I didn’t want oatmeal this morning, but when Judy was hovering over me, snapping her gum in her mouth impatiently, I ordered the first thing I saw. Oatmeal and toast. Then, to add insult to injury, when she asked what type of toast I wanted, I said rye.Rye?! I hate rye.Why didn’t I order wheat?
So, here I am, picking at my breakfast. Except, if I’m really honest with myself, if I had ordered something I wanted, would I have eaten it in front of him anyway? I hate eating in front of people. My brain likes to overanalyze every look from someone, as I consider if I’m eating too much, because people love to judge the amount of food that a fat person eats.
Ugh, I hate myself. Why can’t I be normal? Why do Ihave to think about every bite I take in front of him or anyone for that matter?
I pick at my bread and eat a few more bites of my oatmeal, feeling jealous of Thomas and his plate of hash browns, eggs and meat. I would have loved to order something like that. I will probably make myself a peanut butter and jelly sandwich when I get home, because this oatmeal is not it. Even if I tried to spruce it up with some brown sugar or milk, I’m not sure it can be salvaged.
“What does the rest of your day look like?” Thomas asks a few minutes later.
I shrug. “Probably sleep. I’m off the next few days, so I’ll take a nap today, and try to get back on a normal sleep schedule since I’m on days next.”
“Me too,” he agrees, taking the last swig of his coffee. “It's my niece and nephew’s first birthday party tomorrow, so I need to get some sleep so I can be a presentable human.”
“How many nieces and nephews do you have?” I ask curiously. After growing up in our small town of Ivy Ridge, I know he has a few brothers, and over the years, they’ve all found their partners, or gotten married. It’s adorable, and honestly, I don’t know why someone hasn’t snatched up Thomas yet. If I could, I would.
“Three nieces, one nephew, and another nephew due in August. Lots of kids lately. My parents are loving it.” He smiles softly, an almost proud look crossing his face.
“I bet. It seems like fun.”
“What about you? Any nieces or nephews?”
I shake my head. “Nope. My older sister is married, but I don’t think she and her wife are planning on having kids.”
“What about you? Do you have a partner? Kids?”
His question is innocent, genuine even, but it stings a bit that he knows so little about me. It shouldn’t, it’s not as if I’m a memorable person in town. I shake my head. “No. Single.”
Thomas looks across the small table at me, and his blue eyes blaze, something I don’t recognize. “Well, I’m sure you’ll find someone, if that’s what you want.”
“You too,” I mutter, though I’m trying hard not to swallow my tongue.
Judy swishes over to us, dropping the bill onto the table. Thomas swipes it before I can, and I hold out my hand. “Give it to me when you’re done. I have cash for my half.”
“Nope,” Thomas states. “I’ve got it. You can get the next one.” He winks and flashes me a grin, showing off the slight gap in his front teeth that I find so insanely adorable.
I can’t help the swoon that rocks its way through my body. He shouldn’t be saying these things to me, because now, I’ll probably romanticize the heck out of this one interaction for months. Like I said,pathetic.
“Right,” I say through an awkward laugh.
He pays the bill despite my second attempt at paying my half, and we walk out the door together, watching our town slowly come alive with the morning activities. I’m nearly dead on my feet, and simply cannot wait to get to bed at this point.
“It was nice talking with you,” I tell him. Because I’m weird and don’t know what else to do, I offer out my hand to shake.
Thomas smiles his easy-going grin again and shakes his head. “Nah, we can hug it out, freckles.”
Oh god.
He leans in and wraps his arms around me in a tight, amazing hug. I can’t even think because one second I’m staring at him, the next, I’m face first in his chest,breathing in his insanely good smell. He smells like that candle scent atBath & Body Works.Mahogany Teakwood? I don’t know. He smells fabulous. I stand awkwardly until I remember to wrap my arms around him.
His arms tighten around my shoulders, and wow. He really is a great hugger. The type of hug where I feel like I can let everything go, and maybe feel like the weight of the world is off my shoulders. Even if it’s only for a minute, the relief is indescribable.
He releases me, though I could stay in his arms forever. “See you next time, Hannah.” Thomas turns, shoving his hands in his pockets and heading down the sidewalk toward the police station.
I stand there, awkwardly, watching him for longer than I’m sure is appropriate, before getting into my car and attempting to process the last hour of my life.
I just had breakfast with a man I’m extremely attracted to, and I didn’t spontaneously combust. And he hugged me? And… hold on. Did he call me freckles?
4
