“He’s coming in,” I said, grabbing Paxon’s arm and squeezing.He arched a brow, clearly entertained, and grabbed my hand, letting me squeeze his fingers before I bruised his arm.
We went over to the door just as it was opening.Aunt Laura came in first, giving me a little hidden thumbs up, then she stepped to the side and Justin came in.
His eyes met mine instantly, his dark blue eyes exhausted.All of him looked tired.Between his dad dying and swim season starting, he was spread thin.We all felt it, and did what we could to give him his space.
As long as he didn’t ghost me like he did last month.That had nearly destroyed me and made me realize how much I couldn’t stand the idea of being abandoned without a word.My dad had done it to me.My mom even, in her own way.I couldn’t handle others in my life doing the same.
Once Justin saw me, his shoulders relaxed slightly, and then he finally looked around the space.The entryway didn’t have much to it.We did add his favorite colors to the decorations, adding in different shades of green throw pillows, picture frames had some green to them too, and someone even brought in some fake green plants.Not too much green.
“How was morning practice?”I asked, feeling nervous and shy, not really sure what to say.
“Good, Coach went easy on us.”
“I don’t know if I’d call that easy,” Aunt Laura mumbled.
“Are you ready?”I asked.
He swallowed hard, his gaze flickering at everyone here.He paused on some people, noting who was here for him.I could tell without him saying it, that he appreciated it.His body slowly relaxed when he realized he had more people on his side than he’d probably thought, people who cared to take time to come to an event like this.
“Okay,” he whispered.
That was all the response he could give so I stepped to the side and motioned toward the living room.
As soon as Justin went into the room and saw what we’d done, he took in a harsh breath and practically stepped back.He looked like he wanted to run away, so I stepped to his side and locked my fingers with his.He leaned into me as he stood there and took it all in.
No one said anything, letting him have this moment to himself.
On the furthest wall, we had covered the windows with green, leaf-print curtains.Over that was a huge, white ‘screen’ that currently had the opening slide of the slideshow on it.It was just a title slide with a photo of Justin’s family on the left side and on the right, it said, ‘Today, we remember the Deason family.’Below that was a quote I’d picked out and thought was perfect for the occasion.‘The world changes from year to year, our lives from day to day, but the love and memory of you, shall never pass away.’
Justin didn’t move for a long time before he finally looked at the wall.He moved closer, starting to the left.All along the walls were photos.Tons and tons of photos of his mom, his dad, his sister, of him, of all of them.It started with the wedding photo of his parents, his mom’s pregnancy and his birth as well as his little sister’s, all of them together.I stayed by his side as he slowly made his way around the whole room, pausing at different photos.
In the corner, just before the screen, we had set up a small altar with tea candles.There were four photos—three individual portraits and then a family photo.Justin stopped in front of them for a moment, and I thought right then and there, he was going to break down.Instead of falling apart, he reached for the lighter and lit the middle candle.
When he set the lighter down, I gently took it and lit the candle to its right.There was a soft rustling of bodies as the others all lined up to take their turn, each with solemn expressions.One by one, they moved around the room, lighting a candle in between looking at the photos.
By the time we made it back to the entrance, his eyes were shining with tears.And if his cheeks were wet from some that escaped, no one made mention of it.When Justin reached the last photo—his mom and sister outside in the snow, taken the year his sister died—he lingered.Then, without a word, he turned to me, pulled me into a hug, and held on tight.His whole body shuddered against me, and I wrapped my arms around him as my own tears fell.Before I could register who moved first, we were surrounded.In an instant we were in one big group hug with Justin and me squished in the middle.
And we stayed that way until Justin finally said, “Okay, get off me now.”
We chuckled as we pulled away.Justin’s eyes were still glistening, but he was smiling and his face was a little red from embarrassment.
“This is more than anything I ever expected,” he said.
“But it’s exactly what you need,” Paxon said.
I glanced around, noting how many eyes were glistening and how many people were crying.That was when I realized this wasn’t just about Justin’s loss but also those who knew his family.From what I knew, Justin’s parents had been good friends with George and Aunt Laura.And through the chaos of losing Ariel and then the chaos of losing Justin’s mom, no one really had the chance to mourn the loss.
This moment had been twelve years in the making for everyone.
Bryan started the slideshow.Copies of the photos on the walls flashed across the screen while soft, low music played in the background.
I followed Seth, Paxon, and Toby to the kitchen where we started handing out drinks—letting the people choose between hot apple cider or coffee.Once everyone had a drink in hand, George took over.
“Raegan Deason was my friend from high school.She was a bright light amidst the bullshit of high school drama.When she met Trent, she glowed so much I thought she became a sun.She was the sweetest woman I have ever known.I remember when Justin was just born and I went to the hospital to check in on her.She was on her hospital bed, bawling her eyes out.It took me forever to calm her down.Turned out, she was crying because she didn’t know what to do with her emotions.She was completely overwhelmed with happiness about her little boy.In a span of fifteen minutes before she calmed down enough to tell me why she was crying, I genuinely thought her world may have ended and that maybe Justin was dead.I was preparing my heart for her to tell me he had died.That was how hard she had been crying—like her world had ended.”
That got some chuckles from everyone.
We all raised our drinks to the air in honor of Raegan before taking a drink.After George told his story, others were more than happy to jump in with one of their own.It was mind blowing and heartwarming to hear all these positive stories shared of lives I knew nothing about.All I knew was the product of those lives in Justin.
