Toby closed his mouth, his lips pressing into a tight line before he swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing.His chest expanded as he drew in a measured breath and then slowly released it.His grip on my hand tightened as his gaze darted to Seth and Justin before coming back to me.
When his shoulders slumped in resignation, I knew he pushed back his instincts and what he was going to say was going to suck, but it was at least going to be the truth.“No.I’m not okay.”His voice was rough as he blinked hard.“I wanted to see them today.But I get it.I do.So I’m going to enjoy my day with you guys and tomorrow I get to give my parents a hug and I get to see Austin.So it’ll be okay.This is second best scenario.”
“Just because it’s second best doesn’t mean it can’t suck,” Seth said, coming over and squeezing Toby’s shoulder.“Once I can make sure Cadence won’t burn anything, I’ll bring you over to at least see them for a few minutes.”
Toby’s eyes widened.“You don’t need to do that.”
“I’m doing it,” Seth said firmly.“You’ll still see them tomorrow, but at least you also get to see them for a little bit today.Say hello and give them a hug.Make sure they’re at least doing okay.”
Toby’s jaw worked as he tried to process Seth’s offer.“Ok—” Toby coughed.He nodded, his voice cracking as he said, “Okay.Thank you.”
He turned away abruptly, trying to fight from breaking down right then and there.His back was stiff, shoulders trembling as he fought to keep his emotions in check.
I didn’t think, my instincts taking over.I closed the distance between us, wrapping my arms around him from behind and pressing my head against his broad back, feeling the tense muscles beneath my cheek.“It’s okay,” I murmured.“You don’t have to hold it all in.”
Toby’s breathing hitched, and for a long moment, he didn’t move.Then his hands came up to rest over mine where they were clasped around him.
Justin chimed in quietly, breaking the heavy silence.“You’ve got us, man.”
Toby nodded, not trusting himself to speak, but the subtle shake of his shoulders gave him away.He didn’t let go of my hands, and I held him tighter, willing him to feel that he wasn’t alone in this.
It was quiet while we let Toby have the time and support he needed.Then I felt Toby’s chest move as he took another deep breath and exhaled shakily.“I don’t deserve you guys,” he whispered.
“It’s never about deserving,” I said, not loosening my hold on him.
We stayed like that for another minute before Toby finally pulled away from me.He turned, giving me a hug.
He shook his head and chuckled, lightly smacking his cheeks.“Okay.”He nodded.“Okay.Let’s enjoy now and if you really mean it, I’ll take you up on that offer.I’d like to at least see them briefly today.”
“Of course,” Seth said.“Ready whenever you are.”
“I thought you had to make sure Cadence doesn’t burn anything.”
“I would never do that,” I said.
Both Toby and Seth looked at me with similar expressions of disbelief.
“I’m not that bad,” I argued.
Everyone laughed while I pouted.To prove my point, I went back to making the apple pie.Dad taught me how to make it so I was confident I could at least pull that off.
Seth put the others to work and then went to check in on his parents and Janice with a tray of drinks for them.
Toby happily took over cutting some vegetables for the platter, eating more of it than he was putting on the platter itself.Justin was peeling potatoes to be mashed.
“Thank you,” I said to them.“For the presents under the tree.”
“Presents?”Toby gave me an innocent confused look.“Sounds like Santa came to visit you.”
I snorted.“Right.Well, either way, I’m grateful.I can’t remember the last time I had real presents under the tree.”
“As opposed to fake ones?”Toby asked.
“Empty boxes with pretty wrapping paper so visitors could feel the holiday spirit,” I replied.
Justin made a small grunting sound.“What do you normally do for Christmas?”
I thought about that.“Mostly, Lindie would throw a party at the house with all our big important clients.Shower them in expensive gifts.I’d sing some holiday songs.”I shrugged.“It’s the perfect time to make connections.”
