see it every time she watches us and she sees the strain in our relationship.That’s her biggest fear.She doesn’t want to be in anyone’s way.She doesn’t want to force anyone into anything.She’s terrified she’s ruining everything.”
He looked away.“Maybe she’s right.”
“What the fuck?”Bryan slammed both his palms on the table, making the mug rattle.He leaned over Paxon, all his muscles straining as he held himself back.“She’s not right, and you damn well know it.You’re the one fucking things up because you’re too chicken shit to talk.I don’t give a fuck if you don’t want to date her or not.What I care about is that you’re dragging this out so long that it’s ruining all our chances.Fucking man up and face your damn emotions already.I refuse to lose her just because you’re too busy being a fucking wuss.”
“I don’t think I can do this,” Paxon said finally, voice hoarse.
For too long, there was complete silence as his words settled around us.
“Then talk to her,” Bryan croaked out.“You need to talk to her and stop acting like she’s the one who hurt you when you know it isn’t true.She hasn’t done anything and yet you’re dragging her around.”
Paxon looked away from us, his shoulders slumping.“It doesn’t matter anyways.”
I frowned.“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?”
He hesitated, eyes darting toward the window, like he was looking for a way out.Then he exhaled slowly, except this time he was in his own home.He wasn’t getting away so easily this time.“Because I might not even be around.”
Bryan’s anger faltered, confusion flashing across his face.“What the hell does that mean?”
“There’s a program,” Paxon said, rubbing the back of his neck.“An internship I’m being recommended for through the psych teacher at school.I took his class last year and talked a lot about what I wanted to do in the future, and he’s been essentially mentoring me since.He wrote me a recommendation for the program.It’s tied to a university in Oregon.If I get in, I’ll have to move there.If it goes well, I could work with a hospital to gain experience while attending school.”
I stared at him, my brain catching up.“Oregon.That’s across the country.”That was the only response I could come up with, like I was breaking the news to him.Like he didn’t know where Oregon was.
He nodded.“I know.”
Bryan threw his hands up.“So that’s it?You’re just going to vanish?That’s your big plan?Fuck all your friends and family?”
“I’m not sure it’ll happen,” Paxon said.“But I can’t act like it won’t change things.You all have your lives here.She does too.I can’t ask her to wait for something that might not happen.”
My frustration finally cracked.“So your solution is to hurt her now before she even gets a choice?That’s pretty fucking cowardly, man.”
Paxon’s jaw twitched.He didn’t argue, which somehow made it worse.
I stepped closer, lowering my voice.“You still have time to fix this.But you need to talk to her.Don’t wait until she decides it’s too late for both of you.”
He didn’t answer, just stared down at the table.
Bryan muttered a curse under his breath and pushed away from the counter.“You’re unbelievable,” he said, shaking his head.“You think running will make it easier?It won’t.You’re going to lose her, and you’ll lose us too if you keep this up.”
Paxon didn’t move.
I looked at him one last time before turning for the door.“We’re not giving up on you,” I said quietly.“But you need to decide if you’re still part of this.Moving to Oregon isn’t the end of the world.People make long distance work, but you need to be ready to work for it.If you don’t want to do that, then you need to let Cadence know.I have a feeling she’s willing to do it.She isn’t the type to just delete someone she cares about out of her life over something like that.Look at all the shit her mother put her through, and she still continues to face her.But if you continue to treat her like you have been, you’ll go too far.”
When we stepped outside, the rain had paused again.I sighed and ran a hand over my head before going to the truck.
Bryan slammed the truck door as he climbed in, muttering curses under his breath again.I started the engine, too confused to yell at him about treating my truck like that.I tried to put the gear into drive, but my hands didn’t want to move.
I glanced back at the house, seeing Paxon standing in the doorway, lit up by the porch light.He didn’t wave.Didn’t move.Just stood there, watching us.
