I tower over her and could crush her with a flick of my claw. Of course, I’d never do it. It’s fascinating to me that, while I know my own strength and know I could destroy her easily, I feel absolutely powerless in front of her. She controls whether I live or die.
I move my massive, horned head close to her face, and my breath rushes hot against her skin as my blue eyes focus on her.
“Come, Tressa. Ride me.”
She laughs. The sound is hollow and sad.
“No, Altair. You know I would never. Should I remind you what happened to my brother when you asked him to ride you?”
I’d have expected her to be angry and hateful, like she always is, but her voice sounds defeated and resigned. There’s no fight left in it, no fire, and that saddens me more than anything. It’s worse than her throwing plates at me or calling me a murderer. This quiet defeat is what finally breaks through my walls.
I back away from her and shift to my human form. Once again, I stand naked before her, but now I’m vulnerable in a way I wasn’t before. I tuck my wings and my tail into my body, wanting to look fully human.
I’m not hard anymore. How could I be? After her words, desire has fled entirely. All that remains is shame and grief.
She isn’t looking at me with the interest she showed an hour ago. Tressa’s eyes study me from head to toe, but the flush from earlier is gone. She doesn’t seem affected by my nakedness.
I take a few careful steps toward her, moving slowly, not wanting to startle her.
Tressa moves close to the balcony railing. Her hand grips it tightly, knuckles white. I can’t tell what she’s thinking. Is she afraid of me? Scared I might do something to humiliate her further?
I hate that these thoughts might be going through her head. I curse myself silently for creating this situation. I wonder why I must be the horrible creature that I am. But I know exactly why. I am the result of my father and his upbringing – raised by a monster and taught by a monster.
“I am sorry,” I say.
Nothing shifts in Tressa’s expression. She just stares at me with those green eyes. She doesn’t believe me.
I try again, putting everything into my words.
“I am sorry. I am so sorry for everything that I’ve done to you, and everything that my father and my family have done to your family. For what it’s worth, I am not like my father. And now the Kingdom of Aurumveil has a human queen, and things are changing. I am changing.”
“Are you truly not like your father?” she asks. “Or is it something you tell yourself because it makes you feel better?”
She’s right. I tell myself I’m different, but how can I be?
Tressa sighs heavily. She sounds exhausted.
“Altair, tell me the truth. Why did you bring me here? Just to be your servant? Just to torture me and punish me? For what? I’ve never done anything to you.”
“I am sorry. I don’t know... I don’t know what I was thinking. I saw you there, on the auction block, and I knew I couldn’t leave without you. I knew I couldn’t let someone else, some other monster, buy you. I know I am a monster myself, maybe one of the worst. But I couldn’t. I had to have you.”
Tressa scoffs at me.
“Because you didn’t have enough servants?”
“No. This charade is over. I never wanted you as my servant. I want you as my wife. When I decided to go to the bride market, it was because I was looking to buy a bride.”
Tressa laughs in my face.
“And do you expect me to believe you? Do you expect me to be impressed by this sick game you’re playing?”
“Please believe me.” My voice cracks. “I know I’ve been awful to you, and I can’t explain it. I have no excuse. But… please believe me. I want you to be my wife.”
Tressa shakes her head, still laughing. She waves at me dismissively, in a gesture of complete rejection, and turns away, walking back into her room. She closes the door firmly and draws the curtains, shutting me out.
I watch the light in her room go out. I stand naked in the cool night air, with blood drying on my back.
I went too far, and not just tonight. I will never have her.
