“At first, things were great. But being an English teacher involves a lot of hours grading essays, and since I taught mostly AP classes and ACT preparation, there was also a lot of lesson prep and tutoring students after school. Even summers were crammed because I taught summer school and worked on curriculum committees, in addition to extra tutoring, so I could start putting aside money for Ezra’s college fund.
“Her work was different. It wasn’t grading, but there was a lot of concert preparation, and she did voice lessons. When there was a performance looming, her time was scheduled pretty deeply, but it still wasn’t like the constant workload I had.”
He watched her nod slowly as she drew the obvious conclusion.
“You grew apart.”
“Yes. I was working hard to provide for them both, and I always made sure I had time for him. Made sure to do my share of raising him, being at his events and things like that, but that left very little time for her and me.
“We argued about it constantly. Well, she argued. I listened. But I was very clear with her that I was who I was, and things weren’t likely to change. I did try, but Ezra and the job came before her, and she didn’t like that. Told you I wasn’t going to come out of it looking great.”
“Your intentions were honorable. Sometimes, what seems right at the time? Looking back now? Time and experience teach us that there are other options, even when in the past it didn’t seem like there were. Or that we chose the actions as the best options. But the truth is, we never really know, Lucas. You could have done something else, and the end result would have been exactly the same.”
He chuckled. “Spoken like a true philosopher. My former students would have said that would make a great final exam essay. ‘Is it fate, where we control our own path, never able to truly divert the universe’s plan? Or is it destiny where we forge our own path based on the choices we make?’”
“Yes,” she agreed simply. He could almost see her brain shift the topic before her voice did. “Ezra and I chatted on Monday night at the movie, and he mentioned he doesn’t see his mother often.”
The laugh he let loose held the last remnants of bitterness he had for his ex-wife. “She calls, but it’s rare. He’s not particularly interested in talking to her. I’ve worked hard not to speak badly about her, as well as not to discourage him from reaching out to her, but…” He shrugged. “Maybe when he’s older, he’ll have a change of heart.”
“He doesn’t seem to have suffered from a lack of attention,” she replied. “And how do you feel about her being gone? Do you miss her?”
Turning, he pulled the towel off his shoulder, unfolded it, and laid it over the counter’s edge to dry. Then he resumed his sideways position.
“No. Sad as it may be, it wasn’t all that difficult of a split for me. A small part of me even felt relieved. But maybe that was because she was right all along. She argued that I’d been withdrawing from her for years, maybe even before we were married. Said I was so stuck on plans and assuring our future that I sabotaged any chance we had of actually having one. Yet again, I come out of this not looking good,” he admitted.
“I don’t think so. Some relationships just aren’t meant to be. I certainly don’t miss my ex-husband.”
“So, what’s your story?”
Her tone was acerbic. “Talk about not looking good. Trust me, you don’t hold the monopoly on that.”
She pushed off the counter and stepped into the living room area but parked herself on the other side of the pass-through window between there and the kitchen. He recognized the maneuver. By putting the physical wall between them, the window allowed her to open up to him, yet also afforded her some protection. Rather than frustrating him, he found it endearing because it meant she understood, at least subconsciously, how he felt about opening up.
“My junior year, I dated a boy in my friend group. His name is Tripoli, or… that’s what we called him. My home life wasn’t good. No mom. Dad was abusive.”
Her anger over Kennedy’s situation made total sense to him now. She wasn’t just angry for her—she was angry because she understood exactly what the girl was going through.
“Trip is a natural caretaker, and when he realized what was going on at home, he made every effort to spend time with me, whether at the library, out on dates, or at his house, so that I wasn’t home with Dad. He was a year ahead of me and had already committed to the Navy after graduation, so we broke up right before he left—one hundred percent a joint decision. And because my friends were all a year older than me, I was left on my own senior year.”
He had a feeling he knew exactly what happened next. He’d seen it happen before. Pretty girl. Lonely. Bastard slipped right in there.
“That’s when I met Knox. Once Trip was gone, he swept in and gave me a safe place to land. Or so I thought.”
He watched her fingers splay on the countertop and suddenly become the most important thing in the world to look at. “When my friends all regrouped back home for Tripoli’s first leave, I introduced him to them. They hated him on sight, but I wouldn’t listen to their attempts to warn me. Guess they saw what I didn’t.
“I was enamored with his good looks, his popularity, and how well he treated me with gifts and fancy dates. It reminded me of Trip and how he tried to protect me from a really shitty homelife. Kennedy’s situation reminds me a lot of my teen years, only back then, teachers were willing to look the other way more, so the bruises and absences went undocumented.
“Looking back, I should have listened to my friends. After they all went back to school, and Trip was back on the bus to San Diego for his first assignment, Knox got worse. He knew my guard dogs were gone. The day I graduated, he helped me pack my bags and got us out of the state so fast, my head was spinning. I thought it was the best thing for me, but now I know he wanted me as far away as possible from anyone who might get me to see straight and maybe even convince me I’d made a horrible mistake.
“We ended up getting married, going to the police academy together, and we were hired by the same precinct. Things were good for a while, but then he wanted a family. I wasn’t averse to kids, but I wanted a promotion first. Wanted to wait for kids.”
He commented, “Sounds like we’re more alike than we knew.”
“Now you see why I said we all make mistakes. I made some of the exact same ones.” She sighed. “So, eventually, when he knew I was applying for a promotion to detective, he threw his hat in the ring without telling me. He started putting a bug into our chief’s ear that I wanted to start a family, and since a pregnant detective wouldn’t look good, he promoted Knox over me. Claimed being a detective wasn’t a woman’s job, anyway.”
“The good ol’ boy network is alive and well,” he said.
“Exactly. Knox didn’t even want the job, per se, but he wanted the power of the position,andhe didn’t want me to get it. That led to him interfering in my reports and cases, and eventually led him to sabotage both me and my work. I gave uptrying to defend myself. His toxicity had spread too deep by the time I realized what was going on. So I started looking for other jobs. However, he’d been talking to cops in other places, so I couldn’t get hired anywhere. He wanted me tied to him.”
