I did. Nine more months before we finally got the date.
"You said, and I quote, 'We stay until they can't ignore us anymore.'" He leaned forward. "We stayed because leaving would have meant they won."
"This is different."
"How?" His voice was soft but firm. "Someone could always die. Every time we perform, someone could panic and stampede. Safety is a lie we tell ourselves to climb onstage, show after show. The only real choice is who gets to decide what risks we take."
I stared at him.
"If you leave, Soo-jin decides. Management decides. The system decides." He reached forward and touched my forearm. "If you stay, you decide. We decide. Together."
Unshed tears burned at the corners of my eyes.
"I don't know how to stay when staying feels selfish," I said.
"Staying isn't selfish. Leaving is."
I heard what he was saying.
Leaving would make it easier. For me. I wouldn't have to worry about the adjustments. Wouldn't have to face Griffin knowing I was the reason they were questioning his competence.
I could pretend I was protecting everyone. In reality, I was trying to escape.
"There isn't a clear right answer," I said.
"No." Jinwoo smiled slightly. "There's only what we choose. And I'm choosing to keep you here. With us. Where you belong."
It wasn't a demand. It was leadership.
I nodded slowly. "Yes."
"Yes?"
"I'll stay." The words were fragile in my mouth. "For now."
"For now is enough." He checked his phone. "Call time in ninety minutes. I'm going to restructure today's show for safety. On our terms."
He left to attend to our business.
I sat alone at the table, watching morning light move across the carpet.
I didn't feel relief. In its place was something harder.
Commitment.
***
The venue walkthrough started at 11:00 AM.
The Rady Shell, an outdoor amphitheater on San Diego Bay, had a stage facing the water. It was a beautiful venue with terrible sightlines for security.
Griffin stood at stage left when we arrived. He'd changed into work clothes—dark tactical pants, fitted black shirt, and radio clipped to his belt.
Jinwoo had his tablet out while the production coordinator, Lisa, walked through the set list. Taemin stretched his shoulders absently. Minjae was on his phone.
Then Jinwoo interrupted. "I need to make some adjustments," he said in Korean, then repeated it in English.
Lisa glanced up. "What adjustments?"
