I shoved my hands deeper into my pockets.
"He's not going to hurt me."
"Maybe not." Hog shrugged—a massive, slow movement. "Maybe he's exactly what you think he is. I hope so. I'm just saying—keep your eyes open. Know the difference between what you're seeing and what you're being shown."
I wanted to argue. Wanted to list all the evidence, but…
Adrian's phone. The salt shakers I couldn't stop straightening. The hum in my chest that wouldn't quit.
"I hear you," I said finally. "I do. I just—I'm trying to trust it. The good stuff. I'm trying not to ruin it by waiting for the crash."
Hog clapped my shoulder. Heavy. Warm. Grounding.
"That's good," he said. "Just don't trust so hard you stop paying attention."
He squeezed once, then let go and turned back toward the door.
"You coming back in?"
"In a minute."
He nodded and disappeared inside, leaving me alone with the cold and the dumpster.
I stood there until my fingers went numb, then went back inside and laughed at Desrosiers' jokes and pretended I wasn't keeping count.
***
Adrian showed up at my apartment at nine with Thai takeout and shadows under his eyes.
"You didn't have to bring food," I said, taking the bag from him. "I have food. I have—" I glanced toward my kitchen. "Okay, I have half a jar of pickles and something that might be cheese. But still."
"I wanted to." He stepped inside, shrugging off his jacket. His movements were slower than usual. I set the takeout on the counter and turned to face him.
"You okay?"
"Yeah." He reached out to touch my cheek with his fingers. "I just wanted to see you."
"You saw me four hours ago."
"I wanted to see you again."
He kissed me.
It was different from our usual. Slower. His mouth moved against mine like he had all the time in the world and intended to use it. One hand stayed on my cheek; the other slid around to the small of my back, pulling me closer.
"What's this?" I asked when we broke apart.
"What's what?"
"This." I gestured vaguely at the space between us. "You're being soft."
"Is that bad?"
"No. It's just—different."
"Maybe I want to be different tonight," he said.
He kissed me again. Deeper. His fingers threaded into my hair, tilting my head back, and I let him—let him move, position, and hold me. Usually, I pushed to speed things up. Instead, I let Adrian set the pace.
