“No, it doesn’t. Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t.”
“I told you that meeting new people is hard for me.”
Thomas nods, taking my hand and urging me on.
I take a deep breath. “When I meet new people, my brain tells me that they are picking apart every piece of me. I overthink literally every aspect of an interaction. From the way my voice sounds, to the way I say a word, or the way Iwalk when I’m throwing something in the trash. It’s exhausting.”
He squeezes my palm, showing me he’s listening. I’m distracted for a brief moment when a dragonfly buzzes into my line of sight, landing on a nearby rock. Thomas glances over, his eyes widening as he takes it in. He looks back at me after a moment, his eyes full of some emotion that I can’t place. When he doesn’t say anything, I continue.
“It’s so frustrating overthinking everything. I wish I could be normal, but I can’t.”
“Normal is boring,” Thomas says. “You’re doing amazing with Ron and Dottie. They love you, but I can understand that it’s hard when you have these things running through your mind. Is there something that I can do to help you in this?”
I shake my head. “You’re doing it. I like having someone by my side, even though my therapist wants me to do things on my own. A year ago, I couldn’t even go into a coffee shop to pick up an order on my own. Now, I can sit and read a book for an hour and not freak out. There’s still the constant noise in my head that people think I’m weird for reading a book alone in public, or what I’m eating or drinking is too many calories, but it’s progress. Miles and my therapist have helped me a lot.”
“Miles, like your partner at work, Miles?”
“Yep. When you are stuck in an ambulance for twelve-hour shifts with someone as kind and talkative as him, they help you break down your boundaries.”
Thomas chuckles. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”
“I always forget that you went to high school with him. Well him and my sister.” I glance down at where his hand is on my thigh. “Are you sure it’s not weird for you that you went to high school with my sister and we’re… y’know?”
“Engaged?” Thomas supplies.
Heat flushes my cheeks. “We aren’t really engaged, but you know what I mean.”
“For all intents and purposes we are,” Thomas says, offering me a wink. I can’t stop the smile that crosses my face. “But to answer your question, no. Our age difference, or the fact that I went to high school with your sister, doesn’t bother me. Does it bother you?”
I shake my head rapidly. “No, not at all.”
“Good,” he replies. “Because age is just a number, baby.” He raises his brow, and his dimples pop with his cheeky, gap-toothed grin. Every time he calls me baby, a butterfly flies in my stomach, tickling my insides.
I can’t stop the laugh that slips out. “That was horrible,” I giggle. The dragonfly that was in view on the rock the entire time flies away, leaving our gazes following after it for only a moment.
“What can I say? I’m a charmer,” he replies, looking back at me. “But really, it doesn’t bother me. I like you for who you are. You’re beautiful, kind, and a damn good kisser.”
I swear, my skin is going to burn off with how hot it flames. “I am not,” I counter.
“Yes, you are.”
“Stop lying.”
Thomas inhales sharply. “I’m not! Saying you’re a bad kisser would be like saying you have ugly eyes. A lie. Anyone can see that. The blue is so bright it’s almost iridescent, with a hint of gold around your pupils. Though, I wouldn’t want anyone else to kiss you to prove my point. I’ll keep you to myself, thank you very much.”
With that, he takes my lips in a bruising kiss, this one different from any of our other kisses. This oneis passionate, his lips roughly moving with mine as he tries to prove his point.
He leans his swing forward, one hand on my thigh, moving to rest on the base of my neck above my breasts. I’m sure he can feel the heavy pounding of my heart and the heat of my skin, but I don’t care. I’m learning his touches, learning the way he moves and breathes, letting each new thing I learn engrave itself in my brain.
I let myself lean into the kiss, trying to do something I never thought I would. Take the lead. Only instead of meeting his lips, I feel the moment we lose balance. His swing shifts abruptly, causing us to pull apart and him to flail, arm waving as he tries to catch his balance.
Laughter bursts from my chest as I open my eyes and see him, eyes wide as he leans back, his fingers white-knuckling the ropes connected to the tree. His blue eyes are wide as he looks at me. “On second thought, maybe we should go inside if we’re going to get lost in each other.”
Heat burns inside as his words hit me. He wants to get lost in each other? Does that mean what I think it does? Thomas stands from the swing, holding out his hand to me. Heat burns in his gaze as he rakes his eyes up and down my body. When I stand, he pulls me into him, his arms wrapping around my waist, fingertips caressing the top of my ass.
If a simple graze of his fingers over my jeans-covered butt sends a zing of excitement through me, what will I do when his bare hands are all over my body?
“Let’s go inside. I’m starving,” Thomas says, squeezing my hips. I don’t miss the double entendre in his words as he slides his hands around my belly to take my hand.
