“Atlas, man.” Kash grabs my arm. “We didn’t know. Cora hides it all well. We just didn’t know where your head was at.”
Shrugging out of his hold, I take in their stunned faces. “It doesn’t matter now.” I push past him and out into the cold. I ignore Emma calling my name. I don’t have time for them. My Firefly has a head start, and I can’t bear to think of what will happen if I don’t have her. I won’t go back to the darkness I was living in before. I won’t survive not having her in my life, either of them.
When I pull out of Emma’s house, I ignore the looks of the guys crowded on the porch and head across town to her house first. The lights are off when I get there, and her car isn’t in the driveway, so I know she’s not home. Using my key, I let myself in anyway.
“Cora!” I yell out, rushing up the stairs. “Noah?” Her house smells of vanilla, and the blanket we were lying under earlier is still haphazardly draped across the back of the couch. The sight of it breaks my heart. I have to get her to listen to me.
I have no idea where the Morgans live, so I look through the drawers in the kitchen, hoping to find a stray Christmas card, an invitation, anything that would have their address. She has to hear me out. I won’t stop until she does. Coming up empty, I move back to the living room and look at the frames on the shelves.
There are photos of Noah and her over the years, along with Mila, Mara, and their parents, and then there are the photos of us. We added more than the one Emma initially took.
There’s one of me and Cora at the shop, a selfie we took on my birthday. We both have large smiles across our faces. She trusted me and gave me the most precious gift, and she doesn’t realize how much I cherish it. Another from our group at Halloween. I wanted to kill Kash when he told her she was a sexy assassin.
After replacing the photos, I take another look around and decide to wait. If she isn’t home now, she will be eventually, and she’ll have to talk to me. I won’t leave until I see her. She has to let me explain. If she won’t, well then there’s always Plan B. I’m not above kidnapping.
Chapter Forty-Four
Cora
“Do you think I could stay here tonight?” I ask Willa as I take a dish from her to put on the table. I don’t want to go home. There are reminders of him everywhere, and I’m not quite ready to see them.
“Of course you can. You don’t even have to ask. I was hoping to see Atlas. It’s a shame he couldn’t make it.”
Not trusting myself to speak, I silently nod and continue to help set out desserts. She doesn’t realize how much her words sting. A pit forms in my stomach when Willa offers me apple pie, but I shake her off. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to eat it again. Something so sweet turned so sour.
Grabbing a cookie and a brownie, I decide to take comfort in the chocolate route.
When I got here, sans Atlas, Mila and Mara asked where he was. I only shook my head, and they left it at that. They made up an excuse to their parents, saying Atlas wasn’t feeling well after dinner, and didn’t want me to miss out on the holiday with them, so he stayed behind at Emma’s. Noah, fortunately, slept through the car ride over, where I alternated between wiping away stray tears and quiet sobs.
I know that once everyone goes to bed, I’ll have to explain, but right now, I pretend to be happy even though I feel like my heart is broken.
“So how was dinner with Atlas?” Willa asks, settling in at the table.
I decide to tell her about the good parts that happened before it was over. “Emma cooked a lot of food, and we had some fun conversations. Noah behaved himself, of course, so it was a good time.”
“I wonder what could have made him sick,” she muses, digging into her plate of miscellaneous desserts, including that damn pie.
“No clue,” I offer lamely.
“I didn’t even get to say bye,” Noah grumbles. “I fell asleep. Atlas said we’d play a game.”
I won’t cry again. I will not cry.
“Don’t worry, kid. We have games here,” Mila tells Noah, earning a grateful smile from me.
“I know, but Atlas said he had some old game he wanted to show me.”
“How about we watch a movie instead?” Willa offers. I avoid her gaze but breathe a sigh of relief when Noah agrees.
The conversation moves to safer topics, and I silently count the minutes until I can respectfully head to bed. I’ve managed to avoid Mara and Mila all night, so when Willa asks them to help clean up, I seize the opportunity to disappear upstairs.
We remain with the Morgans for the duration of Thanksgiving break. Mara and Mila close the shop for a few days and stay here with Noah and me. I took some time from the library. I can’t hide here forever, but at least a few days away from home will give me the time and space to think.
I quit the tattoo shop. I called the shop from Mara’s phone and got Rhett. I told him I wasn’t coming in anymore. He tried apologizing, but I hung up quickly. I don’t want to hear any apologies. The guys were right to be worried about Atlas. He’s young and has so much to offer someone; he deserves someone with less baggage.
“So how long are you going to hide?” Mara asks, staring at Mila and Noah as they roll dough along the dining room table. We’re camped out on the sofa in the living room, and I’ve been dreading going back to real life.
“I’m not hiding.” I pout.
