Then we walked around.
“Should we circle around first and look before we buy?”I asked.
“That actually sounds smart.I usually buy as I see what I want, but then later on realize there’s something else that would work better.”
We stayed close together as we slowly walked by the stalls.The setup was simple—stalls lined up in two neat rows, facing each other, making it easy to browse both sides as we walked.The path wound around the field in a loop, and by the time we reached the end, we had circled back near the entrance.
There were many jewelry vendors and those selling their art.But there were also other things like homemade carved dishware, puzzle boxes, clothes, and candles.Tons of candles, actually.Perfumes.Wellness products.Lots of food and drink choices.Bakeries.Books.
One of my favorite stalls had books turned into hidden lockboxes.They could easily be hidden on the shelf with other books and no one would know otherwise.
There was also a spot for people to buy Christmas trees.As we walked by, I watched as a truck unloaded more trees.There had been some people walking by carrying their smaller trees.It seemed if someone got a bigger one, they were able to pull up their vehicle and get help loading it.
“Okay,” Bryan said.“Do you know what you want to buy now?”
“Yeah, I have a few ideas,” I said and then took lead, bringing Bryan to a clothing vendor and automatically picking out more shirts for Seth.
“I don’t think he needs more of these,” Bryan said.
I laughed.“Well, I may now have my own drawer full of his shirts, so I need to replenish what I stole.”
“Right.And are these going to end up in your drawer too?”
“Definitely not this one.”I lifted up a black shirt that said ‘Warning, I am taken.Don’t flirt with me.It’s for your own safety.’
Bryan laughed as I went to the man working and made my purchase.Bryan didn’t even let me have a chance to grab the bag, already claiming it when the guy held it out.
As we were leaving, I glanced over, trying to figure out where the next vendor was when I accidentally met eyes with a guy with short, blonde hair.He wore a Christmas sweater with bulbs that lit up.He smiled at me, so I politely smiled back as he leaned over and said something to his friend.His friend looked at me.
“I want to stop here,” Bryan said, pointing across the way.
“Okay,” I said distractedly, letting him lead as I followed.I glanced back and noticed both of the guys still looking at me.
With everything that had happened in the last few months, my stomach dropped and my skin prickled in warning.I had to be paranoid.They were only being friendly, doing that thing people do when you accidentally make eye contact with them and just want to flash them a friendly smile.Like saying ‘Hey, I acknowledge you.What a crazy ride we’re on, right?’
“Are you okay?”Bryan asked.
“Yeah.”
Bryan raised an eyebrow, challenging me.
“Okay.Maybe I’m being a little paranoid since we’re out in public and around so many people.”I shrugged, suddenly feeling a bit defensive.“It’s going to come with the territory.”
Bryan picked up on the tone and stopped walking.“Cadence?”
“What?”Even I grimaced at how sharp the word came out.
Bryan stiffened completely as he stuffed his hands into his coat pocket.He glanced around and didn’t see anything abnormal because there was nothing to see.I was just being paranoid and I hated that.
Hated that now whenever someone showed basic human kindness my mind was already second guessing and trying to figure out their intentions.
Bryan licked his lips and seemed to need to think about his words for a moment.Maybe he was trying to figure out how to talk to a crazy girl about to flip her shit.
“Cadence, it really is okay to not be okay.To feel paranoid.After all the shit that has happened, I don’t blame you.Do you want to leave?Do you need a quiet place without people around?What do you need?Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”
His assurance did wonders and suddenly I felt like I wanted to cry.Why the heck were my emotions all over the place right now?
I blew out a breath, closed my eyes, and did the thing Dr.Arason told me to do.She told me to voice my feelings and concerns more often, and looking at Bryan, I think I finally understood.
